Jay's oeuvre

Jaybert
Sunday, April 05, 2009

Jaybert is from Elbonia. Elbonia is a little known fourth world town in the communist Bengal. Elbonia has been famous only because long back a large cache of arms was dropped in its mainland to fight the mindless rule of Communists. All the hopes of a great renaissance died when the mighty people of Elbonia decided to use the rocket launchers to tie their cows.

Jaybert has been working in the heart of the communists, disguised as a supply chain expert. Secretly, he works with the brotherhood to overturn the communists one day.

Just about two years ago, Jaybert joined as a fresh and young graduate in the organization, and worked hard to expand the Supply Chain Operations. He expanded the operations for entire 2 years. He accumulated net +ve accolades (summation of all the brickbats and accolades). Today, Jaybert has just executed a plan to reduce the warehouse and make all the processes lean.

Pointy haired Boss - What next?
Jaybert - Do I go beyond and open more warehouses?

Pointy haired Boss - Please, feel free to do so as long as you don't ask for cash.
Jaybert - Cash!! Do I get a permission to go and try win one of those reality TV competitions. This will get us cash, keep me busy for a few months and no one has to know.

Pointy haired Boss - What are the odds?
Jaybert - Let's say, If I compete as a transvestite with a big rack, in a show called Dancing Queen, I can at least reach the semis without a fight. The other option is to enroll into Big Boss, where the probablity to win the event is high even if someone lacks talent.
Pointy haired Boss - That's TV and too risky. I would need money to fix you to win the competition.
Jaybert - What do I do then? I don't have work. Are you gonna fire me?

Pointy haired Boss - Not really. I already got Catbert to fire your other colleagues. Who do I boss around? Besides you are too cute to let go.
Someone poking the "pitchspoon" into Jaybert's sordid posterior, by now goes unnoticed.
Jaybert - hmm.. What should I do?
Pointy haired Boss - There is one guy eligible to ask questions here and that's not you. Besides I pay you to think.
Jaybert - I can do one thing. There were two warehouses I built last year. I can destroy them now. It will take about 6 months and then, we can rebuild it ,which will take another 6 months. So, we get busy for the entire year.

Pointy haired Boss - great! I like it.
While you do it, keep some reasons ready for justification of your actions.

(Apologies to hard core ADAM SCOTT fans, for the shortcomings in the above piece especially the lingo)

Labels: Favorites, humor, officejazz

1 Ants in my pants:

At 4/05/2009 05:32:00 PM, Anonymous said...: jaybert

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MTV youth Icon of the Year
Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Check out this >> Lotsa Lota!

SMS Icon KK and send it to 56882 and vote for Kaushalendra

You do feel proud to be associated with such a person. So many of his batchmates like me, got lured by corporates - He decided against it. He has started "Samriddhi" - which delivers vegetables to the customers in association with vendors and farmers. He has involved every stakeholder in the entire value chain. Foremost he decided to go back to his roots - in Bihar - and pull it off.

Labels: Business, college, life

1 Ants in my pants:

At 1/07/2009 01:55:00 PM, vaibhav said...: NMTV Personalities of the year are NMMC SCC Sandeep Naik and commissioner Vijay Nahata

He is young, he is suave, he is tech-savvy and he defies the belief that politicians are a gang of good-for-nothings. Exposed to the world of politics at a young age, the younger son of Thane Guardian Minister Ganesh Naik comes from that breed of educated, young politicians that the nation craves for today. His dynamicity as a leader came to the forefront only after he took over as the Standing Committee Chairman of NMMC.

Read more…

http://sandeepnaik-navimumbai.blogspot.com/2009/01/nmtv-personalities-of-year-are-nmmc-scc.html

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My Motorcycle Diaries.
Sunday, June 08, 2008

My Cellphone was incessant. The whole world breaks lose to disturb my beauty sleep, which anyways has long alured me since I moved outta college.

"Hello" A very impatient worried voice replied "Sir, there are people around with flags. Shouting and there is chaos. They want the warehouse shut"

There was no manager available and people down the rung didn't know how to face the adversity.

"Shut it and ask all of the workers to move out. We will start work in the evening"

Sukumar Pal, the Loss Prevention Officer who happened to be the localite, dealt with the crowd and coolly handled the situation. He got the shutters pulled down and sealed. Except for the security everyone was goarded off from the site.

After that, what followed, was an ugly day of phone calls all of which were answered with the explanations on future coarse of action on how deliveries to the stores can't be made today. It's been the second consecutive day of Bandh/strike called by Political parties. It had crippled productivity and to beat the blues, I was getting some work done by shutting the warehouse from outside while inside workers were going bout their work as usual. In the Repacking centre, all women workers had also turned up and production was up to meet the surge in demand and sales in the stores. Only, some localites got a faint idea what was going on inside and soon a crowd gathered there and demanded immediate closure.

Its been an year since I walked out of college and since then its been a roller coaster (..shouldn't I name this article The Rollercoaster Diaries). This wasn't a unique morning, but just a part of series of challenges thrown in past one year while living in THE COMMUNIST BASTION in India - Kolkata.

Only this time, the strike (Bandh) has been called to protest the Price hike in petrochem. The reasons for bandhs don't matter anymore. Every month we are plagued by 2 to three days of strike in this part of the country. The Party ruling the state and the opposition are equally vehement about protests and thats the way they do it - "Jay, the more ya sleep the more ya reap."

You may lose time but your deliverable in modern corporate ain't lowered. At times it frustrates and at times it makes you smile. There is a shining Indian story and there is this part still living with communist ideologies...

... and then there is Jay who can talk about the economics of price hike and inflation..

lol BullShit. "Chalbe Na" Shut the F@#$ up and sleep.

[In this era of celeb blogs - I donno how many are gonna read it. But hey! do gimme credit for a hungry man, who could not pile up his ration before the bandh took effect and all shops were shut, has written it :) ]

Labels: life, politics, Work

6 Ants in my pants:

At 6/14/2008 06:04:00 PM, The Snitch said...: Oh, good to see you back again Jay Bhaiya! This is Ish..deado..you remember? I was wondering where you are..so it's Kolkata now. Situation doesn't seem very good but anyway, how is everything else going? It's great to see you again.

I also wanted to ask another thing, are you still a part of the iBored blog we had? If so, can you please send me another invite to that on this ID with which I'm posting a comment?
At 6/17/2008 12:49:00 AM, JAY said...: Hey, deado..
yeah been an ardous journey.. Wassup with ya ... live an kicking with a loads of blogging?
.. iBored .. yeah it shows in my dash board .. but i donno if i can invite anyone.. will check it some time.
At 6/24/2008 12:37:00 AM, The Snitch said...: I'm fine, still blogging yeah. Now looking to attend college. What's been up with you?

And don't worry about iBored. We figured it out ourselves.
At 8/03/2008 10:13:00 PM, ruffles:p said...: yipppeee found ur blog at last!!!
At 8/06/2008 09:26:00 PM, JAY said...: heyz Ruffles .. ur a sweetheart. Loadz of love.
At 8/10/2008 03:41:00 PM, Anonymous said...: hey super-child-prodigy-books-knowledge-know it all-logical explantaion jayyyyy

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Mannu Bhai Motor Chali pom pom.
Sunday, October 21, 2007

We had driven hardly for about 15 min., yet it seemed an endlessly painful rock ride. Heavy vehicles would come from the front, flash their lights and we would have a complete blackout. Sitting on the pillion I would wonder how Mannu was able to guide our way into the darkness. Soon, Mannu interrupted my thoughts.

"Can u see anything".
"No"
"Me too'.

I smiled. "Then slow down the bike".

"Ok"

His left feet flicked on the gear peddle and the bike slowed down.

"Arre its too slowwww.." Couldn't complete it. Damn bump dram hump pump. I only had an idea something was going wrong. The front wheel wasn't on the road anymore. Seemed we were sliding down a pit. Suddenly, the body mass of existence flew in air. The laptop that was till now sitting pretty on my back, was suddenly over my head pulling me along.

My palm touched the ground 1st and the cell fone slammed on the flat hard road. (Sehwag's mom had advised to keep the cellphone mutthi mein - not my fault) I wasn't resisting any of these nature's call. I just let it go and with a sommersault I was 6 fts away from the bike. The Laptop was still hanging around though.

Pat - Jay gets up. Pat - he would assess this not the sets of MI2. Pat - Jay thinks he had a friend called Mannu with him.

My wandering eyes fixed on to mannu who was getting up. I started enquiring if everything is alright. He said "Yes, seems so. Look at my face it seems I am hurt around the forehead"

I looked at him, I could see his skull. His forehead had hit a stone and it had split the forehead open with a big cut. I said "nah, its cool. Lets try to get the bike on the road and move on."

Some bystanders helped me to get the bike back on track. I asked them If I could get a medic help somewhere and moved along. They guided us to a nearby engineering College. I enquired Mannu if you wanna go the college hospital and he refused. He was stiched in a small clinic near the college.

They all asked if we were students of the college. I said "oh umm we were, three years back. Now, Mannu teaches there and I have come to meet professors afer a long time".

The whole episode was no less exciting than experiencing . The only regret remained - "the flashlights and cameras around to capture the "somersault" or pretty chicks watching me do the act :(.

Labels: friends, Miscallaneous, stories

2 Ants in my pants:

At 12/30/2007 09:20:00 PM, Lizze said...: Yeah big shame that there was no cameras around .... would have been to see that ;)

Glad you + friend are ok
At 1/06/2008 07:22:00 AM, barb michelen said...: look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

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BO-MAN: Our Friendly Neighbourhood
Sunday, August 19, 2007

Recently, I found this wonderful conversation between two of the most wittiest personalities around. May be this exaggerated appreciation is there, because I am fond of Boman Irani and his acting skills.

Cyrus: That’s also how you met Shiamak Davar

Boman: Shiamak is a wonderful, wonderful guy. He had come to my studio. I was taking pictures of him, trying to entertain him with my jokes to put him at ease because he kept saying he was ugly. He came back the next day and said, R 16;You know Boman, you should be on stage.’ He asked me to audition for a small part in Alyque Padamsee’s play “Roshni”… Alyque initially had rejected my audition. Shiamak insisted that he would not choreograph the show if I was not in it and I did the show, I did one song in it.
Cyrus: No offence to Alyque, the play was…
Boman: Go ahead and offend Alyque. It’s okay.
Cyrus: Yes, the play was really bad. And the only good part about the play was the pimp… you.
Boman: Parsi mothers are always very proud of their children. After the show, my mother asked around, ‘Did you like my son?’ They didn’t know who her son was. So she said, ‘The pimp is my son.’ Someone ask ed her if she wanted a lift, and she said, ‘My son will drop me.’ ‘Who will drop you,’ they asked from the other end of the lobby and she went, ‘My son… the… the pimp will drop me. Don’t bother.’
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You’re making fun of my mom by laughing. But yes, growing up in a Parsi family, I’m used to Parsi moms. Every time the dhobi comes, she would go, ‘Tum idhar tehro. Main kapda nikaal ke aati hoon’ (You wai t here. I will remove the clothes and come).
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You are laughing at my mom again. I’m offended. (mockingly)
Cyrus: Tell me about the classic romance. Your wife used to buy only 100gm of chips from your shop everyday.
Boman: Dumb me, I would not understand why she would buy 100gm everyday when she could buy in bulk. And then, it struck me that maybe…
Cyrus: Her version is that you were the one who gave her 100 gm everyday saying that you were not allowed to give more. But we’ll stick to yours.

Labels: fun, humor, Miscallaneous

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Recent Posts

Jaybert [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 3:25 AM |(1) comments|

Pointy haired Boss - What next?
Jaybert - Do I go beyond and open more warehouses?

Pointy haired Boss - Please, feel free to do so as long as you don't ask for cash.
Jaybert - Cash!! Do I get a permission to go and try win one of those reality TV competitions. This will get us cash, keep me busy for a few months and no one has to know.

Pointy haired Boss - What are the odds?
Jaybert - Let's say, If I compete as a transvestite with a big rack, in a show called Dancing Queen, I can at least reach the semis without a fight. The other option is to enroll into Big Boss, where the probablity to win the event is high even if someone lacks talent.
Pointy haired Boss - That's TV and too risky. I would need money to fix you to win the competition.
Jaybert - What do I do then? I don't have work. Are you gonna fire me?

Pointy haired Boss - Not really. I already got Catbert to fire your other colleagues. Who do I boss around? Besides you are too cute to let go.
Someone poking the "pitchspoon" into Jaybert's sordid posterior, by now goes unnoticed.
Jaybert - hmm.. What should I do?
Pointy haired Boss - There is one guy eligible to ask questions here and that's not you. Besides I pay you to think.
Jaybert - I can do one thing. There were two warehouses I built last year. I can destroy them now. It will take about 6 months and then, we can rebuild it ,which will take another 6 months. So, we get busy for the entire year.

Pointy haired Boss - great! I like it.
While you do it, keep some reasons ready for justification of your actions.

(Apologies to hard core ADAM SCOTT fans, for the shortcomings in the above piece especially the lingo)

Labels: Favorites, humor, officejazz

1 Ants in my pants:

At 4/05/2009 05:32:00 PM, Anonymous said...: jaybert

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MTV youth Icon of the Year [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 6:14 PM |(1) comments|

Labels: Business, college, life

1 Ants in my pants:

At 1/07/2009 01:55:00 PM, vaibhav said...: NMTV Personalities of the year are NMMC SCC Sandeep Naik and commissioner Vijay Nahata

He is young, he is suave, he is tech-savvy and he defies the belief that politicians are a gang of good-for-nothings. Exposed to the world of politics at a young age, the younger son of Thane Guardian Minister Ganesh Naik comes from that breed of educated, young politicians that the nation craves for today. His dynamicity as a leader came to the forefront only after he took over as the Standing Committee Chairman of NMMC.

Read more…

http://sandeepnaik-navimumbai.blogspot.com/2009/01/nmtv-personalities-of-year-are-nmmc-scc.html

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My Motorcycle Diaries. [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 2:29 PM |(6) comments|

My Cellphone was incessant. The whole world breaks lose to disturb my beauty sleep, which anyways has long alured me since I moved outta college.

"Hello" A very impatient worried voice replied "Sir, there are people around with flags. Shouting and there is chaos. They want the warehouse shut"

There was no manager available and people down the rung didn't know how to face the adversity.

"Shut it and ask all of the workers to move out. We will start work in the evening"

... and then there is Jay who can talk about the economics of price hike and inflation..

lol BullShit. "Chalbe Na" Shut the F@#$ up and sleep.

Labels: life, politics, Work

6 Ants in my pants:

At 6/14/2008 06:04:00 PM, The Snitch said...: Oh, good to see you back again Jay Bhaiya! This is Ish..deado..you remember? I was wondering where you are..so it's Kolkata now. Situation doesn't seem very good but anyway, how is everything else going? It's great to see you again.

I also wanted to ask another thing, are you still a part of the iBored blog we had? If so, can you please send me another invite to that on this ID with which I'm posting a comment?
At 6/17/2008 12:49:00 AM, JAY said...: Hey, deado..
yeah been an ardous journey.. Wassup with ya ... live an kicking with a loads of blogging?
.. iBored .. yeah it shows in my dash board .. but i donno if i can invite anyone.. will check it some time.
At 6/24/2008 12:37:00 AM, The Snitch said...: I'm fine, still blogging yeah. Now looking to attend college. What's been up with you?

And don't worry about iBored. We figured it out ourselves.
At 8/03/2008 10:13:00 PM, ruffles:p said...: yipppeee found ur blog at last!!!
At 8/06/2008 09:26:00 PM, JAY said...: heyz Ruffles .. ur a sweetheart. Loadz of love.
At 8/10/2008 03:41:00 PM, Anonymous said...: hey super-child-prodigy-books-knowledge-know it all-logical explantaion jayyyyy

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Mannu Bhai Motor Chali pom pom. [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 1:42 PM |(2) comments|

Pat - Jay gets up. Pat - he would assess this not the sets of MI2. Pat - Jay thinks he had a friend called Mannu with him.

My wandering eyes fixed on to mannu who was getting up. I started enquiring if everything is alright. He said "Yes, seems so. Look at my face it seems I am hurt around the forehead"

I looked at him, I could see his skull. His forehead had hit a stone and it had split the forehead open with a big cut. I said "nah, its cool. Lets try to get the bike on the road and move on."

They all asked if we were students of the college. I said "oh umm we were, three years back. Now, Mannu teaches there and I have come to meet professors afer a long time".

The whole episode was no less exciting than experiencing . The only regret remained - "the flashlights and cameras around to capture the "somersault" or pretty chicks watching me do the act :(.

Labels: friends, Miscallaneous, stories

2 Ants in my pants:

At 12/30/2007 09:20:00 PM, Lizze said...: Yeah big shame that there was no cameras around .... would have been to see that ;)

Glad you + friend are ok
At 1/06/2008 07:22:00 AM, barb michelen said...: look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

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BO-MAN: Our Friendly Neighbourhood [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 1:21 PM |(0) comments|

Cyrus: That’s also how you met Shiamak Davar

Labels: fun, humor, Miscallaneous

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Meeting Murrrugan. [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 10:11 AM |(5) comments|

"The wings of the plane kissed the terra firma and I woke up to my nervousness of having reached a city,I have never been b4. I slowly made my way outta the airport and found my cabbie waiting for me with a banner in his hand screaming my company's name. I lodged myself in the comfort of the car and soon my cabbie shot,"Wherre to, Sirr?"

"T. Nagar, Sivaji Ganeshan Road"

The smile on the cabbie's face broadens and he pounces on me with a barrage of beamers. " Ganeshaan Sirr.. etc etc etc .... MGR.. me .. Acctorr..." I nodded as if I was as attentative as I was in my biology classes when reproductive system was being explained.

Soon, the cabbie was at his work-lights, Camera,Action-Flassh moves his hands, flassh he folds his sleeves. Flassh he turns it towards me and flassh he points to a tattoo which said MGR.

"..me MGR..Sarr"

lolz lolz lolz.. I rolled my eyes and wondered- the craziness has been underrated.

This is Chennai for yo, me and all.. and its reputation for craziness about movies and movie stars precedes it. Actors like MGR, Sivaji Ganeshan, Kamala Hasan and none otha than Sivaji the Boss have ruled the imagination and fascination of the masses for ever. This is also the city of Balu(Slim), Don and Geela.

The Rest of the day was spent sleeping in the hotel room. (Damn!! was I scared to venture out .. may be I was.) Finally, in the evening, I decided to go out to City centre (its THE Mall here), Shopped, checked out a few gals (it was hard to come by in the ocean of men), browsed through some books in Landmark,ate at KFC and came back.

@ LANDMARK BOOKSTORE and @KFC

While coming back to the hotel, I met Murrugan.. His sweet smile .. finished my day on a colorful note.

Labels: life

5 Ants in my pants:

At 8/09/2007 06:07:00 AM, donthecat said...: ytf didnt u call me ? u crazy ?
At 8/09/2007 06:09:00 AM, donthecat said...: and who is Geela ? Dont tell me it another one of the flatlickians from the Tennis room ?
At 8/09/2007 08:44:00 AM, JAY said...: Ha ha ha I am still here .. i will leave today evening. I lost ur no.

Geela is my dormie and batchmate.
At 8/14/2007 12:54:00 PM, Ish said...: How are you Jay bhaiya? It's been ages.
At 8/15/2007 01:03:00 AM, JAY said...: I am Koolz Ish.. hope ur doin gr8 too

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My Ricky Babloa as Dayal Baba [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 3:11 PM |(0) comments|

He is having a jaw of iron, a will of steel, and a heart of gold. He is called Ricky Babloa. He is my neighbor. The legend says there used to be a Sylvester Stallone fictional character in some hollywood series. Ricky's dad was a die hard fan of the movie. He would throng the local theater every month to have a glimpse of his favorite character. "baba wo maar waala picture aaya kya? baba lo.. jaa maar dey!!" [friend are they showing that action packed movie.... oh my!! he shows such stunts..]

The awe which had gripped him was palpable to the life forms which surrounded him. No wonder when a son was born to his passive wife .. he decided to name him after his GOD.

RICKY BABLOA.

this was as close as he cud get to Ricky Balboa. Now, Ricky Babloa is a grown up young man and his physique would put his nameshake to shame. He is a towering 5 feet and is

heavier than thy (prolly 45kgs). Whenever, I am back home he comes to visit me. We share a lot of information amongst each other. Now a days he is busy imitating some Bangladeshi folksinger. He painted his face and performed exactly like it was done by the originally artist. Later, I found it in youtube too. The Dayal Baba phenomenon.In deep roots of India people get more joy out of a Dayal Baba from Bangladesh than a Younis Khan (the nobel peace prize winner), Taslima (lajja etc etc) or Monica Ali(a booker prize winner for Brick Lane).
When it was my turn to share something with him. I couldn't resist but to tell him everything he always wanted to know about sex, and also, to rekindle his dad's movie mania we sat together to watch Woody Allen's first blockbuster. Ricky Babloa almost died of a laugh riot when the 2nd story in the movie started. It went on like this :

An Old Armenian guy visits a doctor. Doctor asks, " what is your problem?"
"Doctor, I am in love with a sheep". "A what..!!" "A sheep".

Doc is in shock he is just unable to utter any word. After a while he musters all his energy and patiently says," umm I see".

The Armenian guy, "U see doctor, in the heights of those Armenian Mountains. No body is out there. At times it gets lonely and I am not married. That night I was feeling so low and there she was .. so beautiful .. so serene.. soothing me.."

The doc," the sheep!!" ...." Yes, The Sheep" and the Arenian Continued,"I cudn't resist myself doctor.. I made love to her and it was the best sex I ever Had".

The Doc,"ok. So what is the problem?"
"You see Doc.. now, she no longer loves me.. I Can feel it .. It hurts. She no longer wants me, after so many nights together... It breaks my heart.. You have to do something about it doctor. My brother says you are Great. You treated him. I know no one else. you have to do it." And he rushes to bring the sheep in the clinic. Doc kept yelling behind his back... "stop, don't do that.. I am not a veterinarian."

But the sheep is brought in and doctor checks it and falls in love with the sheep.
Later, the doc's wife divorces him for adultery.

As soon as this story was over Ricky Babloa got up and said that he gotta get back to his home. I said that he should wait coz the movie ain't over yet. Ricky Babloa said, "My dad is alone in home, I gotta go fast".

I said, "oh! Is he sick?" He said,"No!!!.. I have 12 sheeps".

Labels: entertainment, Miscallaneous, stories

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To Tie a Knot.. not not. [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 7:22 PM |(3) comments|

A few years back when a friend of mine had flippantly mentioned that the sole pupose of walking the world for such agonizingly long yrs is to produce and leave ur heir; I argued hard against it. Today however, I have been into circumstances that I have started more than believing in it. The whole world is crumbling around me.

80% of my B.Tech mates are married now. Some of them have children :O. Done and dusted..A month back we finished our post grad. and about 20% of the nerds took the plunge as soon as the agony of 2 yrs ended. Phoney, Cole, Anush, Daga.. and the list goes on. I came back and been resting at home.. but signs from the almighty doesnt blip for a second. For continuous two weeks all they would flash on TV is some Celeb Marriage. An Abhishek married an Aishwarya. An Arun Nayar married some Liz Hurley. People say this Liz. and Aish are beautiful women. I smile and shrugg my shoulders.

But, the occult wisdom of the mother earth doesn't stop revealing itself here. As I was back, I visited some of my school friends' families. All they talked about is Marriage-marriage-marriage. Being in the wrong side of 25 is an awesome torture for single males here in India. So, there is this aunt whom, I have been advising on her family matters since, I was in class 8th. her son studied with me for 8 yrs in school. Now, her son is working in an engineering corporation and people r bugging her to get his son married of.. All she did was to discuss the marriage proposals with me.. " THis person has got 3 daughters and 3 sons and he owns 6 small diagnostic centres. Do u thnk he would be able to give enough (read dowry)... afterall I need all the expenses covered up...".

Court. copulate and produce.

My mailbox has started receiving excessive spams of viagra and cialis ads. When it rains it really pains :((.

I am trying to shield myself away from all such alliance tendencies but as i finish this post real fast... someone has just handed a marriage invitation card to me.

(I wanted to add so many things but, in cafe, I can't concentrate and the end result is such a poor post... anyways.)

Labels: life, Miscallaneous

3 Ants in my pants:

At 5/01/2007 11:32:00 AM, lizze said...: So my (single) aunt told me the following a few years back:
When she was in her 30s, all her friends were getting married and having children, she felt a bit low.
At her 40s when her friends were going through divorces, she was like an eagle. She had her own life, she could travel when and wherever she wanted with no kids to consider first and everything to look forward to.

I didn't have it in my life plan to get married but then again, life can be a bitch sometimes ;)

You don't have to comply or follow other people’s timetable ... follow your own - it is your life after all.
At 5/01/2007 11:05:00 PM, JAY said...: ***notes every bit of advice****
At 5/19/2007 01:05:00 PM, Ish said...: My brother got married recently too, I guess he's around 28 or something but he did it on his own. Now that I'm thinking, it's weird no one had started bugging him.

It's real funny when your older brother gets married and all the aunties in the family are like,,"You're next, now it's your turn" and I'm like ," Fuck I'm just 17." But they never learn, do they?

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Wolf - at witz' end [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 8:09 PM |(4) comments|

Ur sorroundings influence you. It does Indeed. My uncle has been a small time political activist (He was fighting the communists.. ). With our constant effort he finallyu distanced himself from all political affiliations.. All?. That's what we thought. But chor chori se jaaye sheena zori se na jaaye. (which means no matter where and how u put Richard Gere, he will create a kissing story out of it ;).. why the fuk did they vote him the sexiest man.. If they did .. tell him since then, a lot of water has flown down the bridge and .. people like Brad pitt and George Clooney have come and gone).. Back to the subject. So this uncle of mine is taking a bed rest for three months coz an accident. Now all his aquaintances come to the house and discuss, politics and business (rn't they synonymous :-?). 24x7.
So it has rubbed on to me, I've gotten into politics and I picked up this news about Wolfowitz. Sounds NAZI.. Nah re. Infact, he is a Jew. President of World Bank. Served in the defence deptt. All the sleazy CV points.

So, this guy is on the news coz of the nepotism he has indulged in. Now, there is an Indian connection to it. Bush made him the president of World Bank to clease corruption. All the presidents of the World Bank have to be Americans .. So, much for the proponents of democracy (rolls his eyes).
So, a man on a mission sends a troupe of lawyers to India to check the corruption in the Health Sector fundings. They summon our Finance Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and wanted to interrogate him .. phewww. The FinMin refused to talk to anyone except their leader ( I guess it was Shaha Riza herself (correct me, if I m wrong). Pissed off. They all went back and recommonded the blockade of all funds to India's Health Mission. And it got Blocked. Some people still treat the third world as their colonies.
Now, its time for Mr. Wolf to answer. He has been charged with showing extra favors to Shaha Riza and had granted her extra powers. Hi hi hi ... ho ho ho... Maza Aaaya

Labels: politics

4 Ants in my pants:

At 4/22/2007 08:56:00 PM, Anonymous said...: That's a great publication on the subject fighting the communists Add your blog site to the bizleadsnet collection.
At 4/23/2007 04:41:00 AM, Trigger said...: yeah, jj, u spelt Riza right. and very enlightening, the behind-the-scene build-up to the Wolfowitz scandal. r these issues, the fractious India visit and the probe on the WB Pres., connected, or is that stretching it a teeny bit...?

btw, as long as you thought out ur future prospects thoroughly, you needn't bother with the peer pressure to start out as self-supporting entrpreneurs. It's all risk, whatever you do; the key ingredient that'll determine whether you succeed or get sucked under is...you
At 4/23/2007 04:58:00 AM, Trigger said...: ...methinks a decision's been made about the Wolf-Riza issue, anyway, except a media lull is being contrived to wane public attention before the axe falls. Whether it's Wolfowitz, Riza, or the Benedict Arnold who blew the whistle, heads will roll, count on it...
At 4/23/2007 03:03:00 PM, Jay said...: I knew writing about politics wd tickle whose bones.. and Trigger it is.. :P.

No the trial for Wolf is noty connected to the behind the scene issue in India.. but was just highlighting the fact.. how one whio is to cleanse corruption is being triad for corruption .. :P

and thanx for the kind words about entrepreneurship issue... but Trigger gimme somethng new :)

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The Return of Prodigal Son [+/-,show/hide post]

by JAY @ 1:06 AM |(5) comments|

Once upon a time there was a king. He ruled an empire which was fast losing its shine and energy. It seemed to be falling down in the dumps. The king would spend time playing chess with a machine, a new technology which was brought to him from an alien land. The machine was referred to by the messenger from far west as the computer. The frustration of not being able to beat the silly machine never got on to the king and he played chess endlessly.

His queen, the mighty woman who stayed with him in his thick and thin would go by the day’s rituals patiently. She would cook, wash and express her dissatisfaction over the shitty work the housekeeper does. Often, to break the monotone she would complain to the King to move to the nearby summer capital Ranchi (also a hill station). The king would brush aside all such expectations. The king was too happy to live in the heat and mistreat, that his castle would bring to him. He in fact wanted to add one more floor to the magnanimity, he called his castle.Why not? He so dearly himself designed the castle.

Designing was one of his old passions. When his fellow princes would go to hunting he would sketch towers on his drawing board. Only now (he is not a public servant anymore) that designing doesn’t earn him any revenue, else he owes his complete pension fund to an engineers' work. Even today people come and ask to design their houses, but they no more pay him and take it for granted, considering it a genuine help the King is willing to offer selflessly. The cost of such a service has surpassed the goodwill it generates. The new machine that his prince had once introduced to him is a wily old creature in designing too, however; the king hates such mechanical interference in his work.

More often than not he finds himself indulging in “remote fights” with his queen.(Its both fighting for the remote control of television and fighting from a distance). Ask him to look 6 yrs back, and he would laugh; ‘cause then he used to tease his lovely queen about the crappy soaps she used to watch. Now, he himself has fallen prey to the web that these family dramas spin. Slaves inform us that they often get bored watching each other and arguments or little fights are just a pass time.

Recently, the queen has seen a buzz in her feet. The King has renovated his castle and pruned all the bushes in his garden, that he created by himself. They say their son is returning home triumphantly from the battlefield. The king took his old chariot, an old and legendary white ambassador, to the station to pick him up. After a bit of tom toming, the charioteer brought everyone home safely.

The prince, excited at the plans he had for his mother was brimming with happiness. He opened the gates and rushed towards his mom. He touched his mom's feet and hugged her. Sigh. Its been two years.

The prince picked her up in his arms and started dancing. The words of Led Zepp’s whole lotta love started ringing in his head. Before he could sing baby you need cooling.., the queen’s eyes lit up in excitement. She saw the companions of the prince in the chariot. There was this little niece of the prince who had come along with him. The queen rushed towards the kid and picked him in her arms. Then she yelled “Say hello grandma”.

The prince thinks … oh! There goes my share of love. Then he turns back and looks at the kid and smiles.

The prince is played by your own Jay. The King is his dear dad and the almighty queen is his mom.

Though the prince couldn’t sing the Led Zepp number; he soon would and he would don a 70s show attire and would belt the guitar and would record it and sing...

You need cooling.
Baby I am not fooling
I am gonna send ya back to schooling
Way way inside, honey you need
I am gonna give u my love
I am gonna give u my love

yeeey
Whole lotta love
Whole lotta love

(Imagine, you singing this to a middle aged Indian housewife who doesn't even know there is world of rock that exists in the same planet..)

Foot note: By the time Jay posted this on his blog.....King's affection for his son was on a wane...and was back to doing his disciplinarian act like scolding for sleeping till 10 in the morning, not taking a bath till 1 pm ..taking his lunch very late and yeah! not shutting his Laptop.

But, you know Jay ..right?.. Like father like son ... Old Habits die hard.

Labels: life, stories

5 Ants in my pants:

At 4/19/2007 07:02:00 AM, lizze said...: You write the most unusual post, if I tried to do something similar it would just be so lame ... you, you do it fine.

Once you bother to read my blog, I have got you something ...
At 4/21/2007 08:32:00 PM, Slim said...: It's incomplete without the jester. Who's the jester?
At 4/21/2007 08:37:00 PM, Jay said...: :-?
Jester bole to :P.

Slimo .. i tried to post a comment thrice on ya page .. all unsexessful.. my penis went limp :(.

Lizze.. what ya mean .. the style suits me.. (suspects sarcasm). but thanku for the t shirt paape.
At 4/22/2007 12:45:00 AM, lizze said...: The possible sarcasm bit was you reading my blog. I got scared that I might loose your interest so I am trying with a bribe. I emailed you but it bounced back ...

I am sincere about you are writing the unusual post and I could never pull that off the excellent way that you do.
At 4/22/2007 07:32:00 PM, Jay said...: Oh Lizze.. Sweet .. I am not losing interest in ur ur posts at all .. Just that i am not finding enopugh time to surf... u know spending some time with family :)

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A bit of jazz in blog, however, falls tremendously short of being a musical

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Sunday, April 05, 2009

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BO-MAN: Our Friendly Neighbourhood
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