Jay's oeuvre: An Interview with a Vampire

An Interview with a Vampire
Monday, November 27, 2006

(Its another long post .. But worth it

).
This happened like an year ago, but I would remember it for a long time. This was a crucial interview.

I reached there on time .. everything was set and the process started soon. I had some stupid query for which, I approached one of the administration guys and shot the Q. The tall and towering figure turned, stared at me disparagingly and answered in his Amitabh like Baritone. He was an impressive man. He dismissed my existence as silly.
Soon the group discussion followed. I did well and it gave me the confidence for the final interview. As usual in the interview, I was the last man in.

The person who had ignored me as if I am the crap on a car bonnet, was there right in the middle of the three member panel giving me little idea of how I had underestimated him.
Those who don't have the patience, can straightway go to(click it) [ Fun with Mr. Guha]
The Questions touched some agricultural issues about which I had no idea. I candidly said I don't know the technicalities. He egged me on for guessing the answers. I accepted the challenge (who cares if I was no where near the right answer or had hit the bull's eye). After a few rounds of Qs on medicines, the discussion moved to my Hobbies.

So what else do u do?
"I write, read and play badminton" (I had practiced to fix only these three, which I can defend)

What do u write?
"I write whatever comes to my mind. Right now I am working on my biography and a story based on the unsolved Purulia Arms drop case"

hmmm, ok leave it. U play badminton.
"yes"
Tell me Why is All England Open Badminton Championship called so
"I don't exactly know y they named it so. It was a long time back."

So there are'nt any reasons.
"well I guess (they nodded yes, yes .. guess) It was opened to all (global) hence it was called so.. and it was touted the World Cup at that time.."
So why is it still called so
"I guess the tradition has to play a part and it stayed"

Why our event isn't called so?
"It cannot be called All England Badminton championship. One .. cause this is not England and two it is not open to all "

They laughed.

Ok, tell me the point system?
"Well they keep it changing. Right now it is 5 sets .. with 7 point each game."

So , Its nice.
"I don't think so sir.. The game is faster but it doesn't suit Indian shuttlers. They r slow"

OK leave it. What do u read?
"Anything, I am a voracious reader. Feed on anything I can lay my hands on"

Oh yeah!. what kind of books?
"Sir, I am not a fan of any specific genre. I pick books of different styles"

Like
"Like Historical I Picked HITLER, fiction GO Small things. Fiction Grisham, etc"

The Last book u read?
"Da Vinci Code"

Haah !! Crap. misleading .fodged.errr. history.
"Sir, I don't agree It was a fiction and anyways History is semi fiction. So, I enjoyed it as a good thriller set against an unconventional backdrop."

hmmmm..

Fun with Mr.Guha
Most of the talking was done by that Tall persona and a few by the person on his left. The third person was quite and watching me till..

Do u know William Dalrymple?
Ummmmm, I have heard of him but don't remember exactly. May be White Mughals??

He asked me about another Author..
Obviously, I had no idea.
Another one.. Do u know Ramchandra Guha?
"umm read of him but cannot recall any particular work from him."

U donno..?
"RamChandran , I have read his articles in Times of India"

U said Ramchandran?

"Oh! my mistake its Ramchandra"

The Q changed lips (The baritone again).
"No.. Why did u say Ramchandran? Do u think a name like Ramchandran Guha is possible.
Isnt he a Bengali.?
"yes sir his surname Guha suggests he is a Bengali"

So, why did u say so? Do u think a name like Ramchandran Guha is possible?
"Sir, yes the name seems unlikely. However, this is a strange world anyone can have any names"

They started laughing ,,... Bullcrap!!!
I interrupted their joy.

"Sir , when a guy called Baddruddin Qazi named himself Johnnie Walker .. after the bevarage brand.. anything is possible...So, its a strange world"

Mr. Goliath made a serious face and said " don't you think there is a difference between an inherited name and an adopted name?"
"Definitely there is . But there can be other possibilities"

Like?
"Like.. may be Ramchandran Guha's perents were of different community and to have a compromise they named him so .. Surname of one parent and the 1st name from the other one."

They again started laughing(goddamn how much I made them laugh

)

So, what do you think? who was who?
"Sir, may be his dad was a Bengali coz he has the Bengali surname and his mother would be Tamilian (coz of the Tamilian 1st name)"

Silence .. They stared at each other for a while.

Mr. baritone stares at me and says :
"You know u have a foot in your mouth"

Man!! I was shocked and scared.

They asked a few more and then said .. You may leave now .. and do take some biscuits u have talked a lot.

The sadistic panel comprised of some of the distinguished gentlemen in Academic fraternity
Prof. Sriram (Mr. Baritone.. I faced him later in class. Never dared to talk back on him). Prof. Raghuram (the silent person) and the third was Prof. Diptesh Ghosh.
Thanks and good bye.
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