Jay's oeuvre

Blog shift: The Milkman has a new Address

2009-11-22T14:08:00.001+05:30

The new address for my blog is http://thejaywalk.blogspot.com/ and its called "The Jaywalk".

The obvious difference is that now it has a much simpler name and URL. The peeping pseudo-intellectualism with the complicated name, has been put to rest.

Yeah! I also have a new template -- which I intend to keep fiddling with. over next two months or show. I have exported all my previous posts to the new blog. Relief !! ***If I were an effervescent teenager now - I would have said "that is kickass cool!"***

Those, who wanna know the simple steps to shift the blog can look in here >>

"How does she change her dad"

The Game Theory

2009-08-26T21:13:00.026+05:30

genre: semi fiction

ratings:

disclaimer: This is hardcore and meant to seduce a gamer; for others - about a decade back two nerds gave the world something called "google".

The tension between them was palpable. Silence, prevailed for a while, before he lowered his defenses, tamed his voice, tried to stretch his lips and murmured on the phone,"Sorry yaar ! Ab bola na sorry. I had a presentation to complete last night and that's why I couldn't talk. You know recession, we just can't afford to avoid work!". He looked at The Cross hanging on the wall, constricted his eyebrows, and fluttered his lips silently as if he was trying to say ,"last lie" - and then, he winked. Ever since he has played the Age of Mythology, he thinks appeasement of God is as easy as a click on the mouse. Yesterday's aggressive Atilla the Hun - was a more submissive one today, in front of The Queen. He had always used his sweet innocent voice like those piercing arrows of a brit longbowman or chinese chunokus to pierce the fortified walls of hers.

It was not just a silence from the other end of the phone but a genuine cultural tension between M of a male kind and F of a female kind.

F on the other hand knew it was a Trojan Horse (.. not in that exact term though, yeah! she called it "fake").

"So, did you lose or win?"

"Lost.. no!... I mean in what?"

"Age Of Empire... again.. what else!!" and angrily, she tightly clutched the pen lying in front of her. She disconnected the phone and hugged the pillow instead. She always wanted her Knight in the shining armour but not literally .

"darn.. what a turn off!" he looked at the phone in surprise, "Wasn't the Paladin from the imperial age happened to be as charming as one gets!!"

Understanding Mills and Boons philosophy had always presented a great dichotomy in our population. The M of a male kind always thought dark of the "the tall, dark and handsome guy" refers to the color and hence, an Indian male fits the bill (**coughs**).

He rushed back to the mates waiting in the hall, with their eyes glued to the computer screen. An year after college, they were hanging out over a 3 day weekend at M's place.

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Dude! you know.. women in the right side of 30 (your spouse or girlfriend) or on the wrong side of 30 (your elder sister or mother) - have never understood why a guy would ignore others for a video game or for that matter a cricket match."

He picked up his beer can and said, "Warriors!! next game - Continental against the Spanish in hardest and fast mode"

Everyone joined the rhetoric and said, "yay!!"

Post script from the friendly neighborhood:

Age of the Empire is a popular real time strategy (RTS) game published by Microsoft involving various civilizations and historical events. Well... it's bloody addictive.

Jaybert

2009-04-05T03:25:00.003+05:30

Jaybert is from Elbonia. Elbonia is a little known fourth world town in the communist Bengal. Elbonia has been famous only because long back a large cache of arms was dropped in its mainland to fight the mindless rule of Communists. However, all the hopes of a great renaissance died when the mighty people of Elbonia decided to use the rocket launchers to tie their cows.

Jaybert has been working in a city in the heart of the communists, disguised as a supply chain expert. Secretly, he works with the brotherhood to overturn the communists one day.

Just about two years ago, Jaybert had joined as a fresh and young graduate in an organization, and worked hard to expand the Supply Chain Operations. He expanded the operations for entire 2 years. He accumulated some net +ve accolades (summation of all the brickbats and accolades). Today, Jaybert has just executed a plan to reduce the warehouse area and make all the processes lean.

Pointy haired Boss - What next?
Jaybert - Do I go beyond and open more warehouses?

Pointy haired Boss - Please, feel free to do so as long as you don't ask for cash.
Jaybert - No Cash!!... ummm.. do I get a permission to go and try to win one of those reality TV competitions. This will get us cash, keep me busy for a few months and no one has to know.

Pointy haired Boss - What are the odds?
Jaybert - Let's say, If I compete as a transvestite with a big rack, in a show called Dancing Queen, I can at least reach the semis without a fight. The other option is to enroll into Big Boss, where the probablity to win the event is high even if someone lacks talent.
Pointy haired Boss - That's TV jazz and is risky too. I would need money to fix you to win the competition.
Jaybert - What do I do then? I don't have work. Are you gonna fire me?

Pointy haired Boss - Not really. I already got Catbert to fire your other colleagues. Who do I boss around? Besides you are too cute to let go.
Someone poking the "pitchspoon" into Jaybert's sordid posterior, by now, goes unnoticed.
Jaybert - hmm.. What should I do?
Pointy haired Boss - There is one guy eligible to ask questions here and that's not you. Besides I pay you to think.
Jaybert - I can do one thing. There were two warehouses I built last year. I can destroy them now. It will take about 6 months and then, we can rebuild it ,which will take another 6 months. So, we get busy for the entire year.

Pointy haired Boss - great! I like it.
While you do it, keep some reasons ready for justification of your actions.

(Apologies to hard core ADAM SCOTT fans, for the shortcomings in the above piece especially the lingo)

MTV youth Icon of the Year

2008-11-11T18:14:00.005+05:30

Check out this >> Lotsa Lota!

SMS Icon KK and send it to 56882 and vote for Kaushalendra

You do feel proud to be associated with such a person. So many of his batchmates like me, got lured by corporates - He decided against it. He has started "Samriddhi" - which delivers vegetables to the customers in association with vendors and farmers. He has involved every stakeholder in the entire value chain. Foremost he decided to go back to his roots - in Bihar - and pull it off.

The Bear Hug: Signs of Economic Downturn

2008-09-21T10:05:00.018+05:30

I was fresh out of college armed with a MBA, and was lodged in a plush Mumbai Hotel for the induction into a conglomerate. I had a room partner - Aditya, he was a Kannadiga (IIT + IT sector + overseas stint + MBA). He typified a generation of Super Techies, bred under the carpet revolution which has swept the nation in the past decade. The IT sector in India has been growing immensely, fuelled by outsourcing and some smart leaders like Narayanmurthy and Azim Premji. For many a IITian/NITian/BITian, it was obvious to board the bus.
These super techies were well educated and smart, but the job on offer was comparatively mundane. The money on the other hand was easy, there was lure of overseas stint, and a better quality of corporate life that the new IT companies offered.However, two things happened in this unholy alliance -

1. Soon, with an experience of 2 - 3 yrs they were bored and looking to get the MBAs by cracking things like CAT/GMAT etc.

2. The bored super techie, with ample time/money on hand and an easy tech access - got interested in Online indulgence into the Equity Market and its cousins . No wonder emergence of the online brokerage/penetration of internet/booming economy and the bored Super Techie in an IT company forged an alliance.

Aditya, fell prey to the "obvious second one", stated above; whereas,I was still as non serious as I was two years back (prior to my MBA days). Aditya, in the dinner table would randomly throw a few questions to me like - "given a chance which sector you would bet on?". Then, what would follow was typical MBA global gyan on sectoral growth. Real estate,Retail and Infrastructure would form the core of our discussions. One interesting thing he had revealed to me during such discussions was - his penchant to back companies with strong leaders and an easy way out is - the companies driven by IITians. Thus, he would discuss with me - IndiaBulls, its rise and future growth plans. I was impressed indeed. He would also explain his game plan - The Markets are on the rise and its gonna surge like this for probably next two years - Here is the chance to maximize our gains and then it will be a super neo Hindu growth story.

Its been one year and things have changed since then. I am looking to call him soon and let him know a few of the things that is happening now:

. An erstwhile busy Investment Banker is finding time to comment on my Tagboard. Wackiness of his comments are not at all proportional to "the squeeze" in the market.( Who is etika ).

. A famous movie from 80s starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas, is going to the editor's table and now the opening trailer would read "Once upon a time in NY, there was a wall street.."

. Top 10 Email Spams: A forwarded email by a colleague of mine is finding a place into the top 10 email Spams. This was an email on the walk-ins for Lehman Employee's by another Investment Bank in India.

. Corporate Bankers: With work, less likely to come by,the city bankers have installed NFS (need for speed) on their comps. No corporate client is likely to walk by, to borrow money at such high interest rates.

. Jaywalking Jay is back to blogging - He has time to sit and fiddle around with his comp. The sudden space has been provided by the decision to cull new retail projects and go slow on spending.

. Super techie Thorny is looking for start-ups. New projects are drying up for the IT biggies. Banking is a big customer.

. My consistent cousin who talks once a year to me had called to say "Hi". During the conversation, he drops in the news of layoffs to be announced by the Steel sector in coming months and how he is wondering what to do. Surely, one option is to pass on the CV to me.

These fretting facts, though from different parts of the world they are, point towards one inevitable truth - The slowdown is here - before than we expected and more monstrous than we have ever seen.

My Motorcycle Diaries.

2008-06-08T14:29:00.007+05:30

My Cellphone was incessant. The whole world breaks lose to disturb my beauty sleep, which anyways has long alured me since I moved outta college.

"Hello" A very impatient worried voice replied "Sir, there are people around with flags. Shouting and there is chaos. They want the warehouse shut"

There was no manager available and people down the rung didn't know how to face the adversity.

"Shut it and ask all of the workers to move out. We will start work in the evening"

Sukumar Pal, the Loss Prevention Officer who happened to be the localite, dealt with the crowd and coolly handled the situation. He got the shutters pulled down and sealed. Except for the security everyone was goarded off from the site.

After that, what followed, was an ugly day of phone calls all of which were answered with the explanations on future coarse of action on how deliveries to the stores can't be made today. It's been the second consecutive day of Bandh/strike called by Political parties. It had crippled productivity and to beat the blues, I was getting some work done by shutting the warehouse from outside while inside workers were going bout their work as usual. In the Repacking centre, all women workers had also turned up and production was up to meet the surge in demand and sales in the stores. Only, some localites got a faint idea what was going on inside and soon a crowd gathered there and demanded immediate closure.

Its been an year since I walked out of college and since then its been a roller coaster (..shouldn't I name this article The Rollercoaster Diaries). This wasn't a unique morning, but just a part of series of challenges thrown in past one year while living in THE COMMUNIST BASTION in India - Kolkata.

Only this time, the strike (Bandh) has been called to protest the Price hike in petrochem. The reasons for bandhs don't matter anymore. Every month we are plagued by 2 to three days of strike in this part of the country. The Party ruling the state and the opposition are equally vehement about protests and thats the way they do it - "Jay, the more ya sleep the more ya reap."

You may lose time but your deliverable in modern corporate ain't lowered. At times it frustrates and at times it makes you smile. There is a shining Indian story and there is this part still living with communist ideologies...

... and then there is Jay who can talk about the economics of price hike and inflation..

lol BullShit. "Chalbe Na" Shut the F@#$ up and sleep.

[In this era of celeb blogs - I donno how many are gonna read it. But hey! do gimme credit for a hungry man, who could not pile up his ration before the bandh took effect and all shops were shut, has written it :) ]

Mannu Bhai Motor Chali pom pom.

2007-10-21T13:42:00.000+05:30

We had driven hardly for about 15 min., yet it seemed an endlessly painful rock ride. Heavy vehicles would come from the front, flash their lights and we would have a complete blackout. Sitting on the pillion I would wonder how Mannu was able to guide our way into the darkness. Soon, Mannu interrupted my thoughts.

"Can u see anything".
"No"
"Me too'.

I smiled. "Then slow down the bike".

"Ok"

His left feet flicked on the gear peddle and the bike slowed down.

"Arre its too slowwww.." Couldn't complete it. Damn bump dram hump pump. I only had an idea something was going wrong. The front wheel wasn't on the road anymore. Seemed we were sliding down a pit. Suddenly, the body mass of existence flew in air. The laptop that was till now sitting pretty on my back, was suddenly over my head pulling me along.

My palm touched the ground 1st and the cell fone slammed on the flat hard road. (Sehwag's mom had advised to keep the cellphone mutthi mein - not my fault) I wasn't resisting any of these nature's call. I just let it go and with a sommersault I was 6 fts away from the bike. The Laptop was still hanging around though.

Pat - Jay gets up. Pat - he would assess this not the sets of MI2. Pat - Jay thinks he had a friend called Mannu with him.

My wandering eyes fixed on to mannu who was getting up. I started enquiring if everything is alright. He said "Yes, seems so. Look at my face it seems I am hurt around the forehead"

I looked at him, I could see his skull. His forehead had hit a stone and it had split the forehead open with a big cut. I said "nah, its cool. Lets try to get the bike on the road and move on."

Some bystanders helped me to get the bike back on track. I asked them If I could get a medic help somewhere and moved along. They guided us to a nearby engineering College. I enquired Mannu if you wanna go the college hospital and he refused. He was stiched in a small clinic near the college.

They all asked if we were students of the college. I said "oh umm we were, three years back. Now, Mannu teaches there and I have come to meet professors afer a long time".

The whole episode was no less exciting than experiencing . The only regret remained - "the flashlights and cameras around to capture the "somersault" or pretty chicks watching me do the act :(.

BO-MAN: Our Friendly Neighbourhood

2007-08-19T13:21:00.000+05:30

Recently, I found this wonderful conversation between two of the most wittiest personalities around. May be this exaggerated appreciation is there, because I am fond of Boman Irani and his acting skills.

Cyrus: That’s also how you met Shiamak Davar

Boman: Shiamak is a wonderful, wonderful guy. He had come to my studio. I was taking pictures of him, trying to entertain him with my jokes to put him at ease because he kept saying he was ugly. He came back the next day and said, R 16;You know Boman, you should be on stage.’ He asked me to audition for a small part in Alyque Padamsee’s play “Roshni”… Alyque initially had rejected my audition. Shiamak insisted that he would not choreograph the show if I was not in it and I did the show, I did one song in it.
Cyrus: No offence to Alyque, the play was…
Boman: Go ahead and offend Alyque. It’s okay.
Cyrus: Yes, the play was really bad. And the only good part about the play was the pimp… you.
Boman: Parsi mothers are always very proud of their children. After the show, my mother asked around, ‘Did you like my son?’ They didn’t know who her son was. So she said, ‘The pimp is my son.’ Someone ask ed her if she wanted a lift, and she said, ‘My son will drop me.’ ‘Who will drop you,’ they asked from the other end of the lobby and she went, ‘My son… the… the pimp will drop me. Don’t bother.’
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You’re making fun of my mom by laughing. But yes, growing up in a Parsi family, I’m used to Parsi moms. Every time the dhobi comes, she would go, ‘Tum idhar tehro. Main kapda nikaal ke aati hoon’ (You wai t here. I will remove the clothes and come).
Cyrus: (laughs)
Boman: You are laughing at my mom again. I’m offended. (mockingly)
Cyrus: Tell me about the classic romance. Your wife used to buy only 100gm of chips from your shop everyday.
Boman: Dumb me, I would not understand why she would buy 100gm everyday when she could buy in bulk. And then, it struck me that maybe…
Cyrus: Her version is that you were the one who gave her 100 gm everyday saying that you were not allowed to give more. But we’ll stick to yours.

Meeting Murrrugan.

2007-08-07T10:11:00.001+05:30

"The wings of the plane kissed the terra firma and I woke up to my nervousness of having reached a city,I have never been b4. I slowly made my way outta the airport and found my cabbie waiting for me with a banner in his hand screaming my company's name. I lodged myself in the comfort of the car and soon my cabbie shot,"Wherre to, Sirr?"

"T. Nagar, Sivaji Ganeshan Road"

The smile on the cabbie's face broadens and he pounces on me with a barrage of beamers. " Ganeshaan Sirr.. etc etc etc .... MGR.. me .. Acctorr..." I nodded as if I was as attentative as I was in my biology classes when reproductive system was being explained.

Soon, the cabbie was at his work-lights, Camera,Action-Flassh moves his hands, flassh he folds his sleeves. Flassh he turns it towards me and flassh he points to a tattoo which said MGR.

"..me MGR..Sarr"

lolz lolz lolz.. I rolled my eyes and wondered- the craziness has been underrated.

This is Chennai for yo, me and all.. and its reputation for craziness about movies and movie stars precedes it. Actors like MGR, Sivaji Ganeshan, Kamala Hasan and none otha than Sivaji the Boss have ruled the imagination and fascination of the masses for ever. This is also the city of Balu(Slim), Don and Geela.

The Rest of the day was spent sleeping in the hotel room. (Damn!! was I scared to venture out .. may be I was.) Finally, in the evening, I decided to go out to City centre (its THE Mall here), Shopped, checked out a few gals (it was hard to come by in the ocean of men), browsed through some books in Landmark,ate at KFC and came back.

@ LANDMARK BOOKSTORE and @KFC

While coming back to the hotel, I met Murrugan.. His sweet smile .. finished my day on a colorful note.

My Ricky Babloa as Dayal Baba

2007-05-04T15:11:00.000+05:30

He is having a jaw of iron, a will of steel, and a heart of gold. He is called Ricky Babloa. He is my neighbor. The legend says there used to be a Sylvester Stallone fictional character in some hollywood series. Ricky's dad was a die hard fan of the movie. He would throng the local theater every month to have a glimpse of his favorite character. "baba wo maar waala picture aaya kya? baba lo.. jaa maar dey!!" [friend are they showing that action packed movie.... oh my!! he shows such stunts..]

The awe which had gripped him was palpable to the life forms which surrounded him. No wonder when a son was born to his passive wife .. he decided to name him after his GOD.

RICKY BABLOA.

this was as close as he cud get to Ricky Balboa. Now, Ricky Babloa is a grown up young man and his physique would put his nameshake to shame. He is a towering 5 feet and is heavier than thy (prolly 45kgs). Whenever, I am back home he comes to visit me. We share a lot of information amongst each other. Now a days he is busy imitating some Bangladeshi folksinger. He painted his face and performed exactly like it was done by the originally artist. Later, I found it in youtube too. The Dayal Baba phenomenon.In deep roots of India people get more joy out of a Dayal Baba from Bangladesh than a Younis Khan (the nobel peace prize winner), Taslima (lajja etc etc) or Monica Ali(a booker prize winner for Brick Lane).
When it was my turn to share something with him. I couldn't resist but to tell him everything he always wanted to know about sex, and also, to rekindle his dad's movie mania we sat together to watch Woody Allen's first blockbuster. Ricky Babloa almost died of a laugh riot when the 2nd story in the movie started. It went on like this :

An Old Armenian guy visits a doctor. Doctor asks, " what is your problem?"
"Doctor, I am in love with a sheep". "A what..!!" "A sheep".

Doc is in shock he is just unable to utter any word. After a while he musters all his energy and patiently says," umm I see".

The Armenian guy, "U see doctor, in the heights of those Armenian Mountains. No body is out there. At times it gets lonely and I am not married. That night I was feeling so low and there she was .. so beautiful .. so serene.. soothing me.."

The doc," the sheep!!" ...." Yes, The Sheep" and the Arenian Continued,"I cudn't resist myself doctor.. I made love to her and it was the best sex I ever Had".

The Doc,"ok. So what is the problem?"
"You see Doc.. now, she no longer loves me.. I Can feel it .. It hurts. She no longer wants me, after so many nights together... It breaks my heart.. You have to do something about it doctor. My brother says you are Great. You treated him. I know no one else. you have to do it." And he rushes to bring the sheep in the clinic. Doc kept yelling behind his back... "stop, don't do that.. I am not a veterinarian."

But the sheep is brought in and doctor checks it and falls in love with the sheep.
Later, the doc's wife divorces him for adultery.

As soon as this story was over Ricky Babloa got up and said that he gotta get back to his home. I said that he should wait coz the movie ain't over yet. Ricky Babloa said, "My dad is alone in home, I gotta go fast".

I said, "oh! Is he sick?" He said,"No!!!.. I have 12 sheeps".

To Tie a Knot.. not not.

2007-04-29T19:22:00.000+05:30

A few years back when a friend of mine had flippantly mentioned that the sole pupose of walking the world for such agonizingly long yrs is to produce and leave ur heir; I argued hard against it. Today however, I have been into circumstances that I have started more than believing in it. The whole world is crumbling around me.

80% of my B.Tech mates are married now. Some of them have children :O. Done and dusted..A month back we finished our post grad. and about 20% of the nerds took the plunge as soon as the agony of 2 yrs ended. Phoney, Cole, Anush, Daga.. and the list goes on. I came back and been resting at home.. but signs from the almighty doesnt blip for a second. For continuous two weeks all they would flash on TV is some Celeb Marriage. An Abhishek married an Aishwarya. An Arun Nayar married some Liz Hurley. People say this Liz. and Aish are beautiful women. I smile and shrugg my shoulders.

But, the occult wisdom of the mother earth doesn't stop revealing itself here. As I was back, I visited some of my school friends' families. All they talked about is Marriage-marriage-marriage. Being in the wrong side of 25 is an awesome torture for single males here in India. So, there is this aunt whom, I have been advising on her family matters since, I was in class 8th. her son studied with me for 8 yrs in school. Now, her son is working in an engineering corporation and people r bugging her to get his son married of.. All she did was to discuss the marriage proposals with me.. " THis person has got 3 daughters and 3 sons and he owns 6 small diagnostic centres. Do u thnk he would be able to give enough (read dowry)... afterall I need all the expenses covered up...".

Court. copulate and produce.

My mailbox has started receiving excessive spams of viagra and cialis ads. When it rains it really pains :((.

I am trying to shield myself away from all such alliance tendencies but as i finish this post real fast... someone has just handed a marriage invitation card to me.

(I wanted to add so many things but, in cafe, I can't concentrate and the end result is such a poor post... anyways.)

Wolf - at witz' end

2007-04-22T20:09:00.000+05:30

Ur sorroundings influence you. It does Indeed. My uncle has been a small time political activist (He was fighting the communists.. ). With our constant effort he finallyu distanced himself from all political affiliations.. All?. That's what we thought. But chor chori se jaaye sheena zori se na jaaye. (which means no matter where and how u put Richard Gere, he will create a kissing story out of it ;).. why the fuk did they vote him the sexiest man.. If they did .. tell him since then, a lot of water has flown down the bridge and .. people like Brad pitt and George Clooney have come and gone).. Back to the subject. So this uncle of mine is taking a bed rest for three months coz an accident. Now all his aquaintances come to the house and discuss, politics and business (rn't they synonymous :-?). 24x7.
So it has rubbed on to me, I've gotten into politics and I picked up this news about Wolfowitz. Sounds NAZI.. Nah re. Infact, he is a Jew. President of World Bank. Served in the defence deptt. All the sleazy CV points.
So, this guy is on the news coz of the nepotism he has indulged in. Now, there is an Indian connection to it. Bush made him the president of World Bank to clease corruption. All the presidents of the World Bank have to be Americans .. So, much for the proponents of democracy (rolls his eyes).
So, a man on a mission sends a troupe of lawyers to India to check the corruption in the Health Sector fundings. They summon our Finance Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and wanted to interrogate him .. phewww. The FinMin refused to talk to anyone except their leader ( I guess it was Shaha Riza herself (correct me, if I m wrong). Pissed off. They all went back and recommonded the blockade of all funds to India's Health Mission. And it got Blocked. Some people still treat the third world as their colonies.
Now, its time for Mr. Wolf to answer. He has been charged with showing extra favors to Shaha Riza and had granted her extra powers. Hi hi hi ... ho ho ho... Maza Aaaya

The Return of Prodigal Son

2007-04-14T01:06:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there was a king. He ruled an empire which was fast losing its shine and energy. It seemed to be falling down in the dumps. The king would spend time playing chess with a machine, a new technology which was brought to him from an alien land. The machine was referred to by the messenger from far west as the computer. The frustration of not being able to beat the silly machine never got on to the king and he played chess endlessly.

His queen, the mighty woman who stayed with him in his thick and thin would go by the day’s rituals patiently. She would cook, wash and express her dissatisfaction over the shitty work the housekeeper does. Often, to break the monotone she would complain to the King to move to the nearby summer capital Ranchi (also a hill station). The king would brush aside all such expectations. The king was too happy to live in the heat and mistreat, that his castle would bring to him. He in fact wanted to add one more floor to the magnanimity, he called his castle.Why not? He so dearly himself designed the castle.

Designing was one of his old passions. When his fellow princes would go to hunting he would sketch towers on his drawing board. Only now (he is not a public servant anymore) that designing doesn’t earn him any revenue, else he owes his complete pension fund to an engineers' work. Even today people come and ask to design their houses, but they no more pay him and take it for granted, considering it a genuine help the King is willing to offer selflessly. The cost of such a service has surpassed the goodwill it generates. The new machine that his prince had once introduced to him is a wily old creature in designing too, however; the king hates such mechanical interference in his work.

More often than not he finds himself indulging in “remote fights” with his queen.(Its both fighting for the remote control of television and fighting from a distance). Ask him to look 6 yrs back, and he would laugh; ‘cause then he used to tease his lovely queen about the crappy soaps she used to watch. Now, he himself has fallen prey to the web that these family dramas spin. Slaves inform us that they often get bored watching each other and arguments or little fights are just a pass time.

Recently, the queen has seen a buzz in her feet. The King has renovated his castle and pruned all the bushes in his garden, that he created by himself. They say their son is returning home triumphantly from the battlefield. The king took his old chariot, an old and legendary white ambassador, to the station to pick him up. After a bit of tom toming, the charioteer brought everyone home safely.

The prince, excited at the plans he had for his mother was brimming with happiness. He opened the gates and rushed towards his mom. He touched his mom's feet and hugged her. Sigh. Its been two years.

The prince picked her up in his arms and started dancing. The words of Led Zepp’s whole lotta love started ringing in his head. Before he could sing baby you need cooling.., the queen’s eyes lit up in excitement. She saw the companions of the prince in the chariot. There was this little niece of the prince who had come along with him. The queen rushed towards the kid and picked him in her arms. Then she yelled “Say hello grandma”.

The prince thinks … oh! There goes my share of love. Then he turns back and looks at the kid and smiles.

The prince is played by your own Jay. The King is his dear dad and the almighty queen is his mom.

Though the prince couldn’t sing the Led Zepp number; he soon would and he would don a 70s show attire and would belt the guitar and would record it and sing...

You need cooling.
Baby I am not fooling
I am gonna send ya back to schooling
Way way inside, honey you need
I am gonna give u my love
I am gonna give u my love

yeeey
Whole lotta love
Whole lotta love

(Imagine, you singing this to a middle aged Indian housewife who doesn't even know there is world of rock that exists in the same planet..)

Foot note: By the time Jay posted this on his blog.....King's affection for his son was on a wane...and was back to doing his disciplinarian act like scolding for sleeping till 10 in the morning, not taking a bath till 1 pm ..taking his lunch very late and yeah! not shutting his Laptop.

But, you know Jay ..right?.. Like father like son ... Old Habits die hard.

Smoke on the water

2007-04-03T01:40:00.000+05:30

Crap on the water: This post was supposed to be titled "O Jay, Where art thou ? - part II". I realized (not so soon) that before I posted "O Jay, where art thou - part I" (last post), one of the notorious bloggers in the blogspace called Lizze had already posted with a similar title "O Michael, Where art thou". You may argue that replacing Michael with Jay makes it more spicy (puts a face biting its tongue) but it will also make me charter in troubled waters. This woman (supposedly) is becoming an American from a Londoner(prolly) and thus, the chance of her suing me for copyright violation has increased. I may do a Kaavya Vishwanathan and argue that I prolly derived the name subconsciously from a movie which goes by the name "O Brother, where art thou"; but trust me, it doesn't help. They all believe what they wanna believe (puts a sad face).

(please, increase the volume)

Smoke on the water: This wasn't supposed to be the arbitrary display that u just read in the prologue.(Lizze may just kill me for all that). It was supposed to be classical, non funny and tasteless essay.
The March heat was on. While all the students had gone back home or were holidaying, there were two guys, Lota ji and Nirmal babu still entrapped within the red walls of the college making charts, cracking data and calling important people to make the ends meet. These no non-sense guys were agribusiness management students and had declined big bucks for entrepreneurship. They were working on several projects simultaneously. This all had started when The Chief Minister of Bihar (a state), Mr. Nitish Kumar visited the campus last year. Several students presented projects to uplift the state and were willing to work there. The Minister gave a go ahead. They made a support group comprising the students. Each student would pursue his own project while the support group would provide consultancy and take a hit if one of the students fails in his venture. The ideas ranged from Rural Radio, Retail chain, Insurance plan for Rickshaw pullers, Extracting Ethanol from corn to various consultancy projects for the government. A lot of them are already on its way. Some of the national news channels splashed a one hour documentary on it. The word spread. Venture capitalists, Consultants and supporters from various parts of the country, USA and Europe started calling these people. Now, Nirmal babu says proudly "we won't need Bank Loans. Money is not a constraint. Not for me, not for you and not for any frog who wants to jump out of the well".
Energy rubs on me and I kept wondering, for the past two years where was I and what was I doing "O Jay, Where art thou".
Down South Goa. under a full moon and a clean sky, Jay was sipping wine on the beach along with his friends Medha, Danko, KG, Tiru and Jhade Singh. Jay was singing raunchy Bhojpuri songs one after the other and people were egging him on.
Medha: "abe! gaana aur suna na" (sing me a song) Jhade Sigh: " Do u remember e guddi".
Jay: " O yea, E Guddi.. arre ye Guddi!! aaa Khele chorwa sipaiyya"
"Banhiya mein dhar ke raja....(censored.)"

Jhade Singh was dancing and singing alongwith me. Jhade Singh completed his graduation last year and he himself had declined a good job offer to open "chain of spa and wellness centre" with Hukka. Last year, there were about 6 people who had decided to go on their own, this year there are 11. This year, there are several portals made by some of the students which have become huge hits. Among them "CRICSTOCK" (mixture of Cricket and stocks trading) and "10 a day" (a portal for CAT preparation)". Rights of publishing some material on cricstock was sold within months to a national news channel (NDTV.com). The deal ranged in Lakhs. Does it sound like the youtube story? My own baddie partner Paro had a plan in place for "becoming a supplier of a women's inner wear brand" (wipe off that smile), which will cater to somewhere between the high end and low end customer. Her pic was splashed in the cover page of national magazine. Imagine what kind of peer pressure it exerts on other people. Another friend dearly called Hilao, declined a Lehman Brother's offer because he wanted to indulge in real estate.
All these things don't demoralize me but make me proud. After all when a college is branded Harvard of India or the Best B-school in Asia-Pac, it has to shoulder responsibilities and produce entrepreneurs. So what, if people like Jay chose easy way out by working for some one else .

Well wait... Jay has a plan in place too . U may just hear what he is planing to do soon. So, wait and meanwhile stop wondering, y does the post has a title smoke on the water. Its cryptic.. he he he.

O Jay. Where art thou ?

2007-03-29T17:46:00.000+05:30

"..been drinkin, sinkin and thinkin in Goa..got tanned like coal.. biked.......beer red wine white wine sea food sleeping on the rubber floater tattoo masti cards.. sand ....ab rehne de jay!!!"

This post was long due. The Goa trip had gobbled me into such laziness that I wd sit back like a sloth whole day in my room doin nothing but watching Prison Break and Rome.

Goa was an awesome trip. Danko and me left from Ahmedabad, Pankhi and Jhade Singh joined us in the trip...while, KayG and Tiru had already booked cottages for us in Palolem Beach. Palolem is among the top 10 beaches in the world. It features in the movie bourne supremacy. Palolem is 80 km down south from the other popular beaches near Panjim and hence the domestic crowd rarely indulges in the adventure. Thus, it remains one of the less crowded beaches and plenty of foreign tourist spend months in there. The Beach is really cool coz u walk two steps into the sea and u will have enough water to swim and there aren't forcefull currents that will take you away.

We hired bikes from Panjim city for 5 days. And hell!!!! I had been missing biking. I do love Pulsar DTS I. Its been two years since I quit my job, when I had biked to my satisfaction. Pulsar is the only bike that matches faintly the joyride of Yamaha RX 100.. By the time we hired it .. it was already evening .. and I had no idea that the road to Palolem is through the hills. The next 5 hrs was spent worrying about the twists and turns and dark jungles .. the journey threw upon me (occasionally), the cool breeze and a speed of 100 km/hr .. did give me some relief....

Unlike my other posts, this one sounds like a mundane travelogue. But, I can't muster enough energy to write the way I do.................. So, I will simply put some pics out here from the Goa trip and this anecdote :

The departure flight for Ahmedabad was to leave within an hour. I was waiting in the cab while Jhade had gone to pick other frnds and luggage. Suddenly the driver turns back and asks "So, did u enjoy Goa trip".. I said I did. He continued "been to Arambol beach. akkha nude beach saab. Udhar kya hai na.. usko dekho koi fikar naye... but dont stare for too long.. Side se dekhne ka ..and move on.. total firungs.(white ppl).. "

me: "Nah, didnt go there. Been to Palolem .. its similar and lotsa Israelis. And also to Agonda thats more secluded than others. udhar kya hai na RAVE PARTY bhi attend kiya, Every firung was dressed in white gown. Mast.. booze, grass and blah.."

My eye brows wd go up and down in coherence with the spicy details wherever it was required. The interest of the cab driver was providing me enough incentive to go on.

Cabbie: " umm Goa is like that. Poora Masti karne ka. Idhar Firung ko lagaya kya?" his voice dipped suddenly and he watched my facial expressions very keenly as if there hinges the mystery of all wisdom.

Me: " Nopes. nahin Lagaya" pause. "Arre tumne to lagaya hi hoga itne saal se reh rahe ho" (arre u must have screwed some white chicks, u have been living here for so long.

Cabbie: "haan Boss. Once.."
By that time pankhi, danko and Jhade had returned with all the luggage.

The cabbie opened the doors to help them but for a second he turned his head, smiled at me and sneaked in a few words: "Firung ko lagane ka alag maza hai. Agli baar aao aap." ( its a different experience experience with white females, u come next time ..;)

Sea, Sand, Sun and Skin

2007-03-19T05:29:00.000+05:30

(Disclaimer: characters and incidents in the following act is purely incidental. Any resemblance to the movie 300 is purely incidental).

These were the few brave men who had defied destiny. They fought against slavery. They fought like there was no tomorrow.They were led by their will to enjoy the fate, they had come here to embrace.

They looked at the sun which was being gobbled by darkness. The breeze was from the west .... prolly originated in the angst of Persia. Even the sea was hitting the shores with passion and vigour. Apocalypse now. However, only thing etched in the minds of these few men up against all odds, was FREEDOM.

The King, looked at the murky sky and remembered the red walls, which had imprisoned him and almost decapitated him for two years. Then, he turned to face the fellow soldiers, who had vowed to die with him and cried with LORD'S own stereo:

"SPARTANS !!!!!! tonite.........we die in our undies"

Soon..... the warriors JAY, HAT, FUGGA, CANTO, MAXI, BOCHO, FOOZIE and Junglee NATO threw their naked bodies, wrapped only in underwears; to the sea and swam and dived and somersaulted and played and laughed and sun burnt themselves till FUGGA said, "mujhe bhookh lagi hai" (I am hungry).

We were holidaying in DIU. DIU is a small island and used to be a Portuguese colony. It has got beaches, the Portuguese church, some good Italian restaurants, sea food, booze and peace. There are too many stories from the trip. I wish I could dish them all here. People rush to this place mostly because there is a ban on liquor in my state and nearby Diu is a good excuse to let the juices flow. I was surprised to get discounts in the resort we lived in for two days. I was amused by the fact that the Identity card of my college was doing wonders 100s of kilometers away. I was with a bunch of friends who had let the peer pressure and finance jobs bypass them and accepted marketing jobs (which was only 8% of the final job scene this year in my college).

I would put anecdotes from the trip sometime later. Right now I am bugged by my itinerary. I have finally booked tickets for GOA (the poor man's CANNES). Tiru and KayGX would join, me and Danko there in GOA after attending the IRON MAIDEN CONCERT. (oh man! y did I miss it.) Maxi is joining NOKIA which has sponsored the IRON MAIDEN CONCERT and is also Sponsoring SHAKIRA's SHOW in Mumbai. Our own Tadka is looking after the two concerts as a representative of NOKIA. Tickets/ Passes wd have been available so easily :(((((. Anyways, as of now ... following schematic diagram is supposed to represent "how jay, broke sackles, toured, laid eggs, punished cockroaches and got a life" for next 20 days.

The Dawg is leaving

2007-03-18T01:51:00.000+05:30

There are numerous videoz made every year. This one is one of the videoz, which captures and arouses my sentiments for leaving one of the best places on earth after 2 years. The video has been made by Proxy, who is now joining a Swiss Bank and its all about the Dormies. All the Dawgs captured in the video. ...................................................................I need a shoulder to cry now!!!!

There is this video from one of "the wannabe rival college of ours". The video is sweet and for our batch, thus, it reciprocates our feelings. It is extremely nostalgic :( and the composition is their own.

Bong Bong Bang Bang

2007-03-14T13:28:00.000+05:30

I just finished watching this new Indian movie named "honeymoon travels ltd.". The story was weird and at times hilarious. Among all the couples shown in the movie, there was this Bong (Bengali.. ppl belonging to West Bengal in India) couple. The young bride was like a lake, holding millions of boiling desires inside with a calm presence on top. One day, she insists her husband to walk to their home at nite, instead of taking a bus. The Hubby, a typical Bengali guy,was hesitant initially but gives in to constant bugging from her better-beautiful half. And just to prove the Murphy's Law (If something can go wrong, it will), some goons surround them in a lonely road and ask to submit all the belongings. Even the chain, the woman was holding to so dearly. Even the chain!!! Even the chain!!

"Back off!!!" She shouted,"I am not giving you this. It was gifted by my parents."

"Guahahahaha" (please, imagine the echo and monstrous laugh)..."give us the chain .. u filthy.. wh@#$"

The afraid and astonished husband pleads,"Sona diye dao.. chainta diye dao" (Darling, please give them the chain)
"I am warning you, don't try to touch it." announced the woman in her increasingly war rhetoric.

With knife in the right hand, the grease painted face with a mole, grinned and lunched forward towards her.

Suddenly without warning, the catwoman of that coy Bong gal jumps in air and slams her knee on the chest of the goon. A few more of those martial art kicks and the battle was over.

The hubby looked at her with his mouth wide open and so did I. She comes to him puts her head on his shoulder and says,"Remember, momma used to send me to learn RabindraSangeet in the red building. They used to teach martial arts in the floor below. I never liked Singing."

Yup. That is the story of a rebel Bengali. Every Bengali is supposed to be surrounded in the myth of Rabindrasangeet. They are defined by their coy and disciplined behaviour. Woman with Big Red Dot on head and a stick in the hand to spank their hubby. Man, with a restricted behavior and high intellect but bound by the limits drawn by his wife and his five Gods

1. Rabindranath Tagore
2. Durga
3. Subhash Chandra Bose
4. Satyajit Ray
5. Saurav Ganguli.

U utter a word against them and they will take out ur tongue and stuff it up ur arse. I have my own Bong connections. I was reminded of it a few days back during the Holi family get-together. One grandma comes to me and says, "Beta, did u read Tagore. Rabindrasangeet is the ultimate treasure of wisdom and wealth. Have u read Gitanjali?? U didn't !!! U should see the way he defines "LOve". There is no human emotion, which isn't delineated in there. Read it and follow it. U will have success and will get a good job and u will prosper."

I nodded once. twice. thrice. and so on. Then, I looked at grandma, i looked at the roof for once and then I kept my head down. I couldn't find any Bong words to reciprocate to her. My next job would probably take me to a stint in the land of Bongs "Calcutta" ..(Blasphemy.. its Kolkata).

There are a few good things about Bengali though They have supposed to be the Hottest and most beautiful Indian women. They have Rasagolla, which is a good Bengali sweet. They can have me, if they promise to be nice and welcoming.

Lastly, a few words for the girl, who probably reads my blog a lot. Please!!!!!!!!!!!11 stop asking me: "how do u say I love u or I love someone else in Bengali "

Theory of olives and flying sperms.

2007-03-11T21:37:00.000+05:30

In last few days, I have chalked out 200 plans for the coming holidays and erased them. Hence, the frustration of not being able to come out with anything is growing inside me. It is pinching me and the bitterness is flowering.

Iron Maiden concert in Bangalore this month seems already a distant future. Precariously hanging, is also my Goa plan. G-Spot is dancing in the corner of my mind with his offer to go to Vaisno Devi. It is easier to fight US elections, than fix a plan for me. STD accuses me of the laziest and slowest guy to have roamed this earth.. Holy crap!!!! wd u believe it .. he he he.

I am lazy and slow. But O.J. Simpson beats me blue at that. Didn't you hear his latest claim. He says:

"Anna Nicole Smith's child is actually his. The gal child was born late because of his slow moving sperms. He hopes that there is no DNA test, otherwise it would be found that he is the father. He is among the three other men who have thrown their hats in the ring and claim the child is their."

Weird as it may sound, It would certainly do Anna proud if she is looking from the up-above. This is just the second weird findings of the week. The banana split guy, who lives close by introduced me to his cousin. Conversations took us around the world. From Charlie Sheen's hairdo in Hot Shots to Theory of olives from "How I met your mother".

She listens to Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. She says she is a big fan of their music. I said, "gulp!! gulp!! ok". It would have been easier to swallow had she just said she likes Red Hot Chilli Peppers, as the band is known now-a-days.
When she asked me what I listen to, I said, "cacophony of the weirdest lizard on earth which surely isn't miraculously majestic master of mayhem's fluidity." ..ok.. whatever it meant... bleh..

She said are u applying Theory of olives. Aha!! something I had an idea about. Theory of olives states that if you like olives and the counterpart doesn't there is an attraction.So , if some one likes red hot chilli peppers i wouldn't.
I said, "may be, if it impresses you ... however,I hardly have an idea what I am doing, except for attempting a sarcastic take on ur taste in music.. And in which I have failed measurably."

She shrugged her shoulders. I shrugged ~~her~~ mine.

Master Plan Google

2007-03-09T14:28:00.000+05:30

This is an over hyped conspiracy theory and the clip is very sleek.

Total economix

2007-03-07T03:29:00.000+05:30

As I am graduating, bypassing the Gyan distribution in my very own blog would be a gross error. So, I am gonna bowl short spells of friendly biodegradable knowledge from my wallet.

Last fortnight was a whirlwind in the economy. The inflation touched a mammoth high, the annual exercise of Budget by the Finmin was tabled, the top B-Schools in the country entered the campus recruitment season and the grand old man of intestine Mr. Alan Greenspan opened his mouth again.

Talking of inflation, the reason is a palpable supply constraint. Too much money is chasing too few goods. The growing demand is exceeding the production capacities. Among other goods, Oil and petroleum is a substantial determinant of how inflation would go. India imports heavily and pays in rupees for it. Now, we do not let the Rupees to appreciate (limited floating), hence we have to pay a lot to import the oil. If Rupee appreciates against the Dollar the imports would become cheaper and the prices of oil can be brought down and hence the inflation too. Having said so its not that simple either. It spells doom for the exports and especially the software companies like Infosys; which are heavily dependent on software and services exports. Infact, it doesn't seem a good year for software companies. After enjoying a tax holiday of about 10 years they have been brought under the ambit of MAT (minimum alternative tax). No doubt the response from Bangalore was meek and gloomy. Meanwhile, the inflation is yet to be tamed.

Much ado about nothing: Alan Greenspan predicted about 33% chance of a global recession. Considering the fact that global economy was overheating after enjoying a 6th consecutive year of recovery, it seemed a correction factor. Stocks across the globe which had started tumbling two days ago .. actually made a comeback today. Greenspan's words couldn't dampen it further.

The reflection in my home: Today IIM Bangalore, one of the premier management institutes in India, saw its Day Zero placements today. It wasn't as rosy as expected in a year when the economy has prolly grown about 9.2 %. Global Investment banks unexpectedly picked up very low numbers. While, back in college, we were discussing the placements in our group, I actually joked "Its a sign of global recession". Hell !!.... Is the recession really down the corner?

Hope not... anyways the panic button has been pressed in my campus, where the campus recruitment season is just a day to go.

Those who get the news from the media would prolly never know the pressure and tension of a gloomy and uncertain future some of the students are facing because by the end of it Management institutions manage to show a big picture which has all the colors in place.

The Agar Media: Management colleges like the one from where I am graduating should actually share the blame for the misquoted statements in newspapers and newschannels. At times, in the hunt of greater glory; the students also gloss the final fugures of campus recruitment and salaries being offered. There is this funny story that figured in one of the leading business newspapers:

"Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta students have been offered salary packages of more than 1 crore (10 million)..................
.............................. In fact, the IIMs in India have come of age as these salaries are about 50% more than the salary figure offered to Harvard and Stanford Graduates".

Eventually, students in these colleges know the missing link. So, a friend of mine called IIM, Cal questioning as to wtf!!!! are these figures. They replied "you started the game".

Yup, the 1st news of more than a Crore salary came out of my campus, which was offered by a leading investment bank. Well, if someone could get the structure of the overall salary being quoted, they could see, it includes a huge chunk as the expected bonus. ...And I talk of a bloated figure .. douche!!!!!

Talking about media, there is another news article which made our jaws drop and made us giggle. Read this : http://www.centralchronicle.com/20070303/0303102.htm.

This college is also among the reputed management colleges in India. Hopefully this press release was not a work of the college officials but the work of an evil genius called press reporter. Look at the spelling mistakes committed : Macancy, Assenger business consultant, Deloty consultancy, Goldman Saches, Duche bank, City group, Alghamin Industries,etc.

(The correction should be-McKinsey, Accenture, Deloitte, Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, Citi, Alghanim). Some of them are the richest banks in the world and lolz imagine if they read the news article.

And another thing, I forgot..

2007-03-01T20:01:00.000+05:30

I am taking my Dorm for a dinner.... the whole dorm.. Oh yeah Baby... aaan aaan nod ur head.. That's right. See u latza, right now time for matza in Mirch Masala.

Need to write..

2007-03-01T16:21:00.000+05:30

The evilllllllllllllllllllllllllll has been let loose.

I just finished the last exam in my life. TOmorrrow, I will start packing to go back home after 2 loooooooooong yrs, in which was prostituted by the books. (Doesn't feel bad tho .. I was a high end call boy of the acads ).

By the looks of it, u should feel by now I am going crazy. Batasha was the 1st one I called in the moment of ecstasy. Then, I wanted to call others.....hell!!! some inhibitions stopped me from doing so. Anyways, so here I am; my heads swinging to the Voodoo child by Jimi Hendrix and my fingers moving fast over the laptop surface.

Tomorrow, The sexy-eyes-Doc is coming to the town for an Interview. He is my long time undergrad friend and is also known as the man of weird ideas in the Jay world. When we finished XII, we took admission into St. Xavier's college (not telling you which Xaviers .. na na na). So, the class had like 40 gals and 10 guys of which 3 wd remain absent. When we would sit in the Lab.. staring at the gals... Doc wd mention "Jay!!! when r they gonna make prostitution legal in the country. When wd my dream of opening a brothel be realized.Oh!! Amsterdam I miss u".
After a brief stint there in the college he followed me to the undergraduation (B. Tech.) and we had fun.......... the story thereafter is LEEE GEEEN wait a minute its coming DDDARY.

But, I will talk about all those later.. right now two stingy chopsticks .. a few sexy white grain of rice and an aphrodisiac called Water is waiting for me ........ I NEED TO EAT.

Goats' testicles and sexual politics

2007-02-27T19:05:00.000+05:30

The slave comes forward and brings the bowl forward:"The goats' testicle domina."

"Not for me, for Octavian." and points to the kid sitting opposite her. Then, she continues:"Eat them while they are warm my dear, puts oak in ur penis."

"I rather not." Refuses the young man with disgust in his voice.

"Nonsense, u must. U have been developing a distinctive feminine aroma and I do not like it.When ur mom's father was at ur age .. not a single slave gal was safe. Remember the son of Julia and the masculine men. Now, do as I say .. eat them."

"I will not."

"U will not leave the room unless u do as I say."

Stares for a while and then barks again:"I am waitinggg!!!!."

and that kid at the young age of 19 became the emperor of Rome. Under his rule Rome ushered in a new era of prosperity and stability.his name was Augustus, also called as The Son of God, the heir to the throne of Julius Caesar.

I came across this while watching Rome (a HBO series). It shows brutal and insensitive treatment of women. Men used to swear by the code of conduct, would live by sword and use women like commodity. Women would be deceitful and use sex and seduction to have their way and screw the royalty. Similar, sexual politics is also seen in far east in Indian subcontinent. Women were used as commodity (well things have changed but..) and women wd play similar games full of lust, deceit and treachery. Kama Sutra is a tale of how women play sexual politics.

Having said so... I wd again read the conversation above between Augustus and his mother and I can't stop laughing.. Dude!!!! goats's testicle to become a man.... he he he.

Main Bhi Madonna: Audioslaved

2007-02-24T03:16:00.000+05:30

This is erratic. Suddenly, I found myself with a lot of free time. It is making me go crazy and I am doing really stupid stuff. Missing old flames... awwww. Soul searching.........bullshit. Playing....... kid!!!. and Singing.............. save me!!!.. and recorded them... why??????

The 1st song I chose to better (he he he) was "Show me how to live"............. Chris Cornell .

I Know, I can't SING. But u can pass these pieces of melody as drunken frustrations of a bereaved soul. (ouch!!! the songs were less painful than Jay's writing).

So, here u go.... this time COCHISE.

and I did that again :

Now u know when I said I am going crazy, what I meant.

Monster's Inc. Ahoy

2007-02-22T21:55:00.000+05:30

Legs tied to the branches, I too 've been hanged upside down

and I could see a room of corpses and closed doors
Smile, as we become a part of Monster's Inc.
U lick my wound, while I lick yours.

The days of untented innocence is coming to an end. Last few days in college and its a mad rush to get a job. Nites go by discussing jobs, the hype surrounding my college and the pressure it has created on students. Cooked up stories, whimsical journalists have a field day. The salary figures quoted in news papers are largely false. The media attention and public interest has created a spell, where everyone is expected to bag a job which is top paying. These jobs are infact restricted to a certain sector and to a few only. However, ppl are sacrificing their choices and jumping into the job profiles, prolly which, they are not made for. All because they are falling prey to peer pressure.

Last few weeks, I myself witnessed emotionally and professionally testing times.( I woke up to the fact that HR (Human Resource) guys are digging up Orkut Profiles to know about candidates. Orkut has been a genuine social networking site and experiences realistic expression among frnds. In this regard, it is by far more well-behaved than Myspace, Friendster or HI5. But then u can't blame the corporates, when they are hiring people by paying a sum, which is far above the national scene. They can't afford to hire people who gonna dupe them and dump them after a brief stay. Dog eat Dog...Corporate espionage is metamorphosing.

Too bad tho, my orkut scraps don't feed the spying eyes much. It still is a nightmare for me cause half of the scraps are all about "where have u been placed (=got a job)? what about the salaries". If there is an old friend on chat, its the same Q. If its a fone call, its for only one purpose. Anyways, I don't have anything bad, that I need to hide.(In fact, I have a pretty good one.. job I mean ).

Talking of Jobs and readily available foreign exposures, I can't miss mentioning the story of Dildo and Nippo. Both of them got high paying jobs last year and are well placed in England. The story goes... During 1st few months, Dildo used to go out on weekends to clubs and pubs; while Nippo the conservative one wd stay back alone. He would pick a firang (white) chick and ask if she wd like to have a drink with him. Too bad .. no luck here dude. After constant failures, he started checking out eastern Europeans. 1st they wouldn't understand english. When they did, lol.. "no thanks". Dildo didn't get discouraged. He tried approaching Indians living in there. Lol, they won't even listen.

Now, Dildo spends time playing carom with Nippo in weekends.

U don't let ur go life like this. He he he .. so we have our share of fun at the high pressure situation. STD, Tiru me and Rubby have this tournament going on between us.

We have to play a series of sports. Me and STD on one side while Tiru and Rubby on the other. We already have lost Tennis 6-4 6-4 (don't listen if they say its 6-2 6-0). Today while we were coming back from Canteen at 3 am .. we decided to finish off the Badminton. Hola!!! we did play and we won .. he he he. So now the scores are level at 1-1 (Tennis goes to them and Baddie to us). The only game in which I am banking on STD is "wrestling". Hopefully he will get us a point in our Fightclub.

Enlighten me Anna-Banana.

2007-02-19T12:02:00.000+05:30

Hello ... 1,2,3... check... check. Welcome to the live coverage of the Satsang NB.
(The Notice Board is to discuss Philosophy, Gyan and naked sadhus; with their doodle-dum hanging and running into the holy waters of Ganges in Allahabad. Men at war are identified in the discussion thread only by their weird nicks.)

Super powers along Maharashtra questions : Why did Anna Nicole Smith Die?
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess responds : Please elaborate how this is related to enlightenment or this NB.

Super powers along Maharashtra replies : Anna Nicole Smith was one of the few individuals who had the ability to bring men "up" when they were down and spread warmth and "holiness" throughout the land. She could only be rivaled by Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi in these respects. So if we can understand why, and possibly how she died, we would be able to uncover a part of the mystery that is life and death.

Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess replies : I learn something new everyday.

Small people are called midgets interrupts the discussion : he he... I don't expect you Grande poopooba to not understand these things.

Che Gubbara : bad karma

Body odor and women: POTtY tales

2007-02-12T14:21:00.000+05:30

A few days back a stupid news item featured in our NEWS NB (Notice Board). It followed a long discussion, culminating into a grand finale.

The news was about how women are attracted by body odor of men and hence the deo sales should go down. It was the byproduct of so many trivial researches that toe-nail-chewing scientists do.

"Cortisol levels in the women who smelled androstadienone, a derivative of testosterone; shot up within roughly 15 minutes and stayed elevated for up to an hour."

Androstadienone is the male chemical signal. Here.....I drop it and there u get dropped.

Apart from the nasty scientific discussion we can indulged in, a lot of single male species came in with a new found argument. They justified their singledom and inability of female appeasement to their regular bathing habits and hygiene. Hydrophobia would result in a stinking male homo sapiens, which would coz the human body to be the fort of accumulated androstadienone and thus females would stick to him.

Soon, the repercussions were seen in the Annual POTY awards (Person of the year awards). A separate category was created for "hydrophobia award" for the one who bathes the least.

POTY nite didn't spring any surprise. Geela hosted the awards nite (which is also our farewell nite). The hydrophobia award was bagged by none other than our neighbor peepu.. Yikes!!.

Moment of reckoning came when "ADAM and EVE award" for the most sticky couple was announced and the winner was again Dopey and Peepu.

Geela straightway announced, their stickiness to be the true testament for the article on women and odor.

Geela: "Dopey; sticking with peepu, the hydrophobia award winner!!! It has to be true love...

.. but, Dopey..."

with frustration and anguish in his face, he screams: " .....HOW?"

Captain Courageous and His Dharma.

2007-02-07T01:44:00.000+05:30

Forgive me for -
One- I indulge in excessive self adulation [Cause though it may be wrong, it doesn't take my right to talk about my feats.]..... and thus u have been lawyered

two - While I write this, I have already slipped into trance listening to one of my fav. bands Rammstein.

three - captain courageous has nothing to do with dharma. The story is in two parts.
___________________________________________________________________
Captain Cook

Interdorm cricket is something that takes the interdorm rivalry to a new level. Being the defending champions puts extra burden on us and considering we don't have the batting strength we had last year, our task is really cut out. Someone had put the team name in the notice board with me as the captain. Things really are weird here.

The taming bulls - Bhooke(cap). Geela. Chuli. Puchi.Cryo.Appu.TJ and Jhalak(wk).

The 1st match was against one of the toughest teams in the tournament and we, the defending champions entered the arena as the underdogs.We scored a pathetic 39. When it was time to bowl, the opponents made a mockery of our bowling. Soon, they were chanting "where is the next team". Our shoulders were down. Suddenly, Geela started bowling like a drunken monkey. Opponents started getting run out in a mad rush. In the last over they were supposed to score 5 runs to win. Yours truly and sincerely Jay took the ball. I bowled a negative line. The opponents gave away their wickets and lost by one run. Hurrays.It took some time b4 realization of the victory sank in.

Sounds Fatalistic. Atleast, we are through to Quarter Finals.

__________________________________________________________________
Dharma

In our leadership class, we had to make a presentation on "Idealism and reality" based on Iravati Karve's Book "Yuganta". We had three characters to portray "Karna, Aswathama and Krishna" (Tongue twister ?.. no doubt the exchange students from Europe excused themselves from this Hindu mythological discussion)

We planned a decent role play and we pulled it well too, except one technical goof up. I used one of my favorite Fonts "Samarakan"(below), but I couldn't install it on the classroom comp.

As usual the classroom produced some intense discussion splashed with corny display of humor which reached rock bottom.

The faculty is moderating the discussion and asks to draw parallel between the character of Krishna and Rama.

She says "Though both are considered Gods, Rama is the one people look up to and not Krishna.Even when Mahatma Gandhi was shot, he said Hey Rama"

interruption 1 - Ma'm, That's also because Rama is easier to pronounce than Krishna

laughter.

interruption 2 - Ma'm. actually the chant goes . "Hare rama , hare krishna." So, Gandhiji mentioned Rama first and before he could say Krishna ... he was no more.

man!!!!.

However, the following cracker was a bit respectable.

Characters of Karna and his quest to be recognised as one of the royal blood was being discussed, when some1 mentioned the dreaded word RACISM. Some fellowmen started giggling.
On being asked to share what was it that got them tickled, prompt came the anecdote-

Well, last Sunday we had been to dorm dinner and Mukul ordered SIZZLING BROWNIES.

To that Geela commented - "Had u been in England u would have been charged with Racism and atleast watchout that Shilpa Shetty is not watching"

The faculty later said " In fact, this city is famous for its' sizzling brownies."

.......

don't laugh. literally.

Battlehardened

2007-02-03T01:58:00.000+05:30

This is hardcore. (Yup, not much is here for nubile minds.)

Rated - A
Theme - A hard Days Night

4:15 pm - I had put on my business casual and rushed to CR5. I took the comb in one pocket, so that I could rest the bouncing souls on my head called hair, to rest; while I walked to the CR5. If u are late u have to flush out 250 bucks.

4:30 pm- 5:30pm - the presentation by this company, which claims to be the 2nd largest FMCG in India (pre Gillete-PnG marriage) starts with the display of "uncommon sense", which is their idea of existance.
Well, one good thing they distribute After Shower Cream and a Aftershower Gel.

wierd.

Then, for an hour they go on to pitch in as to how wonderful it is to work in that organization.. I am impresssed.

5:45 pm- I rush to the computer center (I have been playing the Commodity trading game there). I see a slump in the silver and gold prices. I start buying a couple of lots. Soon, there is a news flash in Kitco.com that some funds have started buying Gold. Gold prices start to rise so wht do I do .. I take some short (sell) positions.

No prizes for guessing the bullion prices never go back .. and I start losing money. I decide to go back and sleep.

8:30 pm - I came back to room. and started reading a book "the new world of microenterprise finance". I was supposed to submit a review next morning.

10:00 pm - I couldn't resist sleep. :)

00:30 am - I woke up to reality. Start slipping the pages of the book. fast and furious.

7:00 am - I completed a review of 4000 words. Then, I started another book.

10:10 pm- I finish both the reviews. Rush to Ludo's room. wake him up. Start his comp and fire the print out. y don't they keep their system fast and running. geez. Meanwhile, far-far away from the maddening moments the class where the review was to be submitted has already started.

10:10 am - I enter the classroom with a thumping noise of hands hitting the desks and everyone staring at me.

Mr. Sriram welcomes me in the class."Did u submit both the reviews". I answer by nodding my head in affirmative. "Are u able to walk? (he he he.. my foot) If, u wanna go back and sleep, I will allow you and If u wanna stay, that is possible only in one condition - u have to promise You won't snore".

No Answers.

"I have been Nasty to you"

No Answers. (Nasty. Nasty... Hell ya!! u have been Nasty.)

**FlashBack***

The book review was allotted like a month ago. However, I realized only two days back that the book I was supposed to cover, wasn't available. I was roaming around in a corridor, where I was supposed to be interviewed for a Job that I saw the prof passing by. I informed the prof that I didn't find the particular book and instead picked another by the same author. the prof gave me a mouthful before he realized my neatly pressed suit and asked " Are you going for a job interview?" I said "yes". " Well, then go in a good mood and talk to me in the class next day."

The next day. He asked me to submit reviews on two books. Punishment for bad planning. I had only one day to go.

So I had finished 2 book reviews of 4000 words each in one night. One of the Book was about SBA Loan guarantees to the Bank credits by the federal government and the only thing it discussed was how badly run and managed the whole program was in the early 1950s.

Gladly it was the profs last class and thats my experience with one of the best prof i met was to end.

"Ok, So bye bye for now and all the best for your careers.Its time for me to gossip in our lobby with other teachers." Pause. and stare. ""what do you think only students gossip. Faculty also have their own juices to share. The crime committed on you is an organized one." Wide smile. "Good morning Jay and Bye"

11:15 am - I am back to my room. I check my mail-box and reply to some penis enlargement kit messages. Oh, when would they stop.

11:45 am - I adorn myself in business casuals again and enter the CR5 (again!!), which adorned itself for a mega cola war. Yes, this time it was Pepsico presentation.

Good thing about them, they distributed us lots of free Pepsi and Mountain dew. Bad thing, I am not very fond of Pepsi products. They made us play a game in four groups named "Pepsi, Aquafina, Tropicana, Fritolay". We were supposed to solve an operation problem for them.

The Fritolay group presented an algorithm to solve their distribution problem and walked away with the prize.

1:30pm - I finished my mountain dew and walked towards the dining hall for Lunch.

2:00 pm- I come back to room. I check the Gold prices and silver prices. They had climbed further up. more losses. I sit back and wait for the prices to go down. They didn't.

5:00pm- I come back to room dejected and open my comp to see a news in www.kitco.com

"Gold prices crash from an all time high because the funds face losses".

A bit too little too late.

The pregnant woman.

2007-01-30T22:29:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time, when Jay had a plan (refer the previous post). Aliens launched a "crack attack".. blisters sprouted on the skin.. dark clouds covered the sky.. television had "Oprah" all day... Britney won a Grammy.. Bush got a third term.

**snap**

They started drinking too many too fast. shots after shots. Cranberry nectar packs were short. During the western choreo itself, peepu and G-spot made a mess of it. Peepu started rolling all over the floor. Dopey had more than a handful to hold. Rubby was trying to pacify everyone.
To cool everyone down, we came back to the canteen. sipping coffee and chit-chatting. Fashion parade was about to begun. Suddenly, the three men (Rubby, peepu and G-spot), expressed their desire to be taken to the room. Dopey took Peepu. Komal took G-spot and I took Rubby.

That was not a good idea.

Rubby puked all over. After that, I stayed in my room looking after Rubby. Meanwhile, Fashion Parade got over and Prestorika performed in my absence. Nextday, the remorse of missing out on the metal bands' bitch-slap-kick-ass music took over Rubby and he kept abusing me for not taking care of him. I kept wondering "wtf".

and yes The Caribbeans turned the tables and whipped the naked ass of Indians.

So, we decided not to drink and spoil our plans like this again (Still we had two days of concert to go). After delivering a baby, A pregnant woman always swears not to go through all that pain again.
___________________________________________________________________
hangover persists.. everyone is feeling wasted . After the boring day, a round of fone calls start among the friends. I pinch everyone with a message : "I am the unconquered one as everyone else couldn't handle the vodka fest".

Rubby takes the bait: "bitch, I started drinking when u were in the womb".

"What do u say dopey, feel like drinking b4 the show?" "I just woke up and my head still hurts plus I have an assignment submission tomorrow". " ..picture two months ahead and everyone else has nothing else left in life but to watch data from Reuters on the computer screen. None of the friends would be around"

pause.pause.pause.
Dopey : " Can u get me some dope"

( Alas! After an year she gets pregnant again)

Cranberries with the pyromaniac

2007-01-27T17:07:00.001+05:30

Today is the third day into "Chaos". Its already 5 pm. Western Choreo is gonna start in an hour. It would be followed by Fashion Parade and then the whole nite ROCK competition to be moderated and judged by Prestorika.

Meanwhile , down south in Chennai, Indian Batsmen are murdering the Caribbeans in cricket.

To keep up the pace with all the excitement we have made arrangements to spice up our mood. We just came back from the mall and we bought Cranberry Nectar (loads), Red Bull and Lays. The news has just filtered in that Vodka wouldn't be at premium.

Rubby, Myself, Komal, G-SPOT(yes, thats his name), Peepu and Dopey planned for everything yestrday itself after a dull Remo and Mynta performance. So, we are gonna assemble in Dopey's room and gonna pour all the Vodka inside and go to the Fashion parade. (muahahahah! we would be allowed in the premium section of the crowd because we are volunteering for some logistic work in the Fashion parade and the Fashion Parade Coordinator STD is our dorm mate )

Dopey has god level limits of boozing and she maintains such composure. However, her boyfriend the pyromaniac peepu would do the balancing act by going wild. Hope we will be able to keep the match box and lighter away from his sight.
Anyways. its better that he goes wild, because I would need company for my post drinking no-holds-barred act of craziness.

(thankfully, I was able to push aside all the relatives, who asked for guest passes of the shows and wanted me to be with them during the show.. he he he I am evil). In the pic, u can see pyromaniac peepu at his decent best.

Tickling the Blogger : Recent comments and more.

2007-01-26T05:15:00.000+05:30

Proppadom eerrodipus strophillicious Commentovilli and blogcrotic.
(please, know these terms before you read the following tutorial. It is important)

Recent Comments :

I used to have Farrago recent comments hack. Google it if you want that hack. But now as the blogger itself has provided help to add this feature, I guess there is no need to take the pain. Blogger provides simple code, which can be modified easily with some common blogger template tags.

What did i do?

I modified the code to include the whole comment body by adding the following tag:

<$BlogCommentBody$>

Now, my recent comments appear perfectly in my sidebar. I could afford to add the whole comments body because my sidebar is a hover menu and hence, the comments body would appear only on hover. (Thus it doesn't clutter my sidebar even if there is a long comment .. tada ). So, I can read the recent comments without trying to navigate away.

With Farrago hack, I was able to limit the no. of recent comments to appear which I am not able to do right now and it seems recent comments appear only for the posts on display on the home page. hmm........ Your friendly neighborhood is thinking.

Footnote:
I was thinking of calling myself the Jedi knight of blog technology. Later, I thought it is too much of a fancy idea to wear those gown and look weird..... "Yoda, please hear me not. Just joking, I am."

and about those terms on the top of the post.. nvm them.. thats something I have to do cause I donno how to start a post.

Search for Comic Relief :Rumble in the THONG

2007-01-23T21:22:00.000+05:30

This is last weeks' pursuit of much needed comic relief in various dimensions:

Hog the blog:
Bloggers have been writing their way to glory on some trite and boring subjects(or may be I was reading the saddest of them all).I was getting really despo to read stuffs that can titillate me. Then, I bumped into David Maiki's excellent work of creativity and imagination through a list of 12 most humoruos people on the net. David Maiki's combination of contemporary theme with archaic surroundings is worth having a look at, than reading gossips about Angelina or talking about immaterial-racial-mud-slinging-in-a-reality show (read Big Brother). Anyways, it gave me the pip to rejuvenate my own immature attempt at wearing the thong again through my greenhorns. Making a complete strip requires a lot of effort.. pheww!!(Dude!.. have u seen a GUY struggling in a thong or trying to manage a Saree.. IT indeed is an effort..nvm if u don't get what I said.)

Rumble in the thong:
Now this may not be funny for most of you but it is for me. Like an year ego me and a friend of mine had this bet that Hillary Clinton is gonna run for the HOT SEAT or not. I have been watching her moves with anticipation of a pregnant woman and here she gave in to the itch in her thong. Some of these women have extreme discomfort in their undergarments and u can easily find it out looking at their movements.

Domestic LOL:
People have been suggesting putting in some hot pics which can finally put the ratings of your blog high. (Afterall blogging has been reduced to popularity charts and number of clicks.) I was asked to join CLICKY (web statistics) and it handed me my 1st laughter of the week.

"this dude from US clicked my blog post pornucopia while he was looking for underage literotica in google"

Sick.

So, I looked at more of masala stuff in surroundings to put in my blog and the closest I could come up was this pic :

This guy is my dorm mate and is an ex-Adobe employee. (I can reveal this coz his face has been destroyed to an unrecognizable extent... he he).Thats cake on his face.
No wonder why I run away and they can't find me in my birthdays.

Anyways, we have been doing 007 to find out to whom does the finger belong.. Sucking up to whom.

Andaz-e-Chaos

2007-01-21T12:01:00.000+05:30

Its that time of the year again and time to go wild. Last year, I had a gala time,this year CHAOS (our rock and cultural fest) is gonna be bigger better. This is what the organizing team posted on our online NB:-

Through the Pro Nites, Andaz e Chaos aims to cherish the sparks of indiiduality in the field of Music. From international fusion to Pakistans greatest band, from the most successful indian rock musician to the qawwali maestros, we have celebrated the bold initiatives of some of the unique pioneers who made it big... and in the process, bring you the most comprehensive range of music that any cultural meet in the country has ever witnessed. Andaz e Chaos has something for every Andaz!!!

25th January

Nizami Brothers
Qawwali Their family has been singing qawwali for the last 700 years! Still continuing the legacy, the present generation has not stepped back in enthralling the connoisseurs with their craft. Acclaimed for their proficiency in the music form, Hailing from the Sikandra gharana the famous Nizami bandhu, Gulam Farid Nizami and his younger brother Chand Nizami, need little introduction.

Mrigya-Hindustani Fusion
Enter the global sound world of Mrigya, a unique fusion band from Delhi which presents a rich blend of Indian Classical music, blues, funk and latino. Mrigya stretches the boundaries of music with a sound that unites the world as one family, a philosophy which is demonstrated in the term "Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam". Mrigya became the first Indian band to get a 4 star
rating with the Scotsman at the 2001 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This is an experience not to be missed!

26th January
Taalnaad
Headlining Act : The power of tabla

Mynta
Chaos' First Internation Band
Sweden and India find a common place in music through the ears and imagination of the group Mynta. Founded in 1979, the group has created their own genre of music, while preserving the integrity and traditions of their root sounds.
Mynta began as a regular Swedish jazz band. Its music has evolved over time, and through the years has added international dimensions. Stalwarts such as singer Shankar Mahadevan and santoor player Nand Kishore Muley have collaborated with the band. Since 1987, Fazal Qureshi, son of the legendary tabla maestro Allah Rakha and Zakir Hussains younger brother, has been one of its major forces. Mynta has a repertoire of compositions with sounds from North Africa, India and Sweden to name a few. With western instruments like the clarinet, the saxophone, the keyboards, guitars - acoustic and electric - and drums from various countries, it is quintessential fusion. visit the website for more information abt the band www.mynta.net .

Remo Fernandes
India's leading and highest-selling rock musician and being the only one in the country to be awarded Gold Discs in this category, having song after song go Platinum and Double platinum. Has won many awards and accolades at international song festivals.Known for high-voltage excitement and total audience involvement, this man has done it all....hitch-hiked around Europe and North Africa for two-and-a-half years, singing and passing a hat around in underground stations and pedestrian streets, composing songs and writing poems, sketching and absorbing invaluable multicultural influences. He sure is a man who has done things differently - record an album in the bedroom, write and illustrate a book of poems, design postcards and t-shirts, and drive around on a yellow scooter distributing all three...."Zara Hat Ke"!!! For more information log onto http://www.remofernandes.com/

27th January2300 hrs onwards : All Night Rock Competition at RJMCEIHeadlining act and Judging byPrestorika
'Prestorika' came into being during the summr of 2001. the past years have seen them reach the pinnacle, playing primarily heavy metal/progressive music they constantly tour the country providing their audiences with a mind-boggling set of high energy music. calling all you metal heads out there for a performance of your lifetime. visit their website for further details www.prestorika.comVarious semi professional bands from Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune and Delhi competing in the event. 28th January Gaurav DagaonkarHeadlining ActGaurav Dagaonkar is our very own alumnus who graduated from IIM Ahmedabad in 2006 and is coming out with his first album 'Om Namah Shiva' soon. From amidst the race for corporate honchos emerged this individual with a passion for music, and ended up paving his own path to his dream. It doesn't get more 'hat ke' than that !! and we celebrate him before the country would.

Silk Route
The music of Silk Route, is very much their own genre, even as they are constantly reinventing their sound and adding to its repertoire.‘Silk Route’, which came into being in the summer of 1997 and caught the attention of the country’s music scene by bagging a host of Channel V awards for their first album Boondein, the track that still plays in our heads. Get ready for the uniquly fresh music that still never fails to amaze!!

Junoon
At present, dubbed as the 'Best Music Group' in Pakistan, this 3 man band has goven a whole new meaning to the word 'Rock 'n Roll'. The band were one of the first bands in Pakistan to insist on playing live music where most music was sampled and programmed synth pop. Heavily influenced by rock bands like Led Zeppelin, Junoon aims at combining loud guitar riffs with the tranquility of sufi poetry. Junoon has been the first and most successful Pakistani group in history, having toured extensively around the planet, including the renowned European rock festival, Roskilde, where Pearl Jam, Iron Maiden, Travis, Queensrÿche, and over 200 other world famous artists performed. For more information please visit their official website http://www.junoon.com/

[Read More..]

My Inspector Cluso

2007-01-20T07:57:00.000+05:30

.Its been an year since, he had smelled the aroma of the red walls. He had returned to the college as a guest lecturer. Soon, the students realized the master of the ring hasn't lost touch as he flashed his smile and said to his audience

"Hi, Pink panther returns."

he pounces like the quintessential beast and sets the stringent rules and says he is adding one exam and an assignment to the curriculum. Looks at the response of the students laughs at them and reinforces while he is here we need to walk on the tight rope.A student tries toenter the class late he looks at him and then looks at the class. ***sigh**.

Then, he says what r u waiting for come one join the class. I understand you Its hard to wake up after 4 pegs during the nite in some1's arm.

"Anyways, since you all love me for the assignments i throw upon ya ; I no more feel comfortable and hence I reduce the work by removing one of the presentations scheduled later in the course."

Sensing the smile amongst his audience he says: "You Know. The good cop bad cop works. You guys indeed should watch the pink panther returns."

Since, removing the presentation allows you all the time to manoeuvre a bit, next week I expect everyone to submit a book review on microfinance.

He again flashes his smile: "good cop bad cop".
____________________________________________________________________________________
Later, Mr. Sriram who has returned to take our Microfinance classes; went on to discuss the Nobel peace prize winners Grameen Bank and how Daniel Pearl was pushed to oblivion.

Yes, the same Daniel Pearl.... Angelina Jolie is making a movie on. The same Daniel Pearl, who was shot to martyrdom by the terrorists in front of media glare somewhere in Pakistan. Nonetheless, a few years back he had put a front page post on Washington Post, about how not everything is right with Grameen. Since, then Grameen Bank has changed a lot and this year they won the Nobel for making a difference in the livelihood of the poor in Bangladesh. Though nowhere they recognize the findings of Daniel Pearl.

The Goo, The Ba, and the Lee

2007-01-15T08:15:00.000+05:30

Rating: *** (PG)
Soundtrack: Jay (Blatantly lifted from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)

Play the mood:(the version which included my voice couldnt be uploaded on time , will do it later)

Epilogue: Its been only 3 days, I had arrived in this infamous land in relation to my work. Straighway, I was assigned a job in a remote town. I was about to leave the small roads of the city to join the highway. I could see millions trying to do so.. and my bad! all the other lanes except mine were under repairs. The lane was generous as it accommodated all of us, and then suddenly we saw right in front of us a guy on his horseback riding like a cowboy .. coming straight at us. (The other side of the road was logged coz of traffic the guy just switched over to wrong side). It was just the beginning as the land let me experience the WHOLE WILD WEST thereafter. It is also known as Bihar. This is just one of the stories narrated to me by a friend.

Story: Jay had just withdrawn some money from the ATM and was rushing towards his home on his Yamaha RX 100. It was a posh locale, abuzz with crowd in the heart of the city. He took a right into the colony where he lived. Soon he could hear some words chasing him from the behind.

"He is the one. Bastard!!.. Lets beat the shit out of him. He is the one"
"No. No. I don't think this is the guy."
"No. I am telling ya. This mo fo is the one.. what are we waiting for"

Jay decides to check it out as to what was going on. He brings his road rider RX100 to a halt and looks back. Two men were approaching him. Suddenly they increased their pace and with a flash they surrounded him. One of them said: "take out cash. FAST"
As i move a bit I wake up to the gun pinching me near my kidney."

He pressed the gunpoint again to enforce the dictum. Jay takes out his wallet to get some cash. They snatch the wallet, move away, ride their bikes and only a trail of dust is left. People started surrounding a shell shocked Jay.

After 1 hr, Jay is home. A cousin of his is discussing the matter with him. Jay doesn't want to register a complaint. Cousin pressurizes him to do so. Then Jay informs that he did visit the police station but they refused to register it. Cousin immediately calls the Police Commissioner, who is a relative.
Commissioner takes a note and gets back to them after 15 min.: "get your complaint registered in the Police station".

At 10 pm, the inspector of the police station calls and asks" Sir. can u please come and register the F.I.R."
Jay refused rudely coz it was too late in the night. The inspector hangs up and calls in the morning again to continue with his request. This time jay decides to go and register the F.I.R.

Later in the day, the inspector calls again and says:"Sir. U can come to the Police station, we recovered your belongings".
Happy yet surprised, at the efficiency; Jay goes back to the police station where they hand over the wallet to him. All the documents were in place. The wallet looked as if was thrown in a garbage bin.He checks eagerly (there were some important documents and a hefty check in the wallet). All of them were in place. But, there was about Rs 5000 cash missing from the wallet. As he raised his face to inquire with the police inspector. The inspector interrupted: "You know, I had to chase the bastards and get your belongings. You should be happy u got atleast your wallet back." he followed it with a wide grin.

I decided not to argue any further and returned home. Later in the evening The commissioner called to ask if everything went fine. Jay informed him of the wallet and the missing Cash.
Commissioner responded with a tone laden with anger:"wtf. The cash was there in the wallet, when last reported to me." "Jay. wait.. I will get back to you later".

After one hour the inspector calls Jay again:"Sir, we have nabbed some of the goons and have got the cash from them. Can you please come and identify the offenders".

I mulled over the idea and decided to let it go.

Soon the commissioner called and asked whether he got his money back or not.
Jay replied:"Uncle let it go. Those 5000 bucks aren't much. If I identify the goons today, tomorrow they will nail me down and I can't go back to you every time. I am the one who has to live his life amongst these bastards."

Smileys in Blogger

2007-01-12T03:39:00.000+05:30

Though, I keep fiddling with the blogger template I, like the miser with a spoon, have rarely talked in detail as to what and how I do it. Recently, I saw some fellow bloggers nonnie and luna throwin a lot of tutorials, I thought lets do it for once.

So, when a friend of mine asked me how I included smileys in blogger .. I decided to put it here.

This is where I get my smileys from. A simple "click" for whenever I want.

Initially wanted to include all the yahoo smileys here, but then I thought they were a bit big for my liking. I used greasemonkey scripts to include them here. For the techies who want to know more go for the attachment below.
____________________________________________________________________

Greasemonkey is a firefox extension which allows you to change the way your webinterface functions by modifying through Javascripts. So, first of all you need firefoc with greasemonkey. Then I found the some Java scripts for blogger in Userscripts. I installed one script for blogger smileys through it. But, I didn't like them so i wanted to have my own smileys. For this, I opened an account with userscript.Then, Uploaded the script for smileys/emoticons to my account and modified the script.

To modify the script, I opened the script in an editor (in my case notepad) and then included a few lines for the smileys I wanted to add. like here :-

Its simple. One only needs to include the image url's for their smileys/emoticons. Then save it and upload in your host (in my case Userscript). Then install the script to your browser through greasemonkey.

Thus you are done.

There are other ways to do it like included a whole lot of codes into ur template for urself but I think using greasemonkey for JS is a simpler way.

Horrorscope

2007-01-10T15:24:00.000+05:30

I had intuitively vowed to myself not to type down anything unless I have something substantial to put in the blog. However, I can't find time or the energy to do a nice job (which requires a lot of effort on my part unlike others for whom things flow so naturally and they keep blogging .)

So, finally I have decided to leave just a footstep of insignificance. Lets open the cards one by one:

.Honed my dancing skills to "smooth criminal" again. I love the kid in the video.
.Have fed myself with a lot of grunge and metal. Been rediscovering the Seattle Bands. oh! and my usual dose of some Scandinavian stuff (Royksopp again). The lovely part about such bands is they bank on a promotion which comes by word of mouth and not big banners.
.I have failed an interview (don't stare at me).
.Passport office been making me run all over.
.Had too many classes (I wish didn't attend) and the profs are so good, that I end up attending their sessions rather than sleeping in my room even if I am tired.

.I am playing a commodity trading game for the second time. Yesterday, I made money on some crude oil futures. However, I think my team is lagging. Today evening the window opens again and I hope the Gold futures will fetch me some brownie points and good money. Phatlee, my other team mate has just informed me that he won't be able to accompany me during the trading session as he has some gay presentation to attend.

___________________________________________________________________
Lastly, I leave you with this anecdote that a friend of mine shared during our usual 2 am CT (cafe tanstafal) get together:

Prof. Ravi Chandran had taken a bunch of 30 students on strat. Safari (an annual event where you get to visit the SEA nations and understand their sudden resurge and economic boom and a subsequent bust).

"CEO ,Johnson and Johnson, Malaysia has just delivered lecture and is involved in discussions with the students.
Amidst this serious discussion on economy, our usual CP* GOD has her itch and stands up to ask : "Sir, what are the best places to shop in Malaysia".

The frame shifts to the CEO. He smiles and stares blankly at prof Ravi Chandran.

Ravi Chandran tries some damage control measure (if wit is the greatest savior of all).

"Yeah, I know at times she asks difficult Questions"

*CP= Class participation, tendency of a student to speak in class to fetch some marks.

The Monkey Balls

2007-01-06T04:45:00.000+05:30

"What your monkey balls, Jay .. u have been doing?"

"Nothing much .. been bouncing and bouncing and bouncing"

I was supposed to slog hard for the work which is due this fortnight. However, I downloaded a lot of music. Checked out "Royksopp", a Scandinavian band. They are very good and just my taste like other Scandinavians. The vids are also impressive. I tricked the network block with the help of Tor and downloaded a few songs before my e-mule, limewire and torrent were tied to impotency.

Another excellent stuff, I came across was Frank Miller's"300". Hopefully, its the movie of 2007 in the making and the theatrical release would do justice to a very graphic and gruesome novel from which it is being adapted to screen. You can check out the promos. That's a completely "yo"movie with the background score by "nine inch nails". (umm.. I wanna feel u from the inside.!!!)

This is madness....
madness!!
This is "SPARTA!!!!!"

and the frame freezes into ur mind as the spartan king Leonidas throws the kick of his life.

Fight Club

2007-01-03T07:55:00.000+05:30

This is one of the long lost pics of 1st year that I just found in the LAN. This used to be our regular "Fight Club" Sessions when we; the young nerds' frustrated of the Academic pressure in the first year would grapple for physical supremacy in the "top floor". We used to have "one on one"(Hard core WWE) and "pile-ups"(the pic below).

That's Rubby getting pinned down by the mighty three Peepu, Geela and Frustu.

Did u see that Ass .

I loov this pic (Please, don tell rubby that you saw this pic has been published on the net. Dude! no one wants the proof of the fact that he was raped literally .)

Pornucopia.

2006-12-31T04:27:00.001+05:30

[prologue to the great Indian erotica]

( . Inspiration is derived from - a person who mentored me to where I am today, and his dream of writing the gr8 Indian erotica.
. reminded by heather and her fellow blogger friends; however, I am delving into that non conventional and weird writing as usual.
. a semi fictional account)
______________________________________________________________________________________

nickel by nickel.. u have scratched out of my body,
I still wanna sing, as I see the chisel in ur hand..
and the horror in your pants.

She, no more asks to be taken to the same bliss, where she had lost herself in passion. All she does, is to hold him tight to her breasts and lets her finger tickle the beast who is lying there like a waste.
The owner of the humongous bestiality doesn't expect a ferocious tigress giving all her wildness to him like this, but all he thinks of is, his struggle to breath freely.
His gentle requests go unheard and he moves to break free from her "generous" arms.Thus, he lets himself live another moment.

She caresses his arms and chirps with her lips "your arms are strong, and I like that". Moments of silence follow and she yells again "your arms are strong, I like them".

"umm, uh yes! yes!.. your arms are stronger"

She watches in horror and demands "you could have said something else".

He caresses her like she is the lotus embodied in a silk-smooth alabaster skin and her legs part with the spell, that they are in.

"your legs are stronger too."

She distances herself the way the sun leaves the mountains every morning; however, her eyes are wide in shock and disgust. Suddenly, the embodiment of two lives into one was stranded before it could begun.

Jay realizes his mistake and thus his 1st erotica dies. Ok! u think it was a joke :P.

Though erroneous, bequeathed,
and surrendered to the sheath ..
but I know u r also a horned one!

Netvibes, Fauxto and me

2006-12-28T05:09:00.000+05:30

I have been using netvibes for a while. Its a nice place to get all your feeds aggregated.Apart from all the news, I use "webnotes" and "to do list" a lot. Look at the screenshot which showcases my pathetic "to do list" .

I used a new online picture editor Fauxto to edit the pic and it simultaneously hosted my picture also. Fauxto is neat and a handy picture editor.

(Click to enlarge)

A week of turmoil

2006-12-27T06:42:00.000+05:30

The week just gone by has been crazy and it's nothing compared to the promise that the coming three weeks hold. I have had three things in life .. work, work and work .

I have been tired of answering ppl that I celebrated my Christmas "in the confines of the red brick walled college". Guess what? it was nothing to what has come up now.Rubby called me and informed me of plans for the 30th and 31st. He proposed to go to "Diu" and freak out for the two days with friends.
The state I live in is a dry state which in otherwords means a restriction on alcohol .. The only way we managed to get alcohol is by asking the foreign exchange students to get some from the monthly quota of booze they are allowed during there stay in the state.(yeah strange .. ppl with non-Indian passports are allowed, but we aren't ....discrimination and racism at the forefront.)Diu is not famous for beaches or babes, but it is the closest get away where u get to booze a lot with freedom, barely a few kilometers away from the state I live in.

Here comes the spoilsport : Probably mom and dad are gonna visit the city during this weekend so I m not sure if I can spare the time and leave the city.

If that was the wound here is the salt : Suddenly a loads of work has come up related to the recruitment process in the college and hence, if I leave this place I will have to do so at the expense of preparation required for the recruitment season and my career(does it sound bad.. It does ).

This means my holiday season has completely gone for a toss and so has my blogging habit.

The Mood is Back.

2006-12-24T05:20:00.000+05:30

A few days back, I was feeling really OLD. The "will" to play and dance seemed dead. (wtf! that can't be me). Didn't feel like playing cricket and I would returm from the court after one game.(wtf! this is me ).

However, today I felt the zing is back. I played couple of games and emrbraced the pleasure of sweating out again.Plus, I got messages from my baddie mate VASU as to when he can join in to play. He is back from his stint in Amsterdam and he has sent me a couple of pics.

(that's Vasu in Amsterdam, click that pic to enlarge and see the magic of lightbox ;let the page upload completely and then click.)[update : Lightbox has been removed temporarily]

Ok right!!! he njoyed in the Casinos without me . Those two red heads... eh they are Saggy.Now, stop looking at the left-most pic and the other two are the ones so titillating. These are the two new sexy courts coming up in Vasu's dorm. His schedule is jam packed but he is so eager to join the baddie mates in the court. The Baddie club is up and jamming.Yup, now i am excited to and raring to go. We don't have any University matches coming up but we have vowed to play a lot in the next three months, which would be our last few days in University life.

Ain't the green ones sexy and hot. I am salivating. Orgasmmmm!!!!

Another template HARAKIRI

2006-12-21T03:33:00.000+05:30

I don't end fiddling with template . I have again made changes by replacing my earlier smileys to new ones (courtesy: greasemonkey scripts), putting a list of recent comments to my sidebar and by using peek a boo comments.

I don't use too many smileys; but I thgt, hell!! no harm in having them in my template and I am satisfied with type of addition cause they are small.

I was looking for a list of recent comments to be displayed on my sidebar like I had seen in some wordpress templates. I found some neat hacks in blogfresh and followed it with a bit of customization for my hover menu bar. It was working.

However, when it was time to get a show/hide comments thing(so that one doesn't have to navigate away from the page to read the comments), I ended up spending a lot of time. Finally, i got my rescuer in the blogger help. Lolz, I didn't know it was called peek a boo comments. Its neat and the comments are displayed instantly without having to wait for another page to download.
Meanwhile, I switched from old blogger to blogger beta and I had a tough time. 1st, it took a lot of time to transfer my blogs. 2ndly, for a few minutes it seemed I had lost a few code changes I had made .

Thankfully, everythng is fine now. The beta one loads faster so it would tempt me to fiddle with the template further and check the previews fast .

Oye, I have changed the background and got dotted borders too (in case u didn't notice).

[update] 23/12/2006 : Modified the comments section. Added colored comment boxes(It's easy just define a class with ur choice of colors and and fix the comment codes within that class.)

tried lightbox. added a searchbox. have a pop-up comment box now.

Lemme take a deep breath..

2006-12-17T17:52:00.000+05:30

Since my last post...The green Planet has rotated about 16 times, Bush has lived another fortnight to annoy me, Madonna has not bought any new life,Lunaticgal has joined my frustrated blogviewrs,Suga has reappeared,Iqra has changed her blog, my dorm mate still asks me to pick his nose, I have unloaded myself with the sabbatical.. but my typos refuse to go down.

These 10 days been a satisfying work. I completed a project (a business plan), which can work for the upliftment of a tribal area in South Gujarat.Our presentation had put a broad smile on the District Development Officer (an IAS official). His praise, fed my ego a bit more. Well, nothing less but we managed to buy his words that he will act on the plan within 15 days.

It was surprising to find a govt. official so active. It certainly dismantles the myth about the bureaucrats. These people are good, abreast with latest happenings in the corporate world/economy and are eager to get help from consultants from outside(us ). The IAS was young, tech. savvy, influential and keen to get things going. No wonder he won some awards for the best officials. This sums up his mindset:-

"..Gujarat's GDP growth is somewhere around 12-13% (national avg. been around 8-8.5%). We are asked to double the GDP in 5 years. The 1st question that lingered on our mind was.. 5years!!!!.. thats too loooong"

Anyways, I have unwound myself with this effort and now looking to kick the clubs and mates in the chilling winter.

going... oh! wait.. dude.. will u pick my nose.

The Newbies

2006-12-04T05:53:00.000+05:30

Some fresh new wonderful people have joined the blogspace.Anny joined a few days back. Now her counterpart and arch rival Iqra.

This is the hymn for Iqra.She is little wonder gal from Pakistan. Her energy rubs on to me whenever she talks. When I 1st saw her, I felt that she has been sent with only one motto in life " Some people were born to rule, some were born to demolish the twin towers,Tiger woods was born to put the balls into the holes .. but Iqra was born to TALK"..

Iqra is sweet and its nice to see her in blogspace now.Exactly an year ago I had met a similar gal, with such energy and vibes(the world certainly revolves). Though everything with her ends with Roger Federer,which is not exactly the cake I love .. but hell, This gal is nice.

Welcome to Blogger. In her words " u ko bhi likhna chaloo karna chahiye".

Allah hafiz

CSS... My Ass

2006-12-02T15:55:00.000+05:30

Hadn't changed my blog for a while now(not that I am very willing to change). As the exams got over and no sports for a while.. I had the time to fiddle with it. 1st Thing I looked at, was the complaint of those long posts, I am addicted to. So... what I did was using the "read more" thing, which we see in the newspapers. Then I saw that in Franky's blog and then Slim's. I was looking for javascript and CSS .. but I dunked the javascript (avoid it as long as possible), and got some simple solutions in blogger help. Then, I customized it to use it only for my long posts. I love it when its done with simple codes.

Then, I was looking to get that hoverbox for comments about any links on the page and I stumbled upon the idea of having hover menu box. I tried and yay!!! got it.Check my vertical hover menu box on the right; for Archive, Blogrolls and previous posts. Again I have avoided the use of javascript. But yeah javascript can be handy.

I will modify it further and need to fix it for other browsers.

lolz.. These CSS, javascript shit is easy .. I guess, they need professionals only coz u need some1 else to devote time :).

Lessons

2006-12-01T11:45:00.000+05:30

After playing three continuous tiring matches and managing to lose in two... I still couldn't sleep early.. been watching a movie..The exam early in the morning was open book (it was an easy paper anyhow)..so that leaves me with the strength to ponder over the lessons learnt so far since yestrday nite.

One, Never play if u feel u not fully fit 'ND NOT EATEN FOR THAT TWO DAYS.

Two, don't be overconfident.

Three,ignore when they say "fuk off u loser". (forgive them for they know nothing what they are saying)

Four, Don't get tired of the statement "Don't wry,... but u played well" (No matter how much of a sinking feeling it gives.)

Five, Don't think of staying in Uni for another year, So that u can play a few more matches.

Six, Take solace as to wait and watch the response of the chicks who have been watching you. (Arre, Losers impress them more.... personal opinion :P..)

Seven, Blog it and get over it and eat so that you may have the strength to Bash up the dorm mates who r gonna tease you for losing. (Already 8 ppl have asked me since morning... "How can u lose to HAT" :|)

Eagles Vs Phoenix

2006-11-30T00:46:00.000+05:30

Perspective: Combos (An annual interdorm sports event.)

My team: eagles (Dorm 04,15,16,17 and 19)

Eagles have virtually done a rolling stone in being no. 2 all over. We have lost the finals in Tennis, Table tennis, Basketball, Carom, Pool and couple of Computer games.Now, We are to be tested in Badminton. With the team pinning hopes, that at least the curse of blue eagle would be broken.There are other stakes too .. my non playing team members have put a bet on us [how sadistic of them :(]

Eagles player :hinges around me and Paro. Maxi can support in doubles. I am yet to find another singles player to fill the matches.

Phoenix team :Hat's team he has like 5 above average players.

Format : Best of 5

Hence, its crucial that whatever games me and paro play, we need to ensure a win. I want to play a singles, a men's doubles and a mixed doubles.I have been a singles player for the Uni. team but the doubles r crucial.

Crisis:

1. Goddamn there 2nd best singles player is injured but can still beat any of my other team members with a love game. :(( .So that makes 1-0 in their favor.

2. Maxi my doubles player is in Bangalore and he wants to play all the doubles (promises he will win them). I am skeptical and want to play one of the doubles myself. So, the two doubles cant be decided.score 1-1.

3. Paro is damn good in ladies. (however, she going through one of her personal issue). Still wd expect her to romp home.. so 1-1.

4. I would most likely be pipped against their best singles player. Though I have beaten HAT, but in practice matches he at times takes the game home and I am a slow starter.Gimme benefit of the doubt:P, then its 2-1 in our favor else we lose:((.

5. Hey!! did I tell u my recurrence of mystique in my stomach ?.. he he he.:P haven't had proper food for last two days.(But thats usual with me). I have just ordered one glucose pack and some glucose biscuits.(fuel).

6. Aaah. lolz. I got an exam 2morrow early morning.(where I have scored a D+ in the midterms.)

Your Job : still need to mention.. wish me luck .. the game will prolly start in an hr. (1 am)

An Interview with a Vampire

2006-11-27T19:05:00.000+05:30

(Its another long post .. But worth it ).
This happened like an year ago, but I would remember it for a long time. This was a crucial interview.

I reached there on time .. everything was set and the process started soon. I had some stupid query for which, I approached one of the administration guys and shot the Q. The tall and towering figure turned, stared at me disparagingly and answered in his Amitabh like Baritone. He was an impressive man. He dismissed my existence as silly.
Soon the group discussion followed. I did well and it gave me the confidence for the final interview. As usual in the interview, I was the last man in.

The person who had ignored me as if I am the crap on a car bonnet, was there right in the middle of the three member panel giving me little idea of how I had underestimated him.
Those who don't have the patience, can straightway go to(click it) [ Fun with Mr. Guha]
The Questions touched some agricultural issues about which I had no idea. I candidly said I don't know the technicalities. He egged me on for guessing the answers. I accepted the challenge (who cares if I was no where near the right answer or had hit the bull's eye). After a few rounds of Qs on medicines, the discussion moved to my Hobbies.

So what else do u do?
"I write, read and play badminton" (I had practiced to fix only these three, which I can defend)

What do u write?
"I write whatever comes to my mind. Right now I am working on my biography and a story based on the unsolved Purulia Arms drop case"

hmmm, ok leave it. U play badminton.
"yes"
Tell me Why is All England Open Badminton Championship called so
"I don't exactly know y they named it so. It was a long time back."

So there are'nt any reasons.
"well I guess (they nodded yes, yes .. guess) It was opened to all (global) hence it was called so.. and it was touted the World Cup at that time.."
So why is it still called so
"I guess the tradition has to play a part and it stayed"

Why our event isn't called so?
"It cannot be called All England Badminton championship. One .. cause this is not England and two it is not open to all "

They laughed.

Ok, tell me the point system?
"Well they keep it changing. Right now it is 5 sets .. with 7 point each game."

So , Its nice.
"I don't think so sir.. The game is faster but it doesn't suit Indian shuttlers. They r slow"

OK leave it. What do u read?
"Anything, I am a voracious reader. Feed on anything I can lay my hands on"

Oh yeah!. what kind of books?
"Sir, I am not a fan of any specific genre. I pick books of different styles"

Like
"Like Historical I Picked HITLER, fiction GO Small things. Fiction Grisham, etc"

The Last book u read?
"Da Vinci Code"

Haah !! Crap. misleading .fodged.errr. history.
"Sir, I don't agree It was a fiction and anyways History is semi fiction. So, I enjoyed it as a good thriller set against an unconventional backdrop."

hmmmm..

Fun with Mr.Guha
Most of the talking was done by that Tall persona and a few by the person on his left. The third person was quite and watching me till..

Do u know William Dalrymple?
Ummmmm, I have heard of him but don't remember exactly. May be White Mughals??

He asked me about another Author..
Obviously, I had no idea.
Another one.. Do u know Ramchandra Guha?
"umm read of him but cannot recall any particular work from him."

U donno..?
"RamChandran , I have read his articles in Times of India"

U said Ramchandran?

"Oh! my mistake its Ramchandra"

The Q changed lips (The baritone again).
"No.. Why did u say Ramchandran? Do u think a name like Ramchandran Guha is possible.
Isnt he a Bengali.?
"yes sir his surname Guha suggests he is a Bengali"

So, why did u say so? Do u think a name like Ramchandran Guha is possible?
"Sir, yes the name seems unlikely. However, this is a strange world anyone can have any names"

They started laughing ,,... Bullcrap!!!
I interrupted their joy.

"Sir , when a guy called Baddruddin Qazi named himself Johnnie Walker .. after the bevarage brand.. anything is possible...So, its a strange world"

Mr. Goliath made a serious face and said " don't you think there is a difference between an inherited name and an adopted name?"
"Definitely there is . But there can be other possibilities"

Like?
"Like.. may be Ramchandran Guha's perents were of different community and to have a compromise they named him so .. Surname of one parent and the 1st name from the other one."

They again started laughing(goddamn how much I made them laugh )

So, what do you think? who was who?
"Sir, may be his dad was a Bengali coz he has the Bengali surname and his mother would be Tamilian (coz of the Tamilian 1st name)"

Silence .. They stared at each other for a while.

Mr. baritone stares at me and says :
"You know u have a foot in your mouth"

Man!! I was shocked and scared.

They asked a few more and then said .. You may leave now .. and do take some biscuits u have talked a lot.

The sadistic panel comprised of some of the distinguished gentlemen in Academic fraternity
Prof. Sriram (Mr. Baritone.. I faced him later in class. Never dared to talk back on him). Prof. Raghuram (the silent person) and the third was Prof. Diptesh Ghosh.
Thanks and good bye.
[Read more...]

Food for thought

2006-11-22T14:30:00.000+05:30

My sick food has arrived and the look of it gets worse :(. Speaking of food and looking at the observation that down south Slim's uncle and cuz are also suffering from Diarrhoea/Dysentry; I was fondling with the idea that whether Diarrhoea is the gr8 Indian unification symbol apart from Cricket and Bollywood.

Talking of food, I just attended a guest lecture from a Manager in Nestle, the biggest bulliest of them all, in food globally.He threw some insights which were processed in me with the perspective of a despo blogger.

The Point is passion for food and sensitivity towards it cuts across the border but still we are a nation of variety. Thats y we see global brands cant displace local namkins( Haldiram is the lord of the rings.) Lays(Potato chips) had its ups and down ... it is the food of a global Indian who represent less than 10% of India. The pseudo intellectual and a bullcrap population. (Hey!!! the angst may arise from the fact that .. I for most part of my life belonged to something which can be characterized as a "ASPIRING TO BE" Indians.. weird? huh!).. Anyways, did the global Indian knew .. that Lays coming during the summer is of better quality than what comes in winter, which is about 30% darker.(Goddamn!! how wd I know about any Pepsi product... ask Komal, she is the quintessential Pepsi girl). They tried to grow Atlanta potato in India but they failed.

Food and health is a great misnomer in here. What u consider healthy is not the perception. Diet Coke has less than 1% market share. They tried to launch Lays with less fat (gr8 hoopla).. however it failed... (Man !!! Indians cant compromise much on taste).. Those, who were raving about the project ..all those women were ordering extra Samosa. Dude in some part of India .. we still want to see a person of "khate peete ghar ka ladka" (the guy from a well to do family) which in normal terms would mean the guy should not be lean.

Not only that, some of the food items were decreased in quality to streamline it with Indian tastes. Poor thing tho not everything goes with the food MNCs. They try to push quality and health standards. Nestle did a lot of research in Singapore to provide Indians with a non-Maida Maggi .. 'Cause mothers refused to feed kids with those maida containing Maggi. Too bad for Maggi they still don't use Coriander from england cause our coriander doesn't suffice their quality requirements.

If ur wondering what is Maggi.. Its is a packed noodle.

Noodles .. thats the essence of china.. You see while I finish this article, I have another stir in my bowel which makes me think; This diarrhea and Noodles thing can be A great Chinese Conspiracy to render Indians less efficient and non competitive. After all we are the two nations with mind boggling GDP growth figures and yeah Chinese food is something which resembles our food the most.

Poop, Loop and one smoking barrel

2006-11-20T23:03:00.001+05:30

Was debating with Robbie as to y his sissy would leave Australia and wanna Join any Uni in LA or wanna learn Textile in UK. .. Suddenly the clarion call knocked me off... and I headed for the loo.. It was to be the 6th display of disposal skills. Man!!!! last one week has been literally draining for me. Been suffering from diarrhea, would barely eat anything in the whole day. I have survived on Sick Food(Khichdi + Curd) from the student mess.

I thought of changing the Oflox + Ornidazole combi the doc .. ordered .. Cipro + Tinidazole is always a betta thing for me.. I shd have done it.

The Scary Part:
The Agony didn't stop there. One day, I have been sleeping since morning and at around evening mom called and informs me .. my nephew is suffering from the same and is admitted in hospital (some pedigree!! phew). The nemesis was an irritating Lactose intolerance in this case.

The Best Part:
I played with him a lot during my both visits. He had a strong obsession for my cell fone :((.

Not only that fate sends me another kid to compensate. This is Ashu (Don's son). Don informed of his K'log and yeah been addicted to it. Its so refreshing. (Don learn a few things from kid and upgrade ur blog :P ).

Bottom line (and its a smoking bottom, literally).

I am weak, have been sleeping only and have completed watching 2 seasons of two and half men. Thankfully, my nephew is home (yay!!.. u know this thing puts u emotionally down.. even if its me :|). Lastly look at what i ate .. it freaked out Robbie .. hi hi hi ugly.

Forehands from Tursunov

2006-11-19T18:35:00.000+05:30

I have read quite a few tennis blogs. Tursunov(..well if its tennis it has to be a Russian), comes on top of all the players who have dabbled with some writing. He is known for his tongue anyways so i was expecting some sparks when i opened his blog page. He didn't disappoint me... (He was on a high after helping Russia beat USA in Davis cup semis and then clinching his 1st ATP title in Mumbai, India.)

His two cents (from his blog )...

Excerpts from Dmitry's first blog in Estoril (May, 2006)
By the way, fans don’t realize how much time tennis players spend online. Dinara [Safina] probably has every song on the planet into her laptop. Marat downloads so many movies it feels like he is planning to open Blockbuster Video in Moscow. Gael Monfils is nuts over MSN. A couple of days ago he was sitting in the lobby and, I’m not kidding, talking on six MSN Windows at the same time. The guy is like Neo in Matrix. He has no idea what he is writing anymore or who he is writing to. He just puts “lol” and moves on to the next window. The girl is probably telling him that her kittens died and he just says, “lol.” At the same time he is listening to Bow Wow and tries to sing along. The funniest stuff on Earth. A French dude is trying to rap! Impossible to watch without a condescending smile!

Wednesday, Oct.04
6.55 AM: Rise and shine! Time to…. “DISEMBARK”! Can’t wait to get to the hotel and open the bag with soaking clothes from my final’s match. By now my laundry is like a good wine. It has been aging for 24 hours in a plastic bag. I wonder what my chances are to get it washed before the match today because I only have one match shirt left. I got thirty pairs of socks though! Isn’t it exciting?! "

Thursday, Oct.05
11.30 AM: ........ Instead of running around the court and risk getting an injury I slapped some forehands at the back of the fence as hard as I could. The fans loved it! They shouted, “Godzilla returned! Godzilla returned!” Some even took photos of the fence where the ball left a mark. What is it with Japanese and their obsession with cameras and taking pictures?!?!

and this was the best:-

Monday, Oct. 02
9.50 PM: Our driver is driving like frenzied Narain Karthikeyan (Formula 1 driver)! He's making Evel Knievel look like a DMV poster-child for exemplary driving. I'm starting to wonder how much "Esurance" (a car insurance company who is sponsoring me) would quote him for, for an insurance policy if they actually saw him drive. It’s pouring and the streets are filled with cars, motorcycles, animals and people who are celebrating Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday by dancing and banging drums right on the side of the road. It’s a total chaos! You can’t describe it in words, you have to experience it. “Drop-Zone” at an amusement park is like picking your nose on a sunny Sunday afternoon comparing to this ride. Even though it’s a lot of fun, it’s a bit scary. The ultimate testament to our driver’s skill is the fact that he is able to make it to the airport in under an hour. The trip to the hotel from the airport at midnight on empty streets took us just as long. Schumacher would probably still be stuck at the first intersection with his blinker on trying to merge and drive around a herd of sheep. As hectic as it is, in the two trips to India I have never seen an accident. Residents of Boca Raton, FL should take lessons from Indian drivers!

After this i checked out his US open ..stuff and was equally good. The last good tennis blog i read was of Ljubicic when was he was in Chennai Open but Tursunov is a vast improvement.

grrrillously chaotic

2006-11-14T14:01:00.000+05:30

and u asked me y I needed someone to clean my bum!!1

(yup I keep everything at one place.. cant move myself.)

My own group thing.. ;)

2006-11-12T02:08:00.000+05:30

On Tuesday, we had a dinner .. thrown up by Navin aka Tuppe. It was more of a get together of our 1st year study group.

1st year was hectic down here. Thankfully I was partnered with a bunch of very down to earth people. We were a crazy bunch and we stuck together for all the three terms in the 1st year, though . other groups were disintegrating.So here is the crazy bunch we had fun with on Tuesday..

Srini(aka tHorny): returned to India after six yrs in US cause he felt home is calling. Too bad he is having a brush with reality now.Got back to study ...is on a sabbatical ( His employers r taking him for granted .. hua hau hua). A techie...
latest issue : marriage and has just found He is a Manglik.
(omfg... That means he can marry only a Manglik girl and they are rare :| )

Oh! I didnt add the nicest guy i have met.

Navin (aka Tuppe): Thyself is double the volume I am. After leaving IIT KGP .. only thing he misses is his Boozing capability.
latest issue: 1st year was betta, atleast the academics kept him busy. Now he is too bored with nothing much to do ..

Sirji, made us cover another 6-7 km for a sizzling brownie he likes .. after we had our dinner.

Ami (aka Mimi aka Psycho): The 1st thing i asked on the dinner table is "u got engaged? (look at the pic .. it seems so)" .. She ain't but soon she would. She is a "nice gal". One should have seen her bursting the ass of one of head honchos in front of the whole class.. where does she store so much anger!!
Latest Issue: Problems of plenty.. Levers have already offered her a job .. Hubby is by her side .. things r too peaceful ...:-?

The Missing Gems

Vyom (aka Rancho) : he is cooling his heels in Germany as an exchange student(That guy is obsessed with Germany he went to Germany when he was in IIT Kanpur.. now here too .. y the heck.)
latest Issue : which part of Europe he didnt roam around. "damn gotta go back to college now:(("

He has been a prodigy .. million dollar brain... envy envy envyyyyy.

Jay (aka Bhookey) : forget him.

Jagshemash Borat

2006-11-07T12:52:00.000+05:30

(which means How r u Borat)Borat Sagdiyev, originally Sacha Baron Cohen, is a funny character. I was introduced to this insane guy in the Da Ali G show on HBO. Then, I saw one of his movies where he mocks the British parliament. He is in news cause of the controversy surrounding his mockumentary : "Borat: cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan".

Here is an excerpts from his biography :
Borat Sagdiyev is a Kazakh reporter who was born in 1972 in Kusek, Kazakhstan. He is the son of Asimbala Sagdiyev and Boltok the Rapist, who is also his maternal grandfather. He is also the former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Mariam Tulyakbay and Boltok the Rapist. His relationship with his mother seems to be unpleasant, and Borat has commented that "she wishes she was raped by another man." Borat has a sister named Natalya, who is regarded as the 4th best prostitute in Kazakhstan, and with whom he often fornicates; a younger brother named Bilo, who is mentally retarded and must be kept locked behind a metal door or in a cage. In an interview, Borat said, "My brother Bilo has a small head but very strong arms. He have 204 teeth (193 in mouth 11 in nose)! You can do anything to him - he do not remember nothing! He is a sex crazy ... all day long he in his cage look on porno and rub rub rub!"

"......Borat's hobbies include ping pong, disco dancing, shooting dogs for fun, and taking pictures of women on the toilet....Borat claims to have the tightest anus of his village, tight enough to open a bottle of Pepsi."

"...He was sent by the Kazakh government and television network. He has also said that if his movie about the United States isn't successful, that he "will be executed".

Borat walks side by side with controversies. He himself is Jewish but he is seen as the flag bearer of anti-semitism. The tennis room chaps can recall Croat the weirdo had once nicknamed himself after Borat.

Toufee and clipmarks.

2006-11-06T23:55:00.000+05:30

I had added two extensions recently to my firefox. One was performancing and the other was clipmarks. Clipmarks made me stumbled upon this nice site called toufee,where u can make flash movies, banner, etc online. Its very simple and wd come in handy for a layman. I made my 1st movie .. and here it is..

PENis Mightier than Sword.

2006-11-05T23:05:00.000+05:30

Type: Theatrical
Skill: histrionics
Battle of CR-6 (CR= Class Room)

It looked hazy. I could only figure out some movements in between the woods. I took my position which was strategically apt for hiding from any offensive of the enemy.

Soon, the lord of the rings had entered. Everyone settled. My closest aide elbowed me to morning.

The tension in the air was palpable no one had a clue what the professor demanded when he said "How do u do appraisal of working capital loans". That was enough to disconnect me from the proceedings. I wanted to go back to sleep but, it was not to be so..

Looking at an complacent opponent, the guy sitting on right took out his naked shining pen .. and ***click*** my hand was almost pierced.. My mouth opened to gasp .. but the voice was choked within. (I hadn't expected he will take revenge for yesterday's powerful display of my penwork.)

I quickly searched for my pen ...only to find to my utter dismay "they" had it planned to perfection. All my accessories had already been removed. Only think i could do was to look at the watch and wait for the lecture to end.. while my adversaries kept bleeding me and ... their Gothic "muahahahahahaha".

Vodka Nites..

2006-11-01T22:59:00.000+05:30

3 bill : what's up ?
PG : Yaar, Kya boloon? (Dude, what should i say) I am always confused what to say when some one says WHASSUP.
Jay : say "nm"
PG : I usually say my silly thngs as "the sky" "the roof" etc.
Marli : or "the stars"
Chandu: "the constellation"
Marli: Like "orion"
Chandu : Orion?
Marli : Yeah a constellation
Chandu : yeah but I thought Orion is just a group of stars.
Jay : Thats what a constellation is .. ain't it?

PG: whatta intellectual discussion.

This was a week ago. We were intoxicated with the Vodka arranged by dubious means in this dry state. It was a surprise birthday treat for Tiru ... so who cares and i had Vodka after a long time.. Flipside's stupid birthday song. Cake. Dance. Jokes. Dope. grrrrrrr.

I repeated I had to send some important emails to an organization ..but they aint gonna leave me... and I sipped and sipped till I made some stupid SMS and prolly puked when i got back to my room.. I dont even remember if I did regurgitate.

So don feel like writing anymore.. just had a break from a hectic one week.. gonna sleep.

Camera. Lights and Action!!!!!

2006-10-23T15:27:00.000+05:30

Diwali started by wishing John some crap .. wished his tennis partner doesnt ring him (lmao and he didnt).. John wished I had an equally crap day.. Well he had almost got his pound of flesh.

I had to visit My sissy this year in diwali.. The joy of meeting her and playing with her son was there .. but was apprehensive of the Family setting on this occasion. We had a dinner with three other families.. did burst some crackers with lil kids.

Otherwise, I remained subdued through out; watching "Power Rangers" with kids and having good food. The noise and constant bickering was taking a toll on me.. Then one guy was running after his lil gal with his vid. cam .. Man!!!!!!.

I had my special moment too.

One old grandma : " Babu!!! kaaj korchho" ( kid!! do u work)
Jay : "dide!! Naa.. ekhono podhchhi" ( Grannny ..nah i am still studying)
Granny : "what do u study"
Jay : "MBA"
Granny : "aachha chinta koro na (ok don wry).. job to guaranteed"

and I nodded with appreciation of her foresight.

When I came back.. would some of the left overs on display. The dorm had put an effort to make a match of the decor competition too.

Though I didnt help much this yr.. in decor had helped in cleaning the dorm .. Didnt have enough enthusiasm to decorate or compete with the dorms who spend magnanimously.
Fachchas had done a lotsa work and prolly I missed a bit of fun with them.They had food together in Subway after pooja.

More pics are shared here >>

1. http://in.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jaykay19in/album?.dir=b3b9 (Last years pic)
2. http://in.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jaykay19in/album?.dir=a752re2 (this years pic)

Kill Bill.

2006-10-17T19:18:00.000+05:30

Rated : ***
Background Score : Nancy Sinatra and Jay

The shuttle was tossed up. Paro had hit her typically sharp crosscourt drop. The opponent picked it up but managed only to push it further to the midcourt.

The shuttle was high up in front of me in the mid court.

Paro (shouts): "Kill It !!"

I typically put it across another drop to an unreachable corner.

Paro (Giggles) : "Yeah, Kill it in your own way!"

Jay : ha ha ha.

Yeah So i am averse to smashing the shuttle. This was yesterday when we were playing a friendly with Paro on my side and her partner HAT on the other. They had just finished their semis.

oops!! now today I face them in the finals. Me and my partner aren't regular combination in Doubles. However, Paro and HAT are a regular combination and represented Uni also. Now Paro is so good that she plays in the men's doubles..

Grrrrr that doesn't mean if i lose i will be stigmatized for losing to her. She is damn good. Whereas her partner HAT is the most competitive guy in the whole campus. He would hate to lose to even a sparrow. Man!!! he smashes .. phewww!!!.

The match is just 1 hour away. Lets hope not too many people turn up ... well losing when ur seeded one ain't nice .. he he he.

See the Confidence ... hey!! wait... enough of .. losing right ..Gotta Kill Bill .. Revenge .. :P

choc-a-bloc

2006-10-13T19:28:00.000+05:30

This used to be the scenario in the 1st year. Prolly 3 am at nite.. preparing for a case for next day classes.

Where is Moi?? ;;)

2006-10-11T23:19:00.000+05:30

Been out whole day.. on a field trip in North Gujarat.

Oh .. John and Robbie's comments should be ignored if they drop any)

Badi mates frauding thier way to Mangement..

2006-10-11T22:21:00.000+05:30

vasuX 5774chalo: playing tonight ?
jay...Bhooke7721: Yes
vasuX 5774chalo: i will probably be there till 1.30am
jay...Bhooke7721: yes. guess i will be there.By the way was that a Skydiving school u joined ?

vasuX 5774chalo: one has to take a course before jumping solo
jay...Bhooke7721: Oh so u were under training here
vasuX 5774chalo: npe.. this was after i got my license.
jay...Bhooke7721: oh yeah it seemed so... u were a complete pro
vasuX 5774chalo: naaa.. in skydiving .. some one can call themselves a pro probably when they have done about 1000 jumps.
vasuX 5774chalo: i have done only 110
jay...Bhooke7721: 110 Jumps!!!!! yeah.. its a interesting sport. Theory of relativity .. u can call urself .. so .. here in India
:P
vasuX 5774chalo: its not about the jump count.. its skill level.. i will share some professional videos.. u will be surprised what all they can do
jay...Bhooke7721: Oh .. yeah sure
vasuX 5774chalo: check this>\\192.168.240.1\junk\adventure...check 77z.avi to see what skdyving is all about and my_dream is what I am planning to do next.
jay...Bhooke7721:that's kool. oh yeah ur adventure sports
vasuX 5774chalo: yeah.. and this is little too extreme.. the sports at that point where skydiving ends. :)
jay...Bhooke7721: hmm .. ur igniting the interest wthin me :|
vasuX 5774chalo: chalo raat mein milte hain (Ok c ya later tonite)
vasuX 5774chalo:accha.. ek info chahiye(wait, i want an Information)
jay...Bhooke7721: hmmm ok
vasuX 5774chalo: my internship is with unilever and most likely i will be doing a project on developing a market entry strategy for unilever on ethnic foods.. koyi pointers mil sakta hai about this topic ?
jay...Bhooke7721: yup can give u some, we can discuss this tonite.
vasuX 5774chalo: awesome.. ek baar projecct finalize ho jaaye.. (in another 3-4 days) and dwe will dicuss it
jay...Bhooke7721: Every one is doing project on food sector these days ..!!!!!!!!!!!1whats the matter
vasuX 5774chalo: yeh tho majboori hai.. unilever diya hai tho karna hi padega
jay...Bhooke7721:he he he he
vasuX 5774chalo: waise kuch din pahle ham apna international trade ke liye.. global opps for indian agriculture pe kuch kiya that
jay...Bhooke7721: See!!! again agriculture :| and its all global 8-vasuX 5774chalo: waise.. apna analysis ke hisaab .. picture itna rosy nahi nikla.. but agar prof chahta hai rosy banaaye tho we painted a nice pic.. actually it was about organic products markets. and opps for indian agri..
vasuX 5774chalo: india mein bahut fight hai organic farming ka .
jay...Bhooke7721: Organic product isnt the in India.
coz abhi itna food demand hai ki we cant feel the tummy even wth chemical Inputs
vasuX 5774chalo: yes.. i know moroever the other challenges.. like soil / water contaminated with fertilizers.. costsly certifications.. yeh sab bahut janjat waala hai.. typical farmer wouldnt want take this headache
jay...Bhooke7721: yeah true :) cola brands carrying the pesticides
yeah north east mein thida initiative hai .. but not to the level that it can be scaled up
vasuX 5774chalo: yup.. bahut analysis kiya ..aur at the end we had to fudge stories.. ki organic badiya hai karke.. because that is what prof believed :(((
jay...Bhooke7721: lmao!! This is called framing the situation according to the persuadee's will to .. persuade him for better marks
vasuX 5774chalo: aaj ek aur fraud course katam kiya(we finished one more fraud course today).. international business.. wee evaluated pakistan as an opp for FDI and invested several billion dollars and convinced the class and prof that it is indeed a good opp
jay...Bhooke7721: :)))))))
vasuX 5774chalo: and couldnt control laugh when prof comments that it was one of the best reports and presentation :))
jay...Bhooke7721: Risk Analysis Nahin kiya .. it depends on the whims and fancy of the one who rules the army
jay...Bhooke7721: Best report :)) laughing my fucking ass off. LAxmi Mittal 8-| would be proud of u.
vasuX 5774chalo: kiye hai.. idar udar ka fanda lagaaya hai .. jayant verma ka ek case padaaya tha.. how to invest in some god forsaken country jaha pe political instability hai.. saare fundae udar se utaake idarr daala bas :)
vasuX 5774chalo:serious fraudgiri hai
jay...Bhooke7721: he he after all we are the best Institute of fraudgiri :))
vasuX 5774chalo: but the kind of conviction with which we and in general eeveryone, pulls off is amazing
vasuX 5774chalo: yeah wd be a strange feeling when u look at urself at the mirror :|
vasuX 5774chalo: hmm..
vasuX 5774chalo: chalo.. me off to dinner and see u later.
vasuX 5774chalo: btw, what time does the ppt start ?

jay...Bhooke7721:at 9 ....X is also attending ??
vasuX 5774chalo: itna lamba chalegea ?(so long)
vasuX 5774chalo: which company u said.. i forgot.
vasuX 5774chalo: no i may not go some1 else is handling
jay...Bhooke7721: *******
vasuX 5774chalo: may be some RM wll be there to meet them and to give gyan about the batch
jay...Bhooke7721: Arre baap dada waali beaurocratic company hai..... Saare College ke pass outs hain wahan.( Its our dad's company .. filled with alumni)
vasuX 5774chalo: abhi tho its important we create a buzz in the corporate.. isi liye thoda jaake milke aate hai
vasuX 5774chalo: he he he jaroor t will end in an Hour.
vasuX 5774chalo: .. ciao later
jay...Bhooke7721:bye

Persuadeeeeeeeee...

2006-10-09T22:38:00.000+05:30

Persuasive communication started with a lot of hullaballoo... However, I am glad that its coming to end. Tomorrow I will be submitting my scrap book on persuasive illustrations in everyday life, I collected in last month.

For the Great Persuader .. we did our Gandhigiri. The season was on coz of lage rahe Munnabhai(carry on munnabhai). Funnily "it is" like a bit of the British carry on series as it follows the hit prequel(sans the sex and crap in it). It has been entered into the Oscar race not in the foreign film category but in the mainstream. That makes it three Indian films in this Oscars. Water by Deepa Mehta is Canada's entry. India's official entry is Rang de Basanti (Color me saffron).Whoaaa!! we had so many movies to chose from this time... That Omakara couldn't make it is so sad. :(

2 days back, Robbie had said he is gonna watch Munnabhai. :-?

We made a movie of Gandhi clippings ..Put in a lot of Persuasion theories in between and played his favorite songs flute version in the background.

[It was surprising, how much material we could collect from our batch mates and we always thought we don't respect him or ignore his ideas.]

We illustrated it with Scenes from Munnabhai.

Munna and circuit have become iconic. There are a lot of Munna-circuit jokes doing the rounds. Jokes arent as gr8 but they r sweet specially with Munna and circuit in mind.

MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai? (Circuit, what the fuck is this ford!!)
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai. (Big bro, its vehicle)
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai? (Then, what's oxford)
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.(bole to, Its simple, its a bullock cart)

Lets teach the nerds...

2006-10-01T17:50:00.000+05:30

They were roaming around in the campus with a black T-shirt on, which splashed on the back "Lets teach the nerds how to play ball".

They belong to the 85 member strong contingent of IIM B , who have come here to put us down and proof we are all about Academics. Our rivalry is gonna soon find its place in the annals.

It was the 1st day , we had lost the cricket match badly. Mates came back and said we were being too nice a host ... and that the guests been sledging big time.

We didnt do much had our usual tempo shouts and we put up a banner "Sangharsh finally helped u enter IIMA"(Sangharsh is the name of the competition between us and IIM B) The next match was Badminton.. for which i have been practicing the whole week at the expense of Garba, dandiya and all other festivities.

They had a strong team held together by an inter IIT Champion. We thought of putting me as the 2nd singles player and increasing the probability of playing their 2nd best player and hence making a chance of atleast winning one singles. But at the last moment we said forget the trick and lets go with a simple order. I was put on top. And i drew the champ.

The 1st game was on.

He was clearly under my noose with me winning the 1st game easily. The second game I presented to him in a platter. He was clearly tired.. I was playing well but my serves weren't going right. Too many mistakes for a game of that standard.

In that last game my unforced errors continued. Hitting on the ground ... shots that were fed to me high above the net. serves outside and on the net. Still I managed to fight back to 11 - 11. And again I made like 4 unforced errors to give him the game at 15 - 12.

The score read 2-1 but I was happy for I won hearts and was a moral victor ( that's what a loser says .. right!!) .. but hey !!! there were chicks coming to me patting me and saying u were better just hard luck..(whoppa) even from the opponents camp and there was this French gal who said " nvm that u lost , but u have such a good game :D" . Hey i know i am boasting and stuff but I really loved what I did.

The team went on to win 6-1. The 1 was the only game they won against me ( so sad :(). Yeah my team patted me cause I tired their best guy out and they forfeited the doubles game against me.

We leveled the overall score between the universities to 1-1. Later, we won the Tennis also. The events gonna go till 2nd October.

I came back, missed Softy and an another gal so much. I enjoyed the whole night with some vodka and videotaped myself singing Sutta and GMD.

3 a.m. ..Still alive!!!

2006-09-29T03:19:00.000+05:30

I came back from the practice (already 11:30 pm).. was very tired. I surfed for a while. Then, I contacted study group members. They had already divided the work(for the day's presentation) .. The topic that wasn't chosen by anyone , was to be done by me. However, it could only be started if someone else would have sent me after completing his part... I asked him and he said I should sleep and wake up early by then he will complete and send me. I was hungry (had missed my dinner). I slept at 12:30 am and woke up at 2:30 am.. I was hungry but didn't have enough to order from canteen. So i walked down to the floor's pantry. It was dark and everyone was asleep. Suddenly, one door flung open letting a dim light pour outside from the room.

I picked up a cake and some lays from the pantry, slowly strolled towards the room and I asked to the figure in semi darkness.

Jay: "Christopher, u didn't sleep or just woke up?"

Christopher:"nah, i didn't sleep"

Jay: "Y so? u used to sleep early and it's 3 a.m."

Christopher: "Nothing much. I am an Indian"

p.s. Christopher is a French student , here on exchange programme for one term.

Faux News Vs Clinton.

2006-09-27T15:02:00.000+05:30

The Clinton outburst starts of on a cautious note.. but increasingly becomes.. Funny.

High cost being in Global eye.

and as u have seen this .. look how the media wants its pound of flesh.

Baptism...by ire.

2006-09-24T17:04:00.000+05:30

Its been late to put it here. The dorm naming ceremony was over like 2 months back.However, we have been joined by two exchange students Fabian and Christopher. Two days back we conducted the "Story session" (on which the dorm names are based) for the two.

This is the draft that I had prepared for this years dorm naming ceremony. We have to make certain changes for the two new exotic inhabitants of our dorm cause we don't feel we can subject them to such a rustic and sadistic pleasure of ours.

The Draft

Maxi as the God's own thundering voice :
"We residents of Dorm 17 , welcome everyone to the most coveted and respected ceremony of our Dorm. Dorm 17 over the years has seen its transition from being Swarga Satrah (the heaven seventeen) to the Dorm of Love and now to an inflection point Of being the Dorm of lust. Now, as the baton has to be passed to the new batch of 17 shockers we have gathered to bless the noobs with dorm names. Dorm names not only represent a tag but it is the identity of the ones existence and oozes property of the orgasmic pleasure that being a WIMWIAN provides to its students. Everyone has carried the Dorm Name with pride.. and hope the next batch of our warriors do the same."

"I hereby Formally announce the ceremony open."

Steps to the glory and pseudo intellectual tranquility:-

Step 1: Bows

Step 2: (Rubby exemplifies) I formally known as .......... today in this auspicious day ....announce that my name would be " " henceforth. True to the "....." tradition of the Dorm 17 takes the oath that i will carry the dorm name with pride rest of my life as a WIMWIAN.

Step 3: water to be poured on the feet (of dorm God).

Step 4: Bows in all direction to respect the presence of omnipresent Almighty.
Step 5: Proudly present (LOUDLY) ur name ot the dorm God and bow three times .

The stigma and the stigmatized were :-

Prateeek = Lotion

Siddhartha = Monty

Himanshu = Rusky

Tarun = Silo

Sourjo = Volvo

Vivek = Pyro

Apbhramaya = Auntie (now has been changed to be a less pinching name)

Garjun = Bubbles

Amit = jhalak

Jugal = Cryo

Laloo ji : The prince and the pauper..

2006-09-19T23:51:00.000+05:30

11:00am .. phone call. I was asleep .. and soon classes were to follow. geez!!!! the phone.

Himanshu : aur kya bol rahen hain laloo ji.. mile ya nahin. (So, what's Laloo saying.. did u meet him or not).

and the phone calls kept pouring for the whole day. This would be the story of each student in the campus.

Laloo is such a phenomenon for media. His rustic image and his funny comments are despised by the so called elite and celebrated by others at the same moment. Whatever u say .. u just cant ignore this guy.Now, he is the Railway Minister and under him the ailing Railways have seen a turnaround in its financial fortunes. There is a case study under Prof. Raghuram on this turnaround. Laluji was called on to share his experience in managing Railways.

I had my classes and only 50 students were allowed into the class room for a healthy discussion to take place(selection: on 1st come 1st basis.) I had missed out on that. Adding to this, there was a 120 page case to be read and presented b4 the faculty and then faculty selected 4 ppts for the D day (too much pain tha yaar!!!!).

The usual story u can listen from all the places I will give some inside the class insights.

In the class room :

(The gal in there is Sachi.. and (in the right pic) there is Ashok(aka chhui mui) and Manish (aka BoBs i call him Boobs).

Lalooji was flanked by two of his Railway officers, who were to deal with technical aspects.

There were too many ppl in the class room. Prof. asked some of them to leave. When they didn't buzz. Prof. asked Lalooji "if they are among the ones who were included in the list to attend".

Laloo: aye!! chalo jao .. bola na. baad mein baat kar lena (hey! go.. i said go. get in touch later.)
some of them were top rung officials in Railways.

discussion continued, presentation, technical stuff on how the unit cost has decreased, is this a turnaround and stuff.

Most intriguing part : Prof. Raghuram's Hindi and Lalooji's interpretation of Raghuram's English.

lmao. Prof. Raghuram ain't proficient in Hindi and Laloo ji is not the most adept in English speaking.

Some Q was asked by Prof. Lalooji obv. didn't understand. He gets up to answer.
Prof R : sir, its ok you can answer from there.
Lalooji : Baith ke bhi koi padhata hai kya. yahan padhane aaye hain. (who teaches .. in standing position.I have come here to teach.)

Lalooji was tucked in those little microphone in his color. Asst: mic is fit. you can speak now.

Lalooji: but where is the mic. (gesturing by holding his hand as if he is holding those big mics on hand while his speaches.)

giggles.

Lalooji says thanks to all .. how gr8 he felt etc and finished by thanking all.

An IAS elbows him consistently (they have been slipping in notes as to what is to be said throughout his speach). Lalooji: "kya hai"

IAS: sir, u forgot the director. Lalooji: " oh haan .. thank you director sahab also"

Quote : I only patted the right people for their work and didn't interfere.

Later, in press conf. someone asked :"sir, had u not been leader what do u think u would have been"

Laloo : "kya bakwaas hai .. leader nahin hote to leader hote" ( bull crap, had i not been leader, i would have been a leader)

journalist: "sir,... but still"

Lalooji: "ye koi sawaal hai. jab main bakri charata tha to leader tha. jab main guy charata tha to leader tha. college mein leader aur ab bhi leader ... aur itne saalon ke baad poochhte ho leader nahin hota to.. Leader hota"

( is this a Q!!!!!, when i used to goad goats and cows i was a leader. I was a leader in college. I am a leader now.. and after so many years u ak me if i wasn't a leader.. I wd have been a leader"

******************************************************************
Later at nite, Dad called.

Dad: " How was your new teacher...we are looking for u in the television"
Jay: " hahahaha"

******************************************************************
here is a vid that someone captured.

Lightning strikes..

2006-09-17T18:58:00.000+05:30

some one captured this .. in today's heavy rains..The view is from Dorm 20 in the new campus. Ironical .. for the completion of exactly one month of a similar strike in life. Nice pic.

The ground .. u see, has been dug to search for King Solomon's goldmine.

New template and lost comments..

2006-09-16T20:07:00.000+05:30

Sounds like the name of next flick from Jay and Silent Bob..

I changed my layout.. finally. Ppl kept pressing me to change it ..I don't really love too many template changes. I used to have a myspace account and i had a green profile that stayed there for like forever.

I had a few difficulties in fixing this profile but finally was able to do. I will keep bringing some modifications.

Funny thing (soos, eltu, John) is ppl said they have been commenting on my posts..wtf !! and i cudnt see anything .. I figured i clicked comment moderation and didnt put any email address.. so all the comments posted by them were sent to me for approval but i never received any. But now i have fixed that.

Meanwhile, i checked out Christopher's Blog. The layout is not a blogger's delight but the enthusiasm of being in India is inescapable. His interest in photography, soccer and making friends is so evident on his page.

Last nite at 2:00 am, I took a break from watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" and strolled around the floor.. saw Christopher's door open.. he was making movies from those numerous pics he has collected during his journey. He said: " that's for my family and friends".

Exchange ...Time..

2006-09-05T20:31:00.000+05:30

New term has begun after a 10 days break. Thankfully during the registration we didn't have to bring in as many books as it used to be b4.

This term is said to be the coolest term .. in the sense that lot of activities other than academics is involved and Academic load is less.this is also the term wherein we get a chance to go for exchange (overseas) and exchange students come in our college.

Most students come to our college from France[15], Italy[6] and Scandinavia[6]. Some expat Indians take this opportunity to get back to their homeland.
to maintain the legacy this year also one Italian and one French guy has been alotted to our Dorm.

Last year Tomosso[Italian] and Clement [Italian] let us njoy thier pinching comments on each others' nation about Soccer [big rivalry] and lifestyle during our Dorm get-togethers.

This time Christopher [French] has joined us in my floor , in Rubby's room (Rubby is off to NUS,Singapore in exchange and i m njoying his cooler).

Had a brief chat with Christopher , he seems a bubbly guy .. typical interest in footer and said " hey i have come to learn English here so lets talk". he he

In the Persuasive Communication class I had a brush with other Exchange students TOM, Amelie and Sara.

Goona start a new blog on this class.. Its fun being out there.

Hey! goota go, TEACHERS DAY CELEBRATIONS are starting in the Auditorium.
So, lets say a good beginning to the new term .. helps me forget some of the setbacks i suffered in last couple of months.

College mates..

2006-09-01T19:25:00.000+05:30

My B.pharm college mates have joined hands again in a yahoo group. It is so refreshing to Know wassup with them. All thanks to Sweta for starting the group and yeah cheers to me .. i am a moderator now.

I didnt expect lot of ppl to start posting .. but can see a lot of activity right now. Well, generally there is a excitement generally at the start and it slowly dies down. Hopefully, it wd continue.

Devdeep has posted .. our 1st year pics too .. he he .. i look wierd .

Damn rather than blogging i am busy moderating it.

Click to join bpharm98

Tennis_balla_shot_calla and blogging

2006-08-05T13:53:00.000+05:30

Business communication classes has been strange.We have to put a poster on the walls, where someone else would comment on it. Everyday, I am hit on with some nasty realty.

On last wed. I had a business presentation. The topic could have been any random topic.I was to be marked on my presentation skills and how can I improve my skills.

I slept till 5 am in the morning and I had like 3 hrs left to think of an idea and prepare practice dress and go to get the screw.

Lol and i ended up in the tennis room discussing .. "how croatians make the best gay"(random don't even think bout it.. bad for health). but yeah meanwhile I struck upon the idea of making a business presentation on blogging.
and i did.... i wanted to put my blog in a slide as demo... however, it was this time that it had to happen (Murphy's law: if something can go wrong it will).... DoT Tricks were at it again .. Blogger blocked.

Thankfully, I was talking to one of the meanest assholes in the world... John otherwise known as tennis_balla_shot_calla.
"

John (02/08/2006 6:42:57 AM): you don't know how to tie a tie?
John (02/08/2006 6:43:09 AM): it's over under loop and swoop or something like that
John (02/08/2006 6:43:18 AM): surely you can look it up on the internet
Jay (02/08/2006 6:43:38 AM): well good idea
Jay (02/08/2006 6:43:44 AM): but wanna prepare my own
John (02/08/2006 6:44:19 AM): noo I think you are misinterpreting what I'm asking
John (02/08/2006 6:44:32 AM): what do you mean when you said find a guy that will tie my knot?
John (02/08/2006 6:44:46 AM): or I'm misinterpreting what you're saying
Jay (02/08/2006 6:45:08 AM): i have to go in formals today
Jay (02/08/2006 6:45:21 AM): someone i need to tie the knot of my tie
Jay (02/08/2006 6:45:38 AM): its so embarrassing i cant do one properly myself till today
John (02/08/2006 6:46:31 AM): ok so I did understand you. so why can't you look it up on the internet. There's got to be some idiot that put it out there somewhere because of helpless people like yourself
Jay (02/08/2006 6:47:33 AM):
Jay (02/08/2006 6:47:36 AM): idiot
Jay (02/08/2006 6:47:49 AM): It comes wth practice
John (02/08/2006 6:48:05 AM): I mean smart guy because there's a lot of people that don't know how too. I didn't learn till I was out of college
John (02/08/2006 6:48:19 AM): and since you're technically still in college I guess you're ok. Even though you are 56
Jay (02/08/2006 6:52:53 AM): come on
Jay (02/08/2006 6:52:58 AM): make osme slides for me
Jay (02/08/2006 6:53:02 AM): some*
Jay (02/08/2006 6:53:13 AM): ii am making a ppt on Blogs
John (02/08/2006 6:53:44 AM): http://www.tie-a-tie.net/windsor.html
Jay (02/08/2006 6:53:58 AM): oh 1st lemme prpare the ppt
John (02/08/2006 6:54:06 AM): http://www.scoutdb.org/h2tat/
John (02/08/2006 6:54:43 AM): I think the 2nd one might be better just remember if you're looking at the picture it's going to be opposite
Jay (02/08/2006 6:59:12 AM): make a few god damn slides John
John (02/08/2006 7:00:11 AM): of what? I don't know what your presentation is on or am I supposed to have a presentation on how to tie a tie. I gave you 2 perfectly good websites
Jay (02/08/2006 7:00:26 AM): bad boy
Jay (02/08/2006 7:00:33 AM): i am making a ppt on blogs
Jay (02/08/2006 7:00:41 AM): i have 45 minutes more
John (02/08/2006 7:03:47 AM): does al gore's myspace count as a blog anyways I'm sorry I don't know how to help you as I'm blog ignorant becuase I don't do that stuff
Jay (02/08/2006 7:29:56 AM): hey thats ok , i need 10 more minutes to finish this off
John (02/08/2006 8:12:16 AM): grr how do I do a screenshot again?
Jay (02/08/2006 8:12:29 AM): fuk click the print acreen
John (02/08/2006 8:13:27 AM): fuk where the hell is that?
Jay (02/08/2006 8:15:06 AM):
Jay (02/08/2006 8:15:17 AM): near the insert button
Jay (02/08/2006 8:18:21 AM): grr i am putting someone else's blog
John (02/08/2006 8:19:23 AM): I messed it up anyways I believe
John (02/08/2006 8:19:45 AM): for some reason it's showing my desktop on the side of the page
Jay (02/08/2006 8:20:17 AM):
Jay (02/08/2006 8:20:20 AM):
John (02/08/2006 8:20:31 AM): ok here let me try it real quick again
John (02/08/2006 8:21:12 AM): see if this is any better hurry up and accept this invitation though
John (02/08/2006 8:22:10 AM): hmm nope just cut off some of it fuck if I know what the deal is I only had your website showing
John (02/08/2006 8:25:19 AM): ah ha I got it if you're still there
Jay (02/08/2006 8:26:19 AM): thanx

So, i inserted the screenshot into the presentation and ran to the class.

Only later did i realize that .. what is the setting .. for such a presentation. I cooked up something like this:

Setting: I am part of the HR team in a software organization which wants to bring in corporate blogging in its cyberculture and in future is looking to horizontally integrate into e-business.

Presentation: basics, types of blogs, key factors and issues, basic structure of blog , and a business model/corporate blogging.

Various Comments: Clever idea.
One should not have his tie poking out from the coat, below.
Good answer on privacy issue.
Prolly if u stand upright it will help.

thanx tennis balla.

Romanian lessons..

2006-07-28T06:42:00.000+05:30

Jay: grrrrrrrrrrilla
Jay: english plz
Jay: :(
Criss elta: da da ... uite acum
Jay: teri gaand mein danda de
Criss elta::|
Criss elta: teri gaand mein danda de jay
Jay: u wanna make me install it
Criss elta: pai cam asta era ideea
Jay: the romanian dictionary ?
Criss elta: pai dap
Jay: what is it
Criss elta: ahh something u'll not gonna find there in the dictionary
Criss elta: wanna find it?
Jay: yep
Jay: but not using the dictionary
Jay: :|
Criss elta: okay
Jay: ha ha ha
Jay: u tell me
Criss elta: wait
Jay: ok
Jay: waiting
Criss elta: i am = eu sunt
you are = tu eşti
he/she is = el/ea sunt
we are = noi suntem
you are = voi sunteţi
they are = ei[masc.] / ele [fem.] sunt

Criss elta: "to be" [present] in romanian
Criss elta: "a fi" [prezent] in română
Criss elta: limba română = romanian language
Criss elta: the corect script
Criss elta: eu sunt româncă
Criss elta:
Jay: lol
Criss elta: ai prins ideea?
Jay: i was sleeping i just woke up
Criss elta: 8-|
Jay: :P
Criss elta: ok i'm too boring for u
Jay: ur soo lovely eltu .. cute and sweet
Jay: was kidding
Jay: :P
Criss elta:
Criss elta: ok....to believe u or not to believe u
Jay: :|
Criss elta: that's teh question
Criss elta: :-?

Jay: u kno u can believe me
Jay: remember that pic of urs
Jay: i am a trusted frnd
Criss elta: ahh.. and eram= i was [past time]
Criss elta: lol
Jay: ok lol
Criss elta: erai=you were
Criss elta: and so on
Criss elta: :>
Jay: lol
Criss elta: they were = ei erau
Criss elta:
Jay: tell me somethng important, not these thngs
Jay: like
Criss elta: ok what
Jay: come to my room today ... translate
Jay:
Criss elta: vino în camera mea astăzi
Criss elta: corect
Criss elta: something else?
Jay: he he he
Jay: cool
Criss elta: but u'll not gonna learn romanian like that
Criss elta: that*
Jay: it will help coz i already kno .. do u wanna sleep wth me
Jay: =))
Criss elta: ok ask me something else
Criss elta: :|
Criss elta: i'm waiting
Jay: ok
Criss elta: something to talk with suga or razv
Criss elta: or steffi
Criss elta:
Jay: eltu u a sweet gal
Jay: translate ^^Criss elta: crisu eşti o dulceaţă de fată
Criss elta: ;;)
Criss elta: :|
Jay: :)
Jay: and translate >> Jay is awesome
Jay: :))
Criss elta: jay e minunat/incredibil
Criss elta: :|

Criss elta: e=este
Jay:
Criss elta: the short form
Jay: he he he
Criss elta:
Criss elta: and something for suga ?
Criss elta:
Jay: thanx teacher
Jay: Suga ... ur sucha nice frnd
Jay: see only nice thngs for frnds
Criss elta:
Jay: lol
Criss elta: suga eşti o prietenă de încredere/ suga eşti o prietenă bună
Jay: lol kool
Criss elta: draguţă=nice [abt. a girl]
Jay: and tell me .. somethng i wanna say t o my galfrnd or may be u .... " i wanna kiss u now"
Criss elta: draguţ=nice [abt. a boy]
Criss elta: me not
Criss elta: ur girlfriend ok
Jay: lol
Jay: :))
Jay: i was bout to kiss ur forehead only or may be hands
Criss elta: for me: "vreau să-ţi dau un pupic acum" ; and for ur girlfriend: "vreau să te sărut acum"
Criss elta: pupic=kiss on the cheek
Criss elta:
Jay: lol trans;late the two in hindi
Jay: english i mean
Jay:
Criss elta: acum/ în acest moment = now/ right now
Jay: wow
Jay: eltuuuu
Jay: vreau să-ţi dau un pupic acum
Jay: thanx
Jay: thanx = ?
Criss elta: i translated late coz i was searching for "î" "ş" "ă" "ţ
Criss elta:
Jay: ha ha ha ok
Jay: how do u say thanx?
Criss elta: thanx=mersi ; thank you = mulţumesc
Jay: oh yes
Jay: mulumesc
Jay: multumesc*
Criss elta: yeap with "ţ"
Criss elta:
Jay:
Jay: teacher i wanna sleep now
Criss elta:
Jay: Its 6 and i have classes from 9
Jay: and then presentation
Criss elta: are u sure u learnt enough to let u free?
Criss elta: ohh...joking
Jay: umm i will come bak to u
Criss elta: go and sleep then
Criss elta:
Jay: thank u ma'm
Jay: multumesc
Jay: i wanted to write poems in Romanian
Criss elta: hey if u wanna surprize suga or some other romanian
Jay: yep i wanna surprise themm
Criss elta: say mulţam instead of mulţumesc or mersi
Criss elta: mulţam is used between friends, buddies or mates
Jay: aah kewl
Criss elta: it sounds cool
Jay: but ur my teacher
Jay: remember
Criss elta: yeap
Jay: multam
Criss elta: and u must use "î" "ş" "ă" "ţ" "â" to look like real and corect romanian
Jay: oh
Criss elta: Romania = România
Criss elta:
Jay: but in typing, hardly anyone uses them
Jay: â is pronounced aaa
Criss elta: nah
Criss elta: the way it is pronounced is totally different than english
Jay: oh
Criss elta: for example ur "a" for us it sounds like "ei"
Jay: oh okiess
Criss elta: nah... and it doesn't mean the same thing
Jay: doesnt
Jay: i am confused
Jay: oye proff enuff or the day
Jay: i am forgetting wht u said b4
Criss elta: if u ever wanna learn read ronanian u must learn the pronuanction first
Jay: ok ok
Criss elta: a , b, c, d ,..... sounds really different
Criss elta: i hope i'll buy soon a microphone
Criss elta:
Jay: lol i am goona copy past eit in my blog
Jay: paste*
Criss elta: ahh.. yeah ur blog
Criss elta: i know it
Jay: lol u do
Criss elta: i have one too
Jay: u never vivit it
Jay: visit*
Criss elta: it's in romanian
Jay: i kno u write only romanian

**************************************88
Jay: bye bye
Jay: noapte buna
Criss elta: maybe u'll use the dictionary too
Jay: never
Criss elta:
Criss elta: post those lines too!!
Jay: lololol
Criss elta: încăpăţânatule!!!!
Jay: grrrrrrilla

Account No.8888

2006-07-25T18:35:00.000+05:30

(from - a documentary in our Strategy class about Nick Leeson.)

Nick Leeson ..looks a normal guy who has the wonderful capability to charm the people surrounding him. He is a manager of a Football team, a job he has earned with so much effort.Apart from that he has a book and a royalty from a movie made on that book.
Most likely u willl find this guy delivery what is a "post dinner talk" where he explains
how he duped an age old bank to be sold for 1 pound.
Flshback ...Early 90s....
Nick was an ambitious young man when he moved from Morgan Stanley to Barings Bank ( the oldest merchant bank from England). The oldest bank had a laid back organisational structure. So, they were overly excited to bring back the glory days when Nick Leeson newly moved into thier futures business(Singapore) and showed profits.. But thier faith was toyed with:-

Nick would ask for money from the London office which was passed to him without proper investigation.Nick would say he needed the money for Clients to pay thier margin money to the exchange.He would buy futures on his own (with that money) and hide the losses in a secret account 8888. The auditors cud never detect that there existed such an account which had so much money leaked into it. Nick screwed the software/computer network so that the account was undetected. He would gamble with company's money. Once, he gambled heavily and pulled it off wiping all the previous losses. Then due to a natural calamity the market started to go southwards.. everyone was loosing money. Nick again decided to go against the tide and gamble by buying more futures... this time he asked for more than 800 million pounds. To his own surprise he managed to get it. Howver, he was unable to pull this gamble .. he figured heavy losses which he again hid in the secret account. Stress on him was increasing .. and often he would seek support from his wife, who was too happy with the amount of money that Nick would bring home.
And then he left some note and vanished ... the bell was rung by himself... but prolly it was too late .. by the time company found such heavy losses... it cudnt do anythng to bind it. The company was to be sold.
Barings had illustrious clientele like sultan of brunie.. but he cudnt be contacted on time... England govt. refused to bail it out.. and Barings was sold to ING for one pound.

Nick was sentanced 6 and half years of prison. He was let go aftr 4 yrs cause of good beahviour. He wrote a book "Rouge Trader" for which he recieved heaps of money and then it was made into a movie Nick again recieved a fortune as royalty. He is now a manager of a football club, A job he earned with hard effort cause of his credibilty issues in various attempts.

He delivers a lectures and shows and is interviewed as to HOW HE PULLED IT OFF.
His wife divorced him to marry another trader ( guess
!! she wont miss his money).

Whatta rejuvination after single handedly .. sinking a fortune.

***************************************************************************

Nick's secretary : "Nick was such awesome guy ... dynamic (giggle)... shouting sell ..sell!!!!...... we all wanted to be so famous and popular .. when Nick was caught we were like wow! Mick u made it."

The then CEO :" I donno how he did it. prolly his intentions.. he was too smart..."

Nick :" they were Stupid" (giving him millions wthout enquiring why).
"I thought i will be caught in next 2 days.. but it never happened.. and i grew in confidence".

!Xobile

2006-07-22T23:51:00.000+05:30

Russel Peters Is a funny Canadian guy of Indian Origin.Cracks a lot racial and community jokes and spares no one... but Indians suffer the most.

Its hard to find a good Indian Standup Comedian. He and Rajiv satyalmake the duo of Superb Indian Comedians(he is a PnG executive by day and a comedian by nite).

I found a video .. lol check at !Xobile and The Italians Part towards the end.

Return of the Syth

2006-07-22T15:48:00.000+05:30

Oye .. yeah It works... The Indian Authorities been acting like some crazy Chinese officials trying to block the freedom of speach.

DoT was banning sites (ISPs coordinated with them..) and among the list of the 20 bannned sites .. Blogger was one.. Thankfully the ban on blogger has been lifted.

Relief!!! that its up and running.

Between lemme tell u bout this Blogger community ,,, of a crazy bunch of freaks.. i happened to visit through Tennis room.

Lol!! they r kewl and so integrated... i loved to visit thier pages. they include Simonn and his friends like alina, Christina.. and so on....( ha ha nice funny gals).

What else, saw a few russel peters vids on u tube... will soon put them on the blog..

I am just happy to be bak.

NDTV's Book corner

2006-07-08T02:38:00.000+05:30

I don have much of patience to finish off books.So, to fuel my reading habits I resort to articles, essays, book reviews, etc and the sources would be newpapers, magazines and web resources.

NDTV has already become a phenomenon by capturing the so called Indian elite.As I dont watch much of TV these days, I visit the site.

It caters with a gamut of interesting categories.. a few days back I was bugged by its' books section. Apart from regular happenings in the literary world.. .. it gives one the opportunity to visit the reading room. There u find the savior of a lazy bum like me .."the book extracts"...the peephole owrth reading.
I read some extracts from books .. and I liked three confessions of an economic hit man,The Argumentative Indian and Ideas That Have Worked .
Yep .. NDTV presents the right blend of Indian and International literature..
Hmmm, as expected non fictions rule the roost.
Wish I could really indulge in reading the whole books, the extracts of which hold so much promise (definitely would be betta than watching a superman returns).

walkin in the rains..

2006-07-05T14:09:00.000+05:30

Sharad Babu's Food King

2006-06-30T15:05:00.000+05:30

The 1st week for fuchchas is coming to a tremendous climax... and we are also busy in the whole melodrama.. hence, i didn't have the time to prepare for the retail management class.
The teacher said "whoever hasn't read the case of handleman's music business, can leave the class".
one by one students started leaving.. I didn't..coz I had already missed two classes .. it would have led to shortage of attendance for me..I stayed quite and pondered over the academic dishoensty, immoral and unethical conduct that i just committed.

Surely, I wanted the class to end soon ... so that the agony would end.
..I didnt have much to offer to the class.. the only time my eyes lit up was when the prof. said "what is the difference between metal and rock"... only to dip in dissappointment soon,when he went on to add "...with respect to the inventory turnover and the volume sales in a retail store". ...gosh! not my day.

However, the prof. announced that he is goona leave us early to attend the "FOOD KING " inauguration.

Whoa!!! we were there for the inauguration.. it is a small food joint in the new campus.

After the buzz and little giggles about the fact that today we goona have free food .. we could see Sharad Babu coming with Bakul Dholakia (the director).

As the flames were lighted and the ribbon was cut ,, it was greeted with more cheer and giggles.

Finally, we heard the ring of the bell to leave, when we heard Prof . Raghuram saying "every one will pay"... lmao .. how come sir!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Yeah but we left with an appreciation and respect in our mind for Sharad Babu .. not just because he has been cherished by media or documentries made on him. Well for a guy from the streets to rise to this level and then declining the peer pressure of a luxuriant life .. chosing to be different and an entrepreneur in the food sector .. should be appreciated. He has started FOOD KING from the campus... thats good. Lets hope FOOD KING gives the McDs and Pizza-Huts a run for thier money.

.. wish ya luck Sharad !!

Mittal mettle

2006-06-29T17:34:00.000+05:30

Time for correction ... mittal again defied everythng to have his way ... didnt expect this time.. yeah Arcelor decided to merge wth mittal steels.. one big fat marriage this is.

eet eez tuchchadom

2006-06-23T01:25:00.000+05:30

After the summer's job, we landed bak in the campus with expectations of freedom and laziness to live wth in the campus... Tuchchadom(tuchchas= 2nd yrs).

The campus started with a lot of serious issues .. in the environment. the nation expected us to start our protest against the quota ... .however, we have our own issues to grapple with. Meetings after meetings with faculty as to "is the demand and tough work required in the IIMA life is justifiable or not" ",issues of ethics and all".

It is a grave concern ... coz tho u want to follow on the lines Harvard.. its not easy .. coz the life b4 and around IIM A in India is not bout ethics and hard work (acdemic dishonesty, cogging, respect ..etc etc). Hence, when we enter here we are not prepared for the hard work demanded of us.
We were briefed on Vishakha Issues( aparentlly supreme court guidelines on gender issues .. lol it brought out a lot of laughter from the crowd.. coz a few rules seemed crazy)...

and then the FREEDOM of INFORMATION issue (strictly means we will have to share a lot of information now.... and with the kind of media attention on the campus .. we were given guidelines to enact to preserve the privacy/pride of the campus).

and then the fun with fuchchas

and then fuchchas (1st year students) started to arrive.

lol it was fun .. they were dicussing "dude we can have the giant screen to watch the WC" "someone knocked my door .. hey!! can i have a movie to watch .. if u can share" "wtf!! the t.v. is not here .. what the ..."

tuchchas: laughter .. laughter laughter .. we lmao .. coz we knew all of them are here for a rude shock..

in the 1st year .. u don watch a footer match dude .. u study and study and sleep for at max 4 hrs a day... he he ..

and the best part as tuchchas while they study and cant get out of thier rooms .. we laugh at them and ... we tease them (our own experince)..

so today was the 1st day and we started shouting in chorus : "MUGGO FACHCHON MUGGO"
(study fuchchas study)..

and yeah today was 1st dorm meeting with dorm fuchchas too. It was ok, we briefed them bout what IIM A is all about.

During the meeting we had outside our dorm, gals (dorm 2) shouting : "DORM 17 ki le li ZIG ZAG ZIG ZAG."(we screwed dorm 17)

We retaliated with the traditional shouts :"D2 ki le li ZIG ZAG" .. It is about the Dorm pride.. we fight like that.. THE war of decibels..the one who outshouts wins.

and then we dunk them (pour water on them)... to repel thier voice attck on us..

and we did repel them... with new fuchchas ... and we shouted them out...

Damn ... my dormie dunked me tooo.. traitor... I have just dried myself and am writing this blog..

More fun to come.. Its TUCHCHADOM .. life of extreme enjoyment .. he he .

Nitie Delight

2006-06-09T23:23:00.000+05:30

I have always had high regards for NITIE, one of the less publicised names in ACADEMIC CAMPUSES.. However the way it attracts good candidate (who are hardcore and good tech grads, almost all engineers..) is to be appreciated.

So,while I am leaving mumbai I goota pay tribute to NITIE where I stayed for almost a month.. (yumm i got free net, was closer to office, and yeah awesome surrounding.. lakes ..powai lakes .. powai hills...) ..damn mumbai is kool ...on one end it has the sea and other end hills/jungles .

this is the view from my room >>

these two look gr8 and that is like the IIT mumbai in the middle of the lake

wheres lets look at the other end of NITIE .. away from town this is the VIHAR LAKE..

there is a story about VIHAR LAKE.. it is one of the lakes that supplies drinking water to mumbai.. and once DAWOOD (yep D company)challenged that he is goona have it poisoned... Since, then visitors entry was dissallowed in and around the area.. the adjoining hills and jungles are to say inhabited by wild animals.. and in 1996 or 98 leopards ventured around and killed some ppl... so like students dont go to this part afta evening (STRANGE.... MUMBAI has an end wth sucha JUNGLI story).. revealation

1st album published.

2006-06-06T23:16:00.000+05:30

I found www.purevolume.com while looking for uploaders.. and its kool.. So, I got an artists' id and a listeners' too.. and I published my 1st album>> CAMPUS BLUES. .. there was a purpose to put those songs on net. Ofcourse they aint mine. Except for those who can get offended by foul filthy language used others can CLICK IT>

Campus Blues is a compilation of songs , which have become popular across the college campuses.. and there is nothing official bout it. So to say ... I beg ya pardon for excessive use of SLANGS (he he ..not really). It comes outta the heart as it is. But the musical composition have to be appreciated wth its merit .. in fact some of them are really good and gr8 voices...(well, they sound funny too) .THESE COMPOSITION MARK A SOCIAL REVOLUTION ( he he not really).. next on line is on OBC reservation .

Sutta : the frustration of the "sutta waaalahs". hey did u see ppl knocking at wee hrs or early in the morning co zthey cant go to loo without it(read sutta).

GMD : melodious. yeah the voice is extremely good. It mocks at the plight of a MBA life. BANG ON. And thats y it has reasons to be successful and popular in and across the campuses.

Counter STRIKE : lmao. man ha ha ha .. hip hop mixed wth rap .. cool .. A gift to the CS ppl.

XLRI : catchy Punjabi.

Another day of Joy and Jay

2006-05-28T13:24:00.000+05:30

It was 6:30 am .. birds were making noise outside.. and i had just finished my "convo" and was bout to sleep.. then.. a flash of hand.. hits the jug and it falls on the bed.. water everywhere .. my Laptop :((.

I do whatever my rush of blood tells me to do..

I let it dry and stare at it pathetically.. my head spinning fr the amount of work i have to do in next week... damn cant do my "1 am chat stuff" :P and yeah a cash crunch.. i may lose the laptop ..

but yeah i cant see what is to be done wth a Laptop + water spillage nor can i get from online forum. see how grave the situation is!!!!!

and as I stay there still and confused .. suddenly.. i clutch my chest and wince in pain.(oh!! it was bak.. the chest pain.. its been 4 yrs.. it hits me.. being a medical xpert of the family .. he he .. neva told anyone else. BUT WHY NOW?). I
open my palm and check those dark lines again and the big breakage in there.The breakage suggests like somethng drastic to happen at around this time in my life...may be the time has come to say gudbye.. But some Palmist suggested its not the lifeline one .. it shows the mental condition .. so like i wd go insane.. but, that wont b a palpable change only 30 % i kno now dont consider me insane.. peanuts.. yep.

I have been in messier situations but this ranks among the top.. and when i am in messier situations, two thngs happen to me:-

1. i get creative thought(don start throwing laptops fr creativity)

2. i think of sleeping my ass off.

So, it was simple.. 1st ting 1st... I SLEPT.

Sword Fight in EuRoPe :

2006-05-27T14:04:00.000+05:30

on our left: richest indian on earth (afta me)... and oporpopor of biggest STEEL GIANT.

on our right: a dubious businessman of russian origin.

prize : ARCELOR , luxemburg the 2nd biggest steel corporate.

blows afta blows: Mittal’s original offer of 18.6 billion euros
ups the ante with 25.8 billion euros.

parapharnalia : govt. meetings and what not.. british indian french .. and half of the bloody europe.

the opponent : no one has heard till now of any moves.

the mood : no one wants the hedgemony of one kingpin in the STEEL INDUSTRY in whole world.

THE RESULT : ARCELOR GOes in bed wth the russian with the blessings of Vladimir Putin.

what that means for poor shareholders: they are goona have less say and arcelor handed its fotune to the will of a wary russian... instead of the more open, candid and better concern for the labor and shareholders, offered by mittal.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY : If u wanna avoid the hangman's noose .... SHOOT URSELF.

with love from PREMJI

2006-05-22T20:29:00.000+05:30

I have not been following much about him and last encountered his name .. while brushing through JACK WELCH'S .."straight from gut"...

..was just waiting for some witty retort from an industry doyen on reservation issue... and it came from him .. lemme hand over the mic to him.
AZIM PREMJI :

I think we should have job reservations in all the fields. I completely
support the PM and all the politicians for promoting this. Let's start
the reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10 percent
reservation for muslims. 30 percent for OBC, SC/ST like that. Cricket rules
should be modified accordingly. The boundary circle should be reduced
for an SC/ST player. The four hit by an OBC player should be considered
as a six and a six hit by a OBC player should be counted as 8 runs. An
OBC player scoring 60 runs should be declared as a century. We should
influence ICC and make rules so that the pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar
should not bowl fast balls to our OBC player. Bowlers should bowl
maximum speed of 80 kilometer per hour to an OBC player. Any delivery above
this speed should be made illegal. Also we should have reservation in
Olympics. In the 100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold
medal if he runs 80 meter .

Disclaimer: cannot confirm the resource .. recieved it last nite ..when a guy multicasted on IP MESSENGER.
Request : The quote does get a thumps up .. hope he decides to reduce his equity in WIPRO .. :D for some people, eager to invest, can have fun.

welcome to mumbai : part I

2006-04-29T15:15:00.000+05:30

"maa kassam!! blade bhi rakhta hoon" (swear on my mom !! I keep blades too )

and then he started to thrash the gillete ready saver pack to the side fence of the railway bridge. I turned my head and walked away in the anticipation of something ominous.

I had barely walked 10 steps that I reached the end of the bridge and realised that this is the wrong end of the bridge.The thought of going to the other end and passing through the "danger zone" gave a hard on to the weakling within me.

(this was only the 2nd day of my office.. I had left the office early at around 7 pm today it was relatively hassle free journey from andheri to mumbai central.. however, it was not to remain so. I got down from the train and stepped towards the railway bridge. As I approached the bridge, I could listen to some noise and ppl screaming on the bridge. When I reached the spot, I witnessed two men in a duel.. others were watching and screaming "hit that bastard .. everyone..come on .. hit him" but no one dared to touch the guy. I was standing there quite and amused, when a woman cried "someone take care of the guy... pleeeease, he was doin somethng to that girl" and soon a few more men joined the battlefield .. sensing odds turned against him the villain of my story let go everyone and stood there with head high ... like a "batista" in the ring. I was watching him and for a second our eyes met. He was a man surely with nothing to lose and had a vampire face, who can only suck the society.)

I turned my back and started to move towards the danger spot. By that time, Friday the 13th guy was wielding the blade.. population density around him had reduced.When I reached near him he was kicking his bags and potli.

Soon, I cud listen the sound of metal. He leaped towards the floor and lifted a scissor.

He held the scissor high in air and gave a war cry ..

noone was eager to look at him and I walked passed him slowly... his eyes chased me to the dinner table.. geez.

Welcome to Mumbai.

SWEET CAITLYN

2006-03-17T17:40:00.000+05:30

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lovely !!! aint it ? she calls out my name... sweetest gift for a long time.

MOST INNOVATIVE SLEEPER IN THE CLASS.. fun in dbabb

2006-01-31T21:07:00.000+05:30

ha haha its been announced tomorrow wont be any quiz and campus is goin mad. the symptoms of this craziness started to show the 1st and foremost in the SECTION ONLINE NB(notice board).

(CLICK TO ENLARGE THE PIC.)

i wish quizes were better or else the budding managers wd be let loose for such creativity.

CHAOTIC MOMENTS

2006-01-28T17:50:00.000+05:30

with strings and jal ..... jal sucked and strings rocked.
shots from the cultural fest "chaos" in my college.

VACATIONS OVER

2006-01-06T14:12:00.000+05:30

so was in the extension of "rann of kuchh" which merges with the arabian sea.
the sea breaze cudnt handle me the very 1st day, and the mythical MET deptt decided to hand over my case to the "cold viruses". So, that was it, i slept my ass off and played AOE in the room. In between were my vain attempts to fight the resistance of my sista and brthr in law to leave the discomfort of home.
Finally, the day i was to leave, i decided to turn religious coz i needed somethng.
the gal who is the daughter of myh brthr in laws' brthrs' daughter( i donno wtf tht means, point is she calls me uncle). She is 22 ( i guess so) wasnt much of a liabilty in the whole vacation.
So, we boarded a boeing 747 to DWARKA . well, ok,ok!! it was not exacly boeing or airbus coz it was just a bit small and couldn't fly but rest was same atleast the hospitality. well ok i mean the pilot was a bit hoarse and was goading us as if we were sheeps, into the airbus but rest was same. and oh did i mention airbus! no, it was boeing .
beside me, was this guy struggling hard to understand the logic behind similar triangles class XTh maths( god knows y some1 wd pich that at the age of 30).
in front of me was a man wiht a short beard like osama hmm i constantly stared at him. hoped to find atleast one terrorist in this lifetime. probablities were high coz it was pak border and yeah lot of crossborder.
but luck has to have like this; my excitement was to be blown he didnt speak a word; forget the guns, bullets, grenades,i was expecting.... awwwwww.
well, had he spoken; atleast, it wd not have been hard core gujju and wd have given my interpreter ( that gal i mentioned earlier , remember!!!) some relief.

meanwhile as the boeing crawled on a strip of coaltar, tearing a stratch of sea water..... i was deep into my dreams.

suddenly the ramanujam among us screamed "hey i will get down now!!!"

i would say "y the fuck u speakin in english when i doubt they understand my freakin hindi!!!!"

nobody can listen to what my heart speaks uffffff!!!! thankfully

yeah and then i again settled bak to my seat listening to some "aap ka nasha "....they say this song is a craze in these parts .

(i hope u wont look forward to the next episode)

CAN CONQUER CANCER

2006-01-05T11:14:00.000+05:30

this is th enew yr sorry DON for being late, but yeah i can start the new yr wth some good deed

this is a non competitive entry for the
CAN CONQUER CANCER contest and yeah all the responsibility is shouldered by dear DON

SALUTE DON to ur spirit too .. QUIT SMOKING its easy done it 100 times.

yeah this was passed by DON AGAIN.::>>

with the help of Dormatory boyz

2005-12-19T03:45:00.000+05:30

this for the girl who thinks there is wide gap betweeen me and her.
well i dont have many words to say but this to tell u >>>>

literotica

2005-12-07T22:33:00.000+05:30

yerr givin in to the seduction .... so it is like the lackadaisical amoebic projection that following topic flows outta my pen:-

indians had a history entwined in sex and sensibilities and i bet, the literotica makes wet us the most but as they say the consumers need not be the best innovators.

we some how left the legacy of vatsyayan long back... and yep we r a regular feature in the competitons on "badly written sex"

Aniruddha Bahal made us proud in 2 yrs back whenhe won he won the "bad sex award" for Bunker 13 ( whoa well arnd 7 yrs ago or so i had read a short story by someone Ashok BANKER and it was so similar .. analogy)

excerpts from the masterpiece BUNKER 13 :-

"“We began to climb peaks and fall off them,” Tejpal has written. “We did old things in new ways. And new things in old ways. At times like these we were the work of surrealist masters. Any body part could be joined to any body part. And it would result in a masterpiece. Toe and tongue. Nipple and penis. Finger and the bud. Armpit and mouth. Nose and clitoris. Clavicle and gluteus maximus. Mons veneris and phallus indica. The Last Tango of Labia Minora. Circa 1987. Vasant Kunj. By Salvador Dalí.”

and probably oogling boggling mind and semen continues to flow :-

“….. ‘Let’s, you know, caress each other in five places and kiss in seven ways and make out in nine positions, but let’s not get carried away.’ In reply, Boonyi pulled her phiran and shirt off over her head and stood before him naked except for the little pot of fire hanging low, below her belly, heating further what was already hot. ‘Don’t you treat me like a child,’ she said in a throaty voice that proved she had been unsparing in her drug abuse. ‘You think I went to all this trouble just for a kiddie-style session of lick and suck?’ ”

gotcha beat that in future .... so clitoris labia anus cervix i m coming too.

when it rained arms ... the prologue

2005-11-19T04:26:00.000+05:30

the frosty wind has let the oddly godly bird to scratch its heart like the workohlic in an investment bank having his one night stand.And in the bird were 6 innocent LATVIAN sons of al capone were busy pushing the crates off the birds tummy.

this is the time when Fredrick Forsyth is not goin to be excited about those loads of rocket launchers and AK-47 falling through the silent wind of an ohh! so leninist land.

but they were goin down one by one,.... soon 77 crates were down the drain lying in the cursed lands of rural bengal.

yep it was a cold december nite .... salute KIM DAVY..

next day .. NEWSPAPERS r singin the tunes of ... they all made the unforgiven land of PURULIA come out of "oblivion".

EXCERPTS FROM MY BOOK.
bout a place from where my ancestors come.

jay signing off for now.