Jay's oeuvre

A bit of jazz in blog, however, falls tremendously short of being a musical

To Tie a Knot.. not not.
Sunday, April 29, 2007

A few years back when a friend of mine had flippantly mentioned that the sole pupose of walking the world for such agonizingly long yrs is to produce and leave ur heir; I argued hard against it. Today however, I have been into circumstances that I have started more than believing in it. The whole world is crumbling around me.
80% of my B.Tech mates are married now. Some of them have children :O. Done and dusted..A month back we finished our post grad. and about 20% of the nerds took the plunge as soon as the agony of 2 yrs ended. Phoney, Cole, Anush, Daga.. and the list goes on. I came back and been resting at home.. but signs from the almighty doesnt blip for a second. For continuous two weeks all they would flash on TV is some Celeb Marriage. An Abhishek married an Aishwarya. An Arun Nayar married some Liz Hurley. People say this Liz. and Aish are beautiful women. I smile and shrugg my shoulders.
But, the occult wisdom of the mother earth doesn't stop revealing itself here. As I was back, I visited some of my school friends' families. All they talked about is Marriage-marriage-marriage. Being in the wrong side of 25 is an awesome torture for single males here in India. So, there is this aunt whom, I have been advising on her family matters since, I was in class 8th. her son studied with me for 8 yrs in school. Now, her son is working in an engineering corporation and people r bugging her to get his son married of.. All she did was to discuss the marriage proposals with me.. " THis person has got 3 daughters and 3 sons and he owns 6 small diagnostic centres. Do u thnk he would be able to give enough (read dowry)... afterall I need all the expenses covered up...".

Court. copulate and produce.

My mailbox has started receiving excessive spams of viagra and cialis ads. When it rains it really pains :((.
I am trying to shield myself away from all such alliance tendencies but as i finish this post real fast... someone has just handed a marriage invitation card to me.
(I wanted to add so many things but, in cafe, I can't concentrate and the end result is such a poor post... anyways.)

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Wolf - at witz' end
Sunday, April 22, 2007

Ur sorroundings influence you. It does Indeed. My uncle has been a small time political activist (He was fighting the communists.. ). With our constant effort he finallyu distanced himself from all political affiliations.. All?. That's what we thought. But chor chori se jaaye sheena zori se na jaaye. (which means no matter where and how u put Richard Gere, he will create a kissing story out of it ;).. why the fuk did they vote him the sexiest man.. If they did .. tell him since then, a lot of water has flown down the bridge and .. people like Brad pitt and George Clooney have come and gone).. Back to the subject. So this uncle of mine is taking a bed rest for three months coz an accident. Now all his aquaintances come to the house and discuss, politics and business (rn't they synonymous :-?). 24x7.
So it has rubbed on to me, I've gotten into politics and I picked up this news about Wolfowitz. Sounds NAZI.. Nah re. Infact, he is a Jew. President of World Bank. Served in the defence deptt. All the sleazy CV points.
So, this guy is on the news coz of the nepotism he has indulged in. Now, there is an Indian connection to it. Bush made him the president of World Bank to clease corruption. All the presidents of the World Bank have to be Americans .. So, much for the proponents of democracy (rolls his eyes).
So, a man on a mission sends a troupe of lawyers to India to check the corruption in the Health Sector fundings. They summon our Finance Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and wanted to interrogate him .. phewww. The FinMin refused to talk to anyone except their leader ( I guess it was Shaha Riza herself (correct me, if I m wrong). Pissed off. They all went back and recommonded the blockade of all funds to India's Health Mission. And it got Blocked. Some people still treat the third world as their colonies.
Now, its time for Mr. Wolf to answer. He has been charged with showing extra favors to Shaha Riza and had granted her extra powers. Hi hi hi ... ho ho ho... Maza Aaaya

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The Return of Prodigal Son
Saturday, April 14, 2007

Once upon a time there was a king. He ruled an empire which was fast losing its shine and energy. It seemed to be falling down in the dumps. The king would spend time playing chess with a machine, a new technology which was brought to him from an alien land. The machine was referred to by the messenger from far west as the computer. The frustration of not being able to beat the silly machine never got on to the king and he played chess endlessly.

His queen, the mighty woman who stayed with him in his thick and thin would go by the day’s rituals patiently. She would cook, wash and express her dissatisfaction over the shitty work the housekeeper does. Often, to break the monotone she would complain to the King to move to the nearby summer capital Ranchi (also a hill station). The king would brush aside all such expectations. The king was too happy to live in the heat and mistreat, that his castle would bring to him. He in fact wanted to add one more floor to the magnanimity, he called his castle.Why not? He so dearly himself designed the castle.

Designing was one of his old passions. When his fellow princes would go to hunting he would sketch towers on his drawing board. Only now (he is not a public servant anymore) that designing doesn’t earn him any revenue, else he owes his complete pension fund to an engineers' work. Even today people come and ask to design their houses, but they no more pay him and take it for granted, considering it a genuine help the King is willing to offer selflessly. The cost of such a service has surpassed the goodwill it generates. The new machine that his prince had once introduced to him is a wily old creature in designing too, however; the king hates such mechanical interference in his work.

More often than not he finds himself indulging in “remote fights” with his queen.(Its both fighting for the remote control of television and fighting from a distance). Ask him to look 6 yrs back, and he would laugh; ‘cause then he used to tease his lovely queen about the crappy soaps she used to watch. Now, he himself has fallen prey to the web that these family dramas spin. Slaves inform us that they often get bored watching each other and arguments or little fights are just a pass time.

Recently, the queen has seen a buzz in her feet. The King has renovated his castle and pruned all the bushes in his garden, that he created by himself. They say their son is returning home triumphantly from the battlefield. The king took his old chariot, an old and legendary white ambassador, to the station to pick him up. After a bit of tom toming, the charioteer brought everyone home safely.

The prince, excited at the plans he had for his mother was brimming with happiness. He opened the gates and rushed towards his mom. He touched his mom's feet and hugged her. Sigh. Its been two years.

The prince picked her up in his arms and started dancing. The words of Led Zepp’s whole lotta love started ringing in his head. Before he could sing baby you need cooling.., the queen’s eyes lit up in excitement. She saw the companions of the prince in the chariot. There was this little niece of the prince who had come along with him. The queen rushed towards the kid and picked him in her arms. Then she yelled “Say hello grandma”.

The prince thinks … oh! There goes my share of love. Then he turns back and looks at the kid and smiles.

The prince is played by your own Jay. The King is his dear dad and the almighty queen is his mom.

Though the prince couldn’t sing the Led Zepp number; he soon would and he would don a 70s show attire and would belt the guitar and would record it and sing...

You need cooling.
Baby I am not fooling
I am gonna send ya back to schooling
Way way inside, honey you need
I am gonna give u my love
I am gonna give u my love

yeeey
Whole lotta love
Whole lotta love

(Imagine, you singing this to a middle aged Indian housewife who doesn't even know there is world of rock that exists in the same planet..)

Foot note: By the time Jay posted this on his blog.....King's affection for his son was on a wane...and was back to doing his disciplinarian act like scolding for sleeping till 10 in the morning, not taking a bath till 1 pm ..taking his lunch very late and yeah! not shutting his Laptop.

But, you know Jay ..right?.. Like father like son ... Old Habits die hard.mrgreen

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Smoke on the water
Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Crap on the water: This post was supposed to be titled "O Jay, Where art thou ? - part II". I realized (not so soon) that before I posted "O Jay, where art thou - part I" (last post), one of the notorious bloggers in the blogspace called Lizze had already posted with a similar title "O Michael, Where art thou". You may argue that replacing Michael with Jay makes it more spicy (puts a face biting its tongue) but it will also make me charter in troubled waters. This woman (supposedly) is becoming an American from a Londoner(prolly) and thus, the chance of her suing me for copyright violation has increased. I may do a Kaavya Vishwanathan and argue that I prolly derived the name subconsciously from a movie which goes by the name "O Brother, where art thou"; but trust me, it doesn't help. They all believe what they wanna believe (puts a sad face).



(please, increase the volume)


Smoke on the water: This wasn't supposed to be the arbitrary display that u just read in the prologue.(Lizze may just kill me for all that). It was supposed to be classical, non funny and tasteless essay.
The March heat was on. While all the students had gone back home or were holidaying, there were two guys, Lota ji and Nirmal babu still entrapped within the red walls of the college making charts, cracking data and calling important people to make the ends meet. These no non-sense guys were agribusiness management students and had declined big bucks for entrepreneurship. They were working on several projects simultaneously. This all had started when The Chief Minister of Bihar (a state), Mr. Nitish Kumar visited the campus last year. Several students presented projects to uplift the state and were willing to work there. The Minister gave a go ahead. They made a support group comprising the students. Each student would pursue his own project while the support group would provide consultancy and take a hit if one of the students fails in his venture. The ideas ranged from Rural Radio, Retail chain, Insurance plan for Rickshaw pullers, Extracting Ethanol from corn to various consultancy projects for the government. A lot of them are already on its way. Some of the national news channels splashed a one hour documentary on it. The word spread. Venture capitalists, Consultants and supporters from various parts of the country, USA and Europe started calling these people. Now, Nirmal babu says proudly "we won't need Bank Loans. Money is not a constraint. Not for me, not for you and not for any frog who wants to jump out of the well".
Energy rubs on me and I kept wondering, for the past two years where was I and what was I doing "O Jay, Where art thou".
Down South Goa. under a full moon and a clean sky, Jay was sipping wine on the beach along with his friends Medha, Danko, KG, Tiru and Jhade Singh. Jay was singing raunchy Bhojpuri songs one after the other and people were egging him on.
Medha: "abe! gaana aur suna na" (sing me a song) Jhade Sigh: " Do u remember e guddi".
Jay: " O yea, E Guddi.. arre ye Guddi!! aaa Khele chorwa sipaiyya"
"Banhiya mein dhar ke raja....(censored.)"

Jhade Singh was dancing and singing alongwith me. Jhade Singh completed his graduation last year and he himself had declined a good job offer to open "chain of spa and wellness centre" with Hukka. Last year, there were about 6 people who had decided to go on their own, this year there are 11. This year, there are several portals made by some of the students which have become huge hits. Among them "CRICSTOCK" (mixture of Cricket and stocks trading) and "10 a day" (a portal for CAT preparation)". Rights of publishing some material on cricstock was sold within months to a national news channel (NDTV.com). The deal ranged in Lakhs. Does it sound like the youtube story? My own baddie partner Paro had a plan in place for "becoming a supplier of a women's inner wear brand" (wipe off that smile), which will cater to somewhere between the high end and low end customer. Her pic was splashed in the cover page of national magazine. Imagine what kind of peer pressure it exerts on other people. Another friend dearly called Hilao, declined a Lehman Brother's offer because he wanted to indulge in real estate.
All these things don't demoralize me but make me proud. After all when a college is branded Harvard of India or the Best B-school in Asia-Pac, it has to shoulder responsibilities and produce entrepreneurs. So what, if people like Jay chose easy way out by working for some one else .

Well wait... Jay has a plan in place too . U may just hear what he is planing to do soon. So, wait and meanwhile stop wondering, y does the post has a title smoke on the water. Its cryptic.. he he he.

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