Jay's oeuvre

A bit of jazz in blog, however, falls tremendously short of being a musical

Pornucopia.

[prologue to the great Indian erotica]

( pencil. Inspiration is derived from - a person who mentored me to where I am today, and his dream of writing the gr8 Indian erotica.
. reminded by heather and her fellow blogger friends; however, I am delving into that non conventional and weird writing as usual.
. a semi fictional account)
______________________________________________________________________________________

nickel by nickel.. u have scratched out of my body,
I still wanna sing, as I see the chisel in ur hand..
and the horror in your pants.

She, no more asks to be taken to the same bliss, where she had lost herself in passion. All she does, is to hold him tight to her breasts and lets her finger tickle the beast who is lying there like a waste.
The owner of the humongous bestiality doesn't expect a ferocious tigress giving all her wildness to him like this, but all he thinks of is, his struggle to breath freely.
His gentle requests go unheard and he moves to break free from her "generous" arms.Thus, he lets himself live another moment.

She caresses his arms and chirps with her lips "your arms are strong, and I like that". Moments of silence follow and she yells again "your arms are strong, I like them".

"umm, uh yes! yes!.. your arms are stronger"

She watches in horror and demands "you could have said something else".

He caresses her like she is the lotus embodied in a silk-smooth alabaster skin and her legs part with the spell, that they are in.

"your legs are stronger too."

She distances herself the way the sun leaves the mountains every morning; however, her eyes are wide in shock and disgust. Suddenly, the embodiment of two lives into one was stranded before it could begun.

Jay realizes his mistake and thus his 1st erotica dies. Ok! u think it was a joke :P.

Though erroneous, bequeathed,
and surrendered to the sheath ..
but I know u r also a horned one!

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11 Ants in my pants:

At 1/01/2007 12:23:00 AM, Anonymous John said...

LOL I really have nothing to comment about on your attempt at erotica...Just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year! I would say I hope 2007 is a great year for you but it won't be. lol mainly because you join the rest of us working bums and leave college the greatest years of your life.

 
At 1/01/2007 03:14:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

happy new year to u too Johnniee.. but i guess i should wish u after one week since thats the time lag between ur celebrations.. he he he.

yup soon gonna leave college :(

 

ahahaha u labelled as porn.. then i shouldnt read it :P
underage -.-

HAPPY NEW YEAR~

 
At 1/01/2007 03:42:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

aww, one big loss in new yr .. but i m sure u read it :P.

happy new yr luna >:D<

 

I'm thinking mr. 'ethic' lost a 't' on his way around a certain 'path'. Ya dig :-?

 
At 1/03/2007 10:28:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Dude.. u have just started to get to know.. Jay.. hold on .. there is more depth to what u assume.

 

This comment has been removed by the author.

 

lmao...Just jibin', man. Never knew that thick alligator hide of urs had sprung a crack ;-)

 
At 1/06/2007 03:15:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

********rolling eyes********** that comment of mine also was supposed to have a "he he he" missed it :|

 

guess I'll mentally append the 'hehe's in future, eh, JJ? (attach mental "hehe" here, pls...)

 
At 1/09/2007 01:07:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Trigger what is the square root of 99.


hope it helps u get over the paranoia. :|

 

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Netvibes, Fauxto and me

I have been using netvibes for a while. Its a nice place to get all your feeds aggregated.Apart from all the news, I use "webnotes" and "to do list" a lot. Look at the screenshot which showcases my pathetic "to do list" cry.

I used a new online picture editor Fauxto to edit the pic and it simultaneously hosted my picture also. Fauxto is neat and a handy picture editor.


(Click to enlarge)

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8 Ants in my pants:

1000x750 pixels :|

Ah, even my to do list is growing bigger and bigger everyday. Procrastinating is the in thing these days B-)

 

Is it worth getting an account with netwibes? I don't really use To Do lists ...

 
At 12/29/2006 03:53:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

mine is also getting bigger, with a few things never getting struck off..

and lizze pizze.. netvibes aitn only for to do list..u can get all ur feeds there. like i read the blogs from there only .. every post. takes seconds to browse ..(wd go crazy ...if i have to wait for ur page to upload fully)..

and stuffs like that .. a lot of ppl use google reader.

 

whoa there, horsie! don't get ur techie talons in a tangle with these web 2.0 gizmos :-)

Have a Happy Humpin' New Year, JJ...

 
At 12/31/2006 03:56:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

humpin been already done;) /// now lets see wats ahead trigger happy. wish u a happy new yr too.

 

and I dont use rss feed either

tried bloglines but dont use it anymore. tried it in thunderbird and never used it (are now fully on gmail)

 
At 1/05/2007 09:50:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Oh Lizze 8-|.. You are such a right winger republican... Start using net vibes or an aggregator like that and u will see the difference.

 
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A week of turmoil

The week just gone by has been crazy and it's nothing compared to the promise that the coming three weeks hold. I have had three things in life .. work, work and work rain.

I have been tired of answering ppl that I celebrated my Christmas "in the confines of the red brick walled college". Guess what? it was nothing to what has come up now.Rubby called me and informed me of plans for the 30th and 31st. He proposed to go to "Diu" and freak out for the two days with friends.
The state I live in is a dry state which in otherwords means a restriction on alcohol rolleyes.. The only way we managed to get alcohol is by asking the foreign exchange students to get some from the monthly quota of booze they are allowed during there stay in the state.(yeah strange .. ppl with non-Indian passports are allowed, but we aren't ....discrimination and racism at the forefront.)Diu is not famous for beaches or babes, but it is the closest get away where u get to booze a lot with freedom, barely a few kilometers away from the state I live in.

Here comes the spoilsport anchor: Probably mom and dad are gonna visit the city during this weekend so I m not sure if I can spare the time and leave the city.

If that was the wound here is the saltthumbsdown : Suddenly a loads of work has come up related to the recruitment process in the college and hence, if I leave this place I will have to do so at the expense of preparation required for the recruitment season and my career(does it sound bad.. It does mad).

This means my holiday season has completely gone for a toss and so has my blogging habit.

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7 Ants in my pants:

At 12/27/2006 09:11:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Pretty much stinks.Looks like you'll be spending another 31st sitting on yahoo like me then.

Ah these studies and work.

 
At 12/27/2006 09:28:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

most likely not on yahoo

 

That are weird State laws that you have. Maybe it is designed to be a bounding experience with the foreign students? ;)

Get on Twitter instead of using yahoo

Personally, I don't see the big deal with New Years Eve. I am a Xmas person only.

 

most of my friends were spending their christmas at university... i spend my christmas morning working and at night my friends came and visit..

 
At 12/30/2006 05:15:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Eh now most of the foreign students are back.. the new set of students have arrived for this term and ..they "rn't attractive enough :P".

twitter ..sucks.

Amenthyst.. beat some1 up .

 

My, sounds like a doleful finale to the year. Lucky for you the world's coming to an end Jan 1, huh :-?

 
At 12/31/2006 03:18:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

I won't comment on the apocalypse u suggested .. but seems you have updated your blog.

 

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The Mood is Back.

A few days back, I was feeling really OLD. The "will" to play and dance seemed dead. (wtf! that can't be me). Didn't feel like playing cricket and I would returm from the court after one game.(wtf! this is me question).

However, today I felt the zing is back. I played couple of games and emrbraced the pleasure of sweating out again.Plus, I got messages from my baddie mate VASU as to when he can join in to play. He is back from his stint in Amsterdam and he has sent me a couple of pics.











(that's Vasu in Amsterdam,
click that pic to enlarge and see the magic of lightbox ;let the page upload completely and then click.)[update : Lightbox has been removed temporarily]

Ok right!!! he njoyed in the Casinos without me sad. Those two red heads... eh they are Saggy.Now, stop looking at the left-most pic and the other two are the ones so titillating. These are the two new sexy courts coming up in Vasu's dorm. His schedule is jam packed but he is so eager to join the baddie mates in the court. The Baddie club is up and jamming.Yup, now i am excited to and raring to go. We don't have any University matches coming up but we have vowed to play a lot in the next three months, which would be our last few days in University life.

Ain't the green ones sexy and hot. I am salivating. Orgasmmmm!!!!

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10 Ants in my pants:

At 12/24/2006 04:01:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

What did you write there? I still can't see anything except those 2 readheads :P

Btw,I love the way it says 0 Comments.0 Ants in my pants :))))

And it's awesome the way the comment box pops up! You sure it doesn't get blocked or anything? It's totally unreal.The best blog template you've had all your life perhaps.

Arre 31st December ka kya plan hai? :))

 
At 12/24/2006 06:13:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

what do u mean u can't see anythng except the red heads there r two pics and if u let the whole page download and then click over the pics u will see how LIGHTBOX works.

arre template is just ok ok..

aur 31st ko Buzz kariyo we will see .he he he.

 
At 12/24/2006 06:24:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

oye, I mean there r 3 pics... and let the whole pic dl then onnly Lightbox works.

 
At 12/24/2006 08:27:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Oh wow Lightbox is kewl! Didn't notice that earlier!

By saying that I could only see the redheads,I meant that I could not get my eyes of them dumbo :P

Haan Haan 31st to dekhenge

 
At 12/25/2006 01:46:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

Ok two things on analyzing LighBox.

Number 1,It's messing up badly with the SNAP thing you have.They both come up at the same time.

Number 2,It's made your blog pretty slow.There could be some other reason but it takes a long time to load.

 
At 12/25/2006 01:55:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Yeah i know the blog is a bit slower than b4 (but still is faster than wordpress blogs :P).. i used lightbox on trial .. umm yeah snap is messing a bit.. i will see wht i can do i eithr i will take it off or .. i will modify snap not to include images.

 
At 12/25/2006 09:04:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Okay,Lightbox doesn't seem to be working at all now.

And yeah,Merry Christmas!

 
At 12/25/2006 09:34:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

u shd check the update i have disabled it temporarily.

Merry christmas to u tooo.

 
At 12/28/2006 12:00:00 AM, Anonymous khushboo said...

lol.....old..????....??????

 
At 12/28/2006 03:50:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

don't laugh .. grrrr :|

 

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Another template HARAKIRI

I don't end fiddling with template mrgreen. I have again made changes by replacing my earlier smileys to new ones (courtesy: greasemonkey scripts), putting a list of recent comments to my sidebar and by using peek a boo comments.

I don't use too many smileys; but I thgt, hell!! no harm in having them in my template and I am satisfied with type of addition cause they are small.biggrin

I was looking for a list of recent comments to be displayed on my sidebar like I had seen in some wordpress templates. I found some neat hacks in blogfresh and followed it with a bit of customization for my hover menu bar. It was working.

However, when it was time to get a show/hide comments thing(so that one doesn't have to navigate away from the page to read the comments), I ended up spending a lot of time. Finally, i got my rescuer in the blogger help. Lolz, I didn't know it was called peek a boo comments. Its neat and the comments are displayed instantly without having to wait for another page to download.
Meanwhile, I switched from old blogger to blogger beta and I had a tough time. 1st, it took a lot of time to transfer my blogs. 2ndly, for a few minutes it seemed I had lost a few code changes I had made cry.

Thankfully, everythng is fine now. The beta one loads faster so it would tempt me to fiddle with the template further and check the previews fast lol.

Oye, I have changed the background and got dotted borders too (in case u didn't notice).

[update] 23/12/2006 : Modified the comments section. Added colored comment boxes(It's easy just define a class with ur choice of colors and and fix the comment codes within that class.)

tried lightbox. added a searchbox. have a pop-up comment box now.

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13 Ants in my pants:

At 12/22/2006 12:14:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

Your blog's looking much more sexier now ;)

 
At 12/22/2006 01:03:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

he he he .. Thanx :P

 

great one jay ^^
yeah it's peek-a-boo :P

and it seems you made it right :) great

 
At 12/22/2006 01:16:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

yeah thanx efendi.. i wanted to put a comment box here too it wasn't working and it was getting bulkier too.

 
At 12/22/2006 03:00:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

True,a comment box would definately make the whole thing look much more awesome

 

oh I like the show & hide thing!

hope the beta works for you. it has been a right pain the last week or so

keep on fiddling jay

 
At 12/22/2006 04:00:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Yup soon will work on it.. Deado.

he he he Lizze yeah wd keep fiddling.. but have forgotten for a while that blog is for writing stuff and not only designing

..umm need to put up a post:-?

 

posts??? minor details when it comes to blogging ;)

 
At 12/23/2006 07:01:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

:| Lizze

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (wait for another earthquake :P)

lolz i feel addicted to modifying the codes.

 

Thought u'd never be a 'beta blogger', didn't ya? :-)

Nice stuff, this peekaboo thingamajig. Keep at it, Fiddlo Diddlo...

Ah, and don't worry about no posts at the mo. With the hols on, u shd have enough time on ur hands to come up with smth - I mean, it's so cold now, it's just not possible for ur brain to overheat with the effort, is it? :-p

 
At 12/23/2006 10:45:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

he he he trigger yeah been fiiddling with codes and prolly will comment today.

 

Great work on the template. But don't bother with the custom comment box. The new blogger has some improved security settings in comments. They've switched the comments to a https, and I've tried everything I can to make the comments get posted, but it doesn't work. I've wasted 2 whole days on that lol.

 
At 12/28/2006 12:03:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

yeah u r right, two days :-j.. i realised that early tho.. and thought popup comment thing is equallly gud doesn't let u go away from the page.
Handy.

 

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Lemme take a deep breath..

Since my last post...The green Planet has rotated about 16 times, Bush has lived another fortnight to annoy me, Madonna has not bought any new life,Lunaticgal has joined my frustrated blogviewrs,Suga has reappeared,Iqra has changed her blog, my dorm mate still asks me to pick his nose, I have unloaded myself with the sabbatical.. but my typos refuse to go down.

These 10 days been a satisfying work. I completed a project (a business plan), which can work for the upliftment of a tribal area in South Gujarat.Our presentation had put a broad smile on the District Development Officer (an IAS official). His praise, fed my ego a bit more. Well, nothing less but we managed to buy his words that he will act on the plan within 15 days.

It was surprising to find a govt. official so active. It certainly dismantles the myth about the bureaucrats. These people are good, abreast with latest happenings in the corporate world/economy and are eager to get help from consultants from outside(us redface). The IAS was young, tech. savvy, influential and keen to get things going. No wonder he won some awards for the best officials. This sums up his mindset:-

"..Gujarat's GDP growth is somewhere around 12-13% (national avg. been around 8-8.5%). We are asked to double the GDP in 5 years. The 1st question that lingered on our mind was.. 5years!!!!.. thats too loooong"

Anyways, I have unwound myself with this effort and now looking to kick the clubs and mates in the chilling winter.

going... oh! wait.. dude.. will u pick my nose.mrgreen

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13 Ants in my pants:

Same shit, different day huh?

You went down to a tribal area??? How come they didn't cook you up and eat you? :P

 
At 12/17/2006 11:13:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

well.. lol .. I am a man without my "toes" now. :(

Jokes apart .. thats the story.. The place Gujaratis call backward and tribal is more advanced than ..the non tribal areas in any other part of the world.

 
At 12/17/2006 11:54:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

dun really un this post le..
but i glad ur back blogging..
but im leaving!! back to hostel, studying...

 
At 12/18/2006 12:14:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

The Snap thing on your blog is really cool! I tried doing it with my blog too but it's much more complex on Wordpress as you don't get your layout code unless you buy your blog.So you have to go around downloading some plugin and all.Because all that seemed like work,I gave the idea up :P

 
At 12/18/2006 07:18:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yay! finally i can comment in someone's blog! why do you have to pick your friend's nose?

 
At 12/18/2006 10:23:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Ish, so don't u feel blogger is betta .. than wordpress.

Lunaticgal...I would lose net when i leave my dorm and go back home..

and amenthyst... Good going u r posting again ..I donno i don't wanna pick my frnds nose.. u gotta ask the Q to my frnd..

welll i think he knows it annoys me..and so he persists.

 
At 12/18/2006 03:14:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Not actually,I still like Wordpress's feed stats and help service a lot more than Blogger.

 
At 12/19/2006 01:04:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

With the new year approaching,I was thinking of old days..remember the last 2 years?

 
At 12/19/2006 01:54:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

abe ek saal na... 2 yrs .. scratches head..

ha ha ha waise i was thinking of that too .. but main thoda busy hoon pata nahin kya kar raha hounga.. and socha arre tere bhi kuchh jawaan frnds ho gaye hinge mujh budhe ke saath ab tu kya manayega :P

 
At 12/19/2006 07:17:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

:)

 
At 12/19/2006 06:16:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Haha mere koi jawaan friends nahi hain.Aap jaise budhe hi achche hote hain :P

 

I reappeared?
Dude. I was never gone.

 
At 12/23/2006 02:05:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

ek eh...yup u were ..

in my blog and anyways saw u after long ..

didn't i ?

 

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The Newbies

Some fresh new wonderful people have joined the blogspace.Anny joined a few days back. Now her counterpart and arch rival Iqra.

This is the hymn for Iqra.She is little wonder gal from Pakistan. Her energy rubs on to me whenever she talks. When I 1st saw her, I felt that she has been sent with only one motto in life " Some people were born to rule, some were born to demolish the twin towers,Tiger woods was born to put the balls into the holes .. but Iqra was born to TALK"..

Iqra is sweet and its nice to see her in blogspace now.Exactly an year ago I had met a similar gal, with such energy and vibes(the world certainly revolves). Though everything with her ends with Roger Federer,which is not exactly the cake I love .. but hell, This gal is nice.

Welcome to Blogger. In her words " u ko bhi likhna chaloo karna chahiye".

Allah hafiz tongue

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12 Ants in my pants:

Your blog has pop ups? Are you pushing spyware??? :-S

 
At 12/04/2006 04:54:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

ha ha no.. was thinking of putting some... but haven't yet ..been working with greasemonkey.

 

Hey, jay, where u lost?

 
At 12/13/2006 09:12:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

who is the girl?
i would like to see her blog.
links?

 
At 12/13/2006 05:57:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Been busy with some projects...
wd be back in blog soon. Missed ya Anny.

If u click .. her name in my blog "Iqra" u will reach to her blog.. but she hasn't been able to blog coz blogger is banned in pak.

http://iqrarogerfan.blogspot.com/

her new wd be :-

https://iqraboss.wordpress.com/

 
At 12/13/2006 06:35:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Blogger is banned in Pakistan?! Jesus!

 
At 12/14/2006 09:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i now found that many places block some websites.

i heard ppl says that china cant even surf things all around the world, it juz stick to china itself,, is that true??

now i heard pakistan block blogspot.omg!

 
At 12/14/2006 03:01:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Yeah that's why the Chinese don't know what rest of the world is.

 
At 12/14/2006 04:57:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Yup,The Chinese use a lot of anonymizers.. to screw the blockade.. Even we(India) had blogger banned for a while.. but that seemed more of a mistake, later it was allowed ..after protests.

 
At 12/15/2006 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Ish said...

Even we had banned blogger?!

Thank God for the protesters that good sense prevailed and it was allowed back on.

 
At 12/17/2006 06:48:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Yup we had like 20 or more sites on the banning list .. umm like 5 months back. but i think u were cosy with wordpress that time.

 
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CSS... My Ass

Hadn't changed my blog for a while now(not that I am very willing to change). As the exams got over and no sports for a while.. I had the time to fiddle with it. 1st Thing I looked at, was the complaint of those long posts, I am addicted to. So... what I did was using the "read more" thing, which we see in the newspapers. Then I saw that in Franky's blog and then Slim's. I was looking for javascript and CSS .. but I dunked the javascript (avoid it as long as possible), and got some simple solutions in blogger help. Then, I customized it to use it only for my long posts. I love it when its done with simple codes.

Then, I was looking to get that hoverbox for comments about any links on the page and I stumbled upon the idea of having hover menu box. I tried and yay!!! got it.Check my vertical hover menu box on the right; for Archive, Blogrolls and previous posts. Again I have avoided the use of javascript. But yeah javascript can be handy.

I will modify it further and need to fix it for other browsers.

lolz.. These CSS, javascript shit is easy .. I guess, they need professionals only coz u need some1 else to devote time :).

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10 Ants in my pants:

Hey, good job! It looks good man. CSS can come in handy, but the problem is the cross browser compatibility. It sucks. All browsers don't handle CSS and Javascript the same. But JS can come in real handy, especially these days, because most browsers support it, and for the most part, handle it pretty much the same way. It would be easier to add a noscript tag and add the line "fuck off and go somewhere else because you don't have javascript enabled, pussy face." LOL. Some people can get real edgy having Javascript enabled.

 
At 12/02/2006 09:41:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

yup, true slimo.. I was worried about cross browser thingy.. but checked in IE7 looks alrite so not going to fix the code.

Yup I know the JS gives so much facility to add features one is tempted too.. .. New browsers are coming with JS compatibility. I avoid JS as long as same thng can be done by HTML :P or CSS.

 
At 12/03/2006 11:30:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

y'know, ur links might come handy with some organisational tangles I'm trying to unsnag in my account...I'll keep u posted...

 
At 12/04/2006 02:39:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

yeah sure .. always there trigger, while u keep me posted dont forget the pay check for every help ...

:D

 
At 12/04/2006 11:00:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

That CSS thingy looks nice.It could look better if it was blue..it'd match the template :P

Okay,just kidding.It's awesome!

 

@ Jay:

Yeah, you're right. It is better to stick to simplicity as much as possible to keep the browser compatibility. Oh, and that green pinstripe background is an eyesore lol. Take it off :P

 
At 12/04/2006 04:48:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

Yeah i know Ish .. would wanted to do that exactly but had already spent lot of time and thgt wd do it later .. aur wo kal fir nahin aaya ..
laziness.

Slimo... Come on that pink strip thng is cool :). tho i was thinking of getting the strips in a different shade.

 

Pink??? I don't see any pink... I must be colorblind :-S

 
At 12/08/2006 12:24:00 AM, Blogger Ish said...

I don't see any pink either.It's still blue.

 
At 12/18/2006 10:46:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Oh yeah there is no Pink :)

umm ok i will change the green stripes .. with somethng else .. like light grey strips

 

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Lessons

After playing three continuous tiring matches and managing to lose in two... I still couldn't sleep early.. been watching a movie..The exam early in the morning was open book (it was an easy paper anyhow)..so that leaves me with the strength to ponder over the lessons learnt so far since yestrday nite.

One,
Never play if u feel u not fully fit 'ND NOT EATEN FOR THAT TWO DAYS.

Two, don't be overconfident.

Three,ignore when they say "fuk off u loser". (forgive them for they know nothing what they are saying)

Four, Don't get tired of the statement "Don't wry,... but u played well" (No matter how much of a sinking feeling it gives.)

Five, Don't think of staying in Uni for another year, So that u can play a few more matches.

Six, Take solace as to wait and watch the response of the chicks who have been watching you. (Arre, Losers impress them more.... personal opinion :P..)

Seven, Blog it and get over it and eat so that you may have the strength to Bash up the dorm mates who r gonna tease you for losing. (Already 8 ppl have asked me since morning... "How can u lose to HAT" :|)

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4 Ants in my pants:

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chics like loosers. dude, i've heard smthg like this for the 1st time.

 
At 12/13/2006 06:07:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

yeah .. 1st for me too.. he he he ...well u gotta impress her with ur game.

 
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Recent Posts


The new address for my blog is http://thejaywalk.blogspot.com/ and its called "The Jaywalk".
The obvious difference is that now it has a much simpler name and URL. The peeping pseudo-intellectualism with the complicated name, has been put to rest.

Yeah! I also have a new template -- which I intend to keep fiddling with. over next two months or  show. I have exported all my previous posts to the new blog. Relief !! ***If I were an effervescent teenager now - I would have said "that is kickass cool!"***

Those, who wanna know the simple steps to shift the blog can look in here >>
"How does she change her dad"

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wtf man!

 

朝著既定的目標走,就不會迷失。 ..................................................

 
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genre: semi fiction

ratings: thumbthumbthumb

disclaimer: This is hardcore and meant to seduce a gamer; for others - about a decade back two nerds gave the world something called "google".

The tension between them was palpable. Silence, prevailed for a while, before he lowered his defenses, tamed his voice, tried to stretch his lips and murmured on the phone,"Sorry yaar ! Ab bola na sorry. I had a presentation to complete last night and that's why I couldn't talk. You know recession, we just can't afford to avoid work!". He looked at The Cross hanging on the wall, constricted his eyebrows, and fluttered his lips silently as if he was trying to say ,"last lie" - and then, he winked. Ever since he has played the Age of Mythology, he thinks appeasement of God is as easy as a click on the mouse. Yesterday's aggressive Atilla the Hun - was a more submissive one today, in front of The Queen. He had always used his sweet innocent voice like those piercing arrows of a brit longbowman or chinese chunokus to pierce the fortified walls of hers.

It was not just a silence from the other end of the phone but a genuine cultural tension between M of a male kind and F of a female kind.

F on the other hand knew it was a Trojan Horse (.. not in that exact term though, yeah! she called it "fake").

"So, did you lose or win?"

"Lost.. no!... I mean in what?"

"Age Of Empire... again.. what else!!" and angrily, she tightly clutched the pen lying in front of her. She disconnected the phone and hugged the pillow instead. She always wanted her Knight in the shining armour but not literally rolleyes.

"darn.. what a turn off!" he looked at the phone in surprise, "Wasn't the Paladin from the imperial age happened to be as charming as one gets!!"

Understanding Mills and Boons philosophy had always presented a great dichotomy in our population. The M of a male kind always thought dark of the "the tall, dark and handsome guy" refers to the color and hence, an Indian male fits the bill (**coughs**).

He rushed back to the mates waiting in the hall, with their eyes glued to the computer screen. An year after college, they were hanging out over a 3 day weekend at M's place.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Dude! you know.. women in the right side of 30 (your spouse or girlfriend) or on the wrong side of 30 (your elder sister or mother) - have never understood why a guy would ignore others for a video game or for that matter a cricket match."

He picked up his beer can and said, "Warriors!! next game - Continental against the Spanish in hardest and fast mode"

Everyone joined the rhetoric and said, "yay!!"

tagPost script from the friendly neighborhood:

Age of the Empire is a popular real time strategy (RTS) game published by Microsoft involving various civilizations and historical events. Well... it's bloody addictive.


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3 Ants in my pants:

At 9/08/2009 11:16:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hate A.O.E

 
At 9/11/2009 07:27:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

I know you so totally do :(

 

jaybert my man!

i miss u guys.. n our AOE nights!!

 

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Jaybert is from Elbonia. Elbonia is a little known fourth world town in the communist Bengal. Elbonia has been famous only because long back a large cache of arms was dropped in its mainland to fight the mindless rule of Communists. However, all the hopes of a great renaissance died when the mighty people of Elbonia decided to use the rocket launchers to tie their cows.

Jaybert has been working in a city in the heart of the communists, disguised as a supply chain expert. Secretly, he works with the brotherhood to overturn the communists one day.

Just about two years ago, Jaybert had joined as a fresh and young graduate in an organization, and worked hard to expand the Supply Chain Operations. He expanded the operations for entire 2 years. He accumulated some net +ve accolades (summation of all the brickbats and accolades). Today, Jaybert has just executed a plan to reduce the warehouse area and make all the processes lean.
Pointy haired Boss - What next?
Jaybert - Do I go beyond and open more warehouses?

Pointy haired Boss - Please, feel free to do so as long as you don't ask for cash.
Jaybert - No Cash!!... ummm.. do I get a permission to go and try to win one of those reality TV competitions. This will get us cash, keep me busy for a few months and no one has to know.

Pointy haired Boss - What are the odds?
Jaybert - Let's say, If I compete as a transvestite with a big rack, in a show called Dancing Queen, I can at least reach the semis without a fight. The other option is to enroll into Big Boss, where the probablity to win the event is high even if someone lacks talent.
Pointy haired Boss - That's TV jazz and is risky too. I would need money to fix you to win the competition.
Jaybert - What do I do then? I don't have work. Are you gonna fire me?

Pointy haired Boss - Not really. I already got Catbert to fire your other colleagues. Who do I boss around? Besides you are too cute to let go.
Someone poking the "pitchspoon" twisted into Jaybert's sordid posterior, by now, goes unnoticed.
Jaybert - hmm.. What should I do?
Pointy haired Boss - There is one guy eligible to ask questions here and that's not you. Besides I pay you to think.
Jaybert - I can do one thing. There were two warehouses I built last year. I can destroy them now. It will take about 6 months and then, we can rebuild it ,which will take another 6 months. So, we get busy for the entire year.

Pointy haired Boss - great! I like it.
While you do it, keep some reasons ready for justification of your actions.
(Apologies to hard core ADAM SCOTT fans, for the shortcomings in the above piece especially the lingo)

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1 Ants in my pants:

At 4/05/2009 05:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

jaybert

 

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Check out this >> Lotsa Lota!

SMS Icon KK and send it to 56882 and vote for Kaushalendra

You do feel proud to be associated with such a person. So many of his batchmates like me, got lured by corporates - He decided against it. He has started "Samriddhi" - which delivers vegetables to the customers in association with vendors and farmers. He has involved every stakeholder in the entire value chain. Foremost he decided to go back to his roots - in Bihar - and pull it off.

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NMTV Personalities of the year are NMMC SCC Sandeep Naik and commissioner Vijay Nahata

He is young, he is suave, he is tech-savvy and he defies the belief that politicians are a gang of good-for-nothings. Exposed to the world of politics at a young age, the younger son of Thane Guardian Minister Ganesh Naik comes from that breed of educated, young politicians that the nation craves for today. His dynamicity as a leader came to the forefront only after he took over as the Standing Committee Chairman of NMMC.

Read more…

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I was fresh out of college armed with a MBA, and was lodged in a plush Mumbai Hotel for the induction into a conglomerate. I had a room partner - Aditya, he was a Kannadiga (IIT + IT sector + overseas stint + MBA). He typified a generation of Super Techies, bred under the carpet revolution which has swept the nation in the past decade. The IT sector in India has been growing immensely, fuelled by outsourcing and some smart leaders like Narayanmurthy and Azim Premji. For many a IITian/NITian/BITian, it was obvious to board the bus.
These super techies were well educated and smart, but the job on offer was comparatively mundane. The money on the other hand was easy, there was lure of overseas stint, and a better quality of corporate life that the new IT companies offered.However, two things happened in this unholy alliance -

1. Soon, with an experience of 2 - 3 yrs they were bored and looking to get the MBAs by cracking things like CAT/GMAT etc.

2. The bored super techie, with ample time/money on hand and an easy tech access - got interested in Online indulgence into the Equity Market and its cousins . No wonder emergence of the online brokerage/penetration of internet/booming economy and the bored Super Techie in an IT company forged an alliance.

Aditya, fell prey to the "obvious second one", stated above; whereas,I was still as non serious as I was two years back (prior to my MBA days). Aditya, in the dinner table would randomly throw a few questions to me like - "given a chance which sector you would bet on?". Then, what would follow was typical MBA global gyan on sectoral growth. Real estate,Retail and Infrastructure would form the core of our discussions. One interesting thing he had revealed to me during such discussions was - his penchant to back companies with strong leaders and an easy way out is - the companies driven by IITians. Thus, he would discuss with me - IndiaBulls, its rise and future growth plans. I was impressed indeed. He would also explain his game plan - The Markets are on the rise and its gonna surge like this for probably next two years - Here is the chance to maximize our gains and then it will be a super neo Hindu growth story.

Its been one year and things have changed since then. I am looking to call him soon and let him know a few of the things that is happening now:

pencil. An erstwhile busy Investment Banker is finding time to comment on my Tagboard. Wackiness of his comments are not at all proportional to "the squeeze" in the market.( Who is etika eek).

pencil. A famous movie from 80s starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas, is going to the editor's table and now the opening trailer would read "Once upon a time in NY, there was a wall street.."

pencil. Top 10 Email Spams: A forwarded email by a colleague of mine is finding a place into the top 10 email Spams. This was an email on the walk-ins for Lehman Employee's by another Investment Bank in India.

pencil. Corporate Bankers: With work, less likely to come by,the city bankers have installed NFS (need for speed) on their comps. No corporate client is likely to walk by, to borrow money at such high interest rates.

pencil. Jaywalking Jay is back to blogging - He has time to sit and fiddle around with his comp. The sudden space has been provided by the decision to cull new retail projects and go slow on spending.

pencil. Super techie Thorny is looking for start-ups. New projects are drying up for the IT biggies. Banking is a big customer.

pencil. My consistent cousin who talks once a year to me had called to say "Hi". During the conversation, he drops in the news of layoffs to be announced by the Steel sector in coming months and how he is wondering what to do. Surely, one option is to pass on the CV to me.

These fretting facts, though from different parts of the world they are, point towards one inevitable truth - The slowdown is here - before than we expected and more monstrous than we have ever seen.

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My Cellphone was incessant. The whole world breaks lose to disturb my beauty sleep, which anyways has long alured me since I moved outta college.

"Hello" A very impatient worried voice replied "Sir, there are people around with flags. Shouting and there is chaos. They want the warehouse shut"

There was no manager available and people down the rung didn't know how to face the adversity.

"Shut it and ask all of the workers to move out. We will start work in the evening"
Sukumar Pal, the Loss Prevention Officer who happened to be the localite, dealt with the crowd and coolly handled the situation. He got the shutters pulled down and sealed. Except for the security everyone was goarded off from the site.

After that, what followed, was an ugly day of phone calls all of which were answered with the explanations on future coarse of action on how deliveries to the stores can't be made today. It's been the second consecutive day of Bandh/strike called by Political parties. It had crippled productivity and to beat the blues, I was getting some work done by shutting the warehouse from outside while inside workers were going bout their work as usual. In the Repacking centre, all women workers had also turned up and production was up to meet the surge in demand and sales in the stores. Only, some localites got a faint idea what was going on inside and soon a crowd gathered there and demanded immediate closure.

Its been an year since I walked out of college and since then its been a roller coaster (..shouldn't I name this article The Rollercoaster Diaries). This wasn't a unique morning, but just a part of series of challenges thrown in past one year while living in THE COMMUNIST BASTION in India - Kolkata.

Only this time, the strike (Bandh) has been called to protest the Price hike in petrochem. The reasons for bandhs don't matter anymore. Every month we are plagued by 2 to three days of strike in this part of the country. The Party ruling the state and the opposition are equally vehement about protests and thats the way they do it - "Jay, the more ya sleep the more ya reap."

You may lose time but your deliverable in modern corporate ain't lowered. At times it frustrates and at times it makes you smile. There is a shining Indian story and there is this part still living with communist ideologies...

... and then there is Jay who can talk about the economics of price hike and inflation..

lol BullShit. "Chalbe Na" Shut the F@#$ up and sleep.

[In this era of celeb blogs - I donno how many are gonna read it. But hey! do gimme credit for a hungry man, who could not pile up his ration before the bandh took effect and all shops were shut, has written it :) ]

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Oh, good to see you back again Jay Bhaiya! This is Ish..deado..you remember? I was wondering where you are..so it's Kolkata now. Situation doesn't seem very good but anyway, how is everything else going? It's great to see you again.

I also wanted to ask another thing, are you still a part of the iBored blog we had? If so, can you please send me another invite to that on this ID with which I'm posting a comment?

 
At 6/17/2008 12:49:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Hey, deado..
yeah been an ardous journey.. Wassup with ya ... live an kicking with a loads of blogging?
.. iBored .. yeah it shows in my dash board .. but i donno if i can invite anyone.. will check it some time.

 

I'm fine, still blogging yeah. Now looking to attend college. What's been up with you?

And don't worry about iBored. We figured it out ourselves.

 
At 8/03/2008 10:13:00 PM, Anonymous ruffles:p said...

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At 8/06/2008 09:26:00 PM, Blogger JAY said...

heyz Ruffles .. ur a sweetheart. Loadz of love.

 
At 8/10/2008 03:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey super-child-prodigy-books-knowledge-know it all-logical explantaion jayyyyy

 

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We had driven hardly for about 15 min., yet it seemed an endlessly painful rock ride. Heavy vehicles would come from the front, flash their lights and we would have a complete blackout. Sitting on the pillion I would wonder how Mannu was able to guide our way into the darkness. Soon, Mannu interrupted my thoughts.

"Can u see anything".
"No"
"Me too'.

I smiled. "Then slow down the bike".

"Ok"

His left feet flicked on the gear peddle and the bike slowed down.

"Arre its too slowwww.." Couldn't complete it. Damn bump dram hump pump. I only had an idea something was going wrong. The front wheel wasn't on the road anymore. Seemed we were sliding down a pit. Suddenly, the body mass of existence flew in air. The laptop that was till now sitting pretty on my back, was suddenly over my head pulling me along.

My palm touched the ground 1st and the cell fone slammed on the flat hard road. (Sehwag's mom had advised to keep the cellphone mutthi mein - not my fault) I wasn't resisting any of these nature's call. I just let it go and with a sommersault I was 6 fts away from the bike. The Laptop was still hanging around though.

Pat - Jay gets up. Pat - he would assess this not the sets of MI2. Pat - Jay thinks he had a friend called Mannu with him.

My wandering eyes fixed on to mannu who was getting up. I started enquiring if everything is alright. He said "Yes, seems so. Look at my face it seems I am hurt around the forehead"

I looked at him, I could see his skull. His forehead had hit a stone and it had split the forehead open with a big cut. I said "nah, its cool. Lets try to get the bike on the road and move on."

Some bystanders helped me to get the bike back on track. I asked them If I could get a medic help somewhere and moved along. They guided us to a nearby engineering College. I enquired Mannu if you wanna go the college hospital and he refused. He was stiched in a small clinic near the college.
They all asked if we were students of the college. I said "oh umm we were, three years back. Now, Mannu teaches there and I have come to meet professors afer a long time".


The whole episode was no less exciting than experiencing . The only regret remained - "the flashlights and cameras around to capture the "somersault" or pretty chicks watching me do the act :(.

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49 Ants in my pants:

Yeah big shame that there was no cameras around .... would have been to see that ;)

Glad you + friend are ok

 

look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site

 
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Recently, I found this wonderful conversation between two of the most wittiest personalities around. May be this exaggerated appreciation is there, because I am fond of Boman Irani and his acting skills.
Cyrus: That’s also how you met Shiamak Davar
Boman: Shiamak is a wonderful, wonderful guy. He had come to my studio. I was taking pictures of him, trying to entertain him with my jokes to put him at ease because he kept saying he was ugly. He came back the next day and said, R 16;You know Boman, you should be on stage.’ He asked me to audition for a small part in Alyque Padamsee’s play “Roshni”… Alyque initially had rejected my audition. Shiamak insisted that he would not choreograph the show if I was not in it and I did the show, I did one song in it.
Cyrus: No offence to Alyque, the play was…
Boman: Go ahead and offend Alyque. It’s okay.
Cyrus: Yes, the play was really bad. And the only good part about the play was the pimp… you.
Boman: Parsi mothers are always very proud of their children. After the show, my mother asked around, ‘Did you like my son?’ They didn’t know who her son was. So she said, ‘The pimp is my son.’ Someone ask ed her if she wanted a lift, and she said, ‘My son will drop me.’ ‘Who will drop you,’ they asked from the other end of the lobby and she went, ‘My son… the… the pimp will drop me. Don’t bother.’
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You’re making fun of my mom by laughing. But yes, growing up in a Parsi family, I’m used to Parsi moms. Every time the dhobi comes, she would go, ‘Tum idhar tehro. Main kapda nikaal ke aati hoon’ (You wai t here. I will remove the clothes and come).
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You are laughing at my mom again. I’m offended. (mockingly)
Cyrus: Tell me about the classic romance. Your wife used to buy only 100gm of chips from your shop everyday.
Boman: Dumb me, I would not understand why she would buy 100gm everyday when she could buy in bulk. And then, it struck me that maybe…
Cyrus: Her version is that you were the one who gave her 100 gm everyday saying that you were not allowed to give more. But we’ll stick to yours.

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"The wings of the plane kissed the terra firma and I woke up to my nervousness of having reached a city,I have never been b4. I slowly made my way outta the airport and found my cabbie waiting for me with a banner in his hand screaming my company's name. I lodged myself in the comfort of the car and soon my cabbie shot,"Wherre to, Sirr?"

"T. Nagar, Sivaji Ganeshan Road"
The smile on the cabbie's face broadens and he pounces on me with a barrage of beamers. " Ganeshaan Sirr.. etc etc etc .... MGR.. me .. Acctorr..." I nodded as if I was as attentative as I was in my biology classes when reproductive system was being explained.
Soon, the cabbie was at his work-lights, Camera,Action-Flassh moves his hands, flassh he folds his sleeves. Flassh he turns it towards me and flassh he points to a tattoo which said MGR.
"..me MGR..Sarr"

lolz lolz lolz.. I rolled my eyes and wondered- the craziness has been underrated.
This is Chennai for yo, me and all.. and its reputation for craziness about movies and movie stars precedes it. Actors like MGR, Sivaji Ganeshan, Kamala Hasan and none otha than Sivaji the Boss have ruled the imagination and fascination of the masses for ever. This is also the city of Balu(Slim), Don and Geela.
The Rest of the day was spent sleeping in the hotel room. (Damn!! was I scared to venture out .. may be I was.) Finally, in the evening, I decided to go out to City centre (its THE Mall here), Shopped, checked out a few gals (it was hard to come by in the ocean of men), browsed through some books in Landmark,ate at KFC and came back.

@ LANDMARK BOOKSTORE and @KFC

While coming back to the hotel, I met Murrugan.. His sweet smile .. finished my day on a colorful note.


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5 Ants in my pants:

ytf didnt u call me ? u crazy ?

 

and who is Geela ? Dont tell me it another one of the flatlickians from the Tennis room ?

 
At 8/09/2007 08:44:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

Ha ha ha I am still here .. i will leave today evening. I lost ur no.

Geela is my dormie and batchmate.

 
At 8/14/2007 12:54:00 PM, Anonymous Ish said...

How are you Jay bhaiya? It's been ages.

 
At 8/15/2007 01:03:00 AM, Blogger JAY said...

I am Koolz Ish.. hope ur doin gr8 too

 

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He is having a jaw of iron, a will of steel, and a heart of gold. He is called Ricky Babloa. He is my neighbor. The legend says there used to be a Sylvester Stallone fictional character in some hollywood series. Ricky's dad was a die hard fan of the movie. He would throng the local theater every month to have a glimpse of his favorite character. "baba wo maar waala picture aaya kya? baba lo.. jaa maar dey!!" [friend are they showing that action packed movie.... oh my!! he shows such stunts..]
The awe which had gripped him was palpable to the life forms which surrounded him. No wonder when a son was born to his passive wife .. he decided to name him after his GOD.

RICKY BABLOA.

this was as close as he cud get to Ricky Balboa. Now, Ricky Babloa is a grown up young man and his physique would put his nameshake to shame. He is a towering 5 feet and is heavier than thy (prolly 45kgs). Whenever, I am back home he comes to visit me. We share a lot of information amongst each other. Now a days he is busy imitating some Bangladeshi folksinger. He painted his face and performed exactly like it was done by the originally artist. Later, I found it in youtube too. The Dayal Baba phenomenon.In deep roots of India people get more joy out of a Dayal Baba from Bangladesh than a Younis Khan (the nobel peace prize winner), Taslima (lajja etc etc) or Monica Ali(a booker prize winner for Brick Lane).
When it was my turn to share something with him. I couldn't resist but to tell him everything he always wanted to know about sex, and also, to rekindle his dad's movie mania we sat together to watch Woody Allen's first blockbuster. Ricky Babloa almost died of a laugh riot when the 2nd story in the movie started. It went on like this :

attach An Old Armenian guy visits a doctor. Doctor asks, " what is your problem?"
"Doctor, I am in love with a sheep". "A what..!!" "A sheep".

Doc is in shock he is just unable to utter any word. After a while he musters all his energy and patiently says," umm I see".

The Armenian guy, "U see doctor, in the heights of those Armenian Mountains. No body is out there. At times it gets lonely and I am not married. That night I was feeling so low and there she was .. so beautiful .. so serene.. soothing me.."

The doc," the sheep!!" ...." Yes, The Sheep" and the Arenian Continued,"I cudn't resist myself doctor.. I made love to her and it was the best sex I ever Had".

The Doc,"ok. So what is the problem?"
"You see Doc.. now, she no longer loves me.. I Can feel it .. It hurts. She no longer wants me, after so many nights together... It breaks my heart.. You have to do something about it doctor. My brother says you are Great. You treated him. I know no one else. you have to do it." And he rushes to bring the sheep in the clinic. Doc kept yelling behind his back... "stop, don't do that.. I am not a veterinarian."

But the sheep is brought in and doctor checks it and falls in love with the sheep.
Later, the doc's wife divorces him for adultery.

As soon as this story was over Ricky Babloa got up and said that he gotta get back to his home. I said that he should wait coz the movie ain't over yet. Ricky Babloa said, "My dad is alone in home, I gotta go fast".

I said, "oh! Is he sick?" He said,"No!!!.. I have 12 sheeps".

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