Jay's oeuvre

A bit of jazz in blog, however, falls tremendously short of being a musical

The pregnant woman.

Once upon a time, when Jay had a plan (refer the previous post). Aliens launched a "crack attack".. blisters sprouted on the skin.. dark clouds covered the sky.. television had "Oprah" all day... Britney won a Grammy.. Bush got a third term.

**snap**

They started drinking too many too fast. shots after shots. Cranberry nectar packs were short. During the western choreo itself, peepu and G-spot made a mess of it. Peepu started rolling all over the floor. Dopey had more than a handful to hold. Rubby was trying to pacify everyone.
To cool everyone down, we came back to the canteen. sipping coffee and chit-chatting. Fashion parade was about to begun. Suddenly, the three men (Rubby, peepu and G-spot), expressed their desire to be taken to the room. Dopey took Peepu. Komal took G-spot and I took Rubby.

That was not a good idea.

Rubby puked all over. After that, I stayed in my room looking after Rubby. Meanwhile, Fashion Parade got over and Prestorika performed in my absence. Nextday, the remorse of missing out on the metal bands' bitch-slap-kick-ass music took over Rubby and he kept abusing me for not taking care of him. I kept wondering "wtf".

and yes The Caribbeans turned the tables and whipped the naked ass of Indians.

So, we decided not to drink and spoil our plans like this again (Still we had two days of concert to go). After delivering a baby, A pregnant woman always swears not to go through all that pain again.
___________________________________________________________________
attach hangover persists.. everyone is feeling wasted . After the boring day, a round of fone calls start among the friends. I pinch everyone with a message : "I am the unconquered one as everyone else couldn't handle the vodka fest".

Rubby takes the bait: "bitch, I started drinking when u were in the womb".

"What do u say dopey, feel like drinking b4 the show?" "I just woke up and my head still hurts plus I have an assignment submission tomorrow". " ..picture two months ahead and everyone else has nothing else left in life but to watch data from Reuters on the computer screen. None of the friends would be around"

pause.pause.pause.
Dopey : " Can u get me some dope"

( Alas! After an year she gets pregnant again)


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by JAY @ 10:29 PM |Show/Add (13) comments|

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Cranberries with the pyromaniac

Today is the third day into "Chaos". Its already 5 pm. Western Choreo is gonna start in an hour. It would be followed by Fashion Parade and then the whole nite ROCK competition to be moderated and judged by Prestorika.

Meanwhile , down south in Chennai, Indian Batsmen are murdering the Caribbeans in cricket.

To keep up the pace with all the excitement we have made arrangements to spice up our mood. We just came back from the mall and we bought Cranberry Nectar (loads), Red Bull and Lays. The news has just filtered in that Vodka wouldn't be at premium.

Rubby, Myself, Komal, G-SPOT(yes, thats his name), Peepu and Dopey planned for everything yestrday itself after a dull Remo and Mynta performance. So, we are gonna assemble in Dopey's room and gonna pour all the Vodka inside and go to the Fashion parade. (muahahahah! we would be allowed in the premium section of the crowd because we are volunteering for some logistic work in the Fashion parade and the Fashion Parade Coordinator STD is our dorm mate twisted)

Dopey has god level limits of boozing and she maintains such composure. However, her boyfriend the pyromaniac peepu would do the balancing act by going wild. Hope we will be able to keep the match box and lighter away from his sight.
Anyways. its better that he goes wild, because I would need company for my post drinking no-holds-barred act of craziness.


(thankfully, I was able to push aside all the relatives, who asked for guest passes of the shows and wanted me to be with them during the show.. he he he I am evil). In the pic, u can see pyromaniac peepu at his decent best.

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by JAY @ 5:07 PM |Show/Add (1) comments|

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tag Proppadom eerrodipus strophillicious Commentovilli and blogcrotic.
(please, know these terms before you read the following tutorial. It is important)

Recent Comments :

I used to have Farrago recent comments hack. Google it if you want that hack. But now as the blogger itself has provided help to add this feature, I guess there is no need to take the pain. Blogger provides simple code, which can be modified easily with some common blogger template tags.

What did i do?

I modified the code to include the whole comment body by adding the following tag:

<$BlogCommentBody$>
Now, my recent comments appear perfectly in my sidebar. I could afford to add the whole comments body because my sidebar is a hover menu and hence, the comments body would appear only on hover. (Thus it doesn't clutter my sidebar even if there is a long comment .. tada biggrin). So, I can read the recent comments without trying to navigate away.

With Farrago hack, I was able to limit the no. of recent comments to appear which I am not able to do right now and it seems recent comments appear only for the posts on display on the home page. hmm........ Your friendly neighborhood is thinking.

Footnote:
I was thinking of calling myself the Jedi knight of blog technology. Later, I thought it is too much of a fancy idea to wear those gown and look weird..... "Yoda, please hear me not. Just joking, I am."

and about those terms on the top of the post.. nvm them.. thats something I have to do cause I donno how to start a post.

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by JAY @ 5:15 AM |Show/Add (18) comments|

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This is last weeks' pursuit of much needed comic relief in various dimensions:

Hog the blog:
Bloggers have been writing their way to glory on some trite and boring subjects(or may be I was reading the saddest of them all).I was getting really despo to read stuffs that can titillate me. Then, I bumped into David Maiki's excellent work of creativity and imagination through a list of 12 most humoruos people on the net. David Maiki's combination of contemporary theme with archaic surroundings is worth having a look at, than reading gossips about Angelina or talking about immaterial-racial-mud-slinging-in-a-reality show (read Big Brother). Anyways, it gave me the pip to rejuvenate my own immature attempt at wearing the thong again through my greenhorns. Making a complete strip requires a lot of effort.. pheww!!(Dude!.. have u seen a GUY struggling in a thong or trying to manage a Saree.. IT indeed is an effort..nvm if u don't get what I said.)

Rumble in the thong:
Now this may not be funny for most of you but it is for me. Like an year ego me and a friend of mine had this bet that Hillary Clinton is gonna run for the HOT SEAT or not. I have been watching her moves with anticipation of a pregnant woman and here she gave in to the itch in her thong. Some of these women have extreme discomfort in their undergarments and u can easily find it out looking at their movements.




Domestic LOL:
People have been suggesting putting in some hot pics which can finally put the ratings of your blog high. (Afterall blogging has been reduced to popularity charts and number of clicks.) I was asked to join CLICKY (web statistics) and it handed me my 1st laughter of the week.

"this dude from US clicked my blog post pornucopia while he was looking for underage literotica in google"

Sick.

So, I looked at more of masala stuff in surroundings to put in my blog and the closest I could come up was this pic :

This guy is my dorm mate and is an ex-Adobe employee. (I can reveal this coz his face has been destroyed to an unrecognizable extent... he he).Thats cake on his face.
No wonder why I run away and they can't find me in my birthdays.

Anyways, we have been doing 007 to find out to whom does the finger belong.rolleyes. Sucking up to whom.

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by JAY @ 9:22 PM |Show/Add (15) comments|

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Andaz-e-Chaos

Its that time of the year again and time to go wild. Last year, I had a gala time,this year CHAOS (our rock and cultural fest) is gonna be bigger better. This is what the organizing team posted on our online NB:-

Through the Pro Nites, Andaz e Chaos aims to cherish the sparks of indiiduality in the field of Music. From international fusion to Pakistans greatest band, from the most successful indian rock musician to the qawwali maestros, we have celebrated the bold initiatives of some of the unique pioneers who made it big... and in the process, bring you the most comprehensive range of music that any cultural meet in the country has ever witnessed. Andaz e Chaos has something for every Andaz!!!

25th January

Nizami Brothers
Qawwali Their family has been singing qawwali for the last 700 years! Still continuing the legacy, the present generation has not stepped back in enthralling the connoisseurs with their craft. Acclaimed for their proficiency in the music form, Hailing from the Sikandra gharana the famous Nizami bandhu, Gulam Farid Nizami and his younger brother Chand Nizami, need little introduction.

Mrigya-Hindustani Fusion
Enter the global sound world of Mrigya, a unique fusion band from Delhi which presents a rich blend of Indian Classical music, blues, funk and latino. Mrigya stretches the boundaries of music with a sound that unites the world as one family, a philosophy which is demonstrated in the term "Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam". Mrigya became the first Indian band to get a 4 star
rating with the Scotsman at the 2001 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This is an experience not to be missed!


26th January
Taalnaad
Headlining Act : The power of tabla

Mynta
Chaos' First Internation Band
Sweden and India find a common place in music through the ears and imagination of the group Mynta. Founded in 1979, the group has created their own genre of music, while preserving the integrity and traditions of their root sounds.
Mynta began as a regular Swedish jazz band. Its music has evolved over time, and through the years has added international dimensions. Stalwarts such as singer Shankar Mahadevan and santoor player Nand Kishore Muley have collaborated with the band. Since 1987, Fazal Qureshi, son of the legendary tabla maestro Allah Rakha and Zakir Hussains younger brother, has been one of its major forces. Mynta has a repertoire of compositions with sounds from North Africa, India and Sweden to name a few. With western instruments like the clarinet, the saxophone, the keyboards, guitars - acoustic and electric - and drums from various countries, it is quintessential fusion. visit the website for more information abt the band www.mynta.net .

Remo Fernandes

India's leading and highest-selling rock musician and being the only one in the
country to be awarded Gold Discs in this category, having song after song go Platinum and Double platinum. Has won many awards and accolades at international song festivals.Known for high-voltage excitement and total audience involvement, this man has done it all....hitch-hiked around Europe and North Africa for two-and-a-half years, singing and passing a hat around in underground stations and pedestrian streets, composing songs and writing poems, sketching and absorbing invaluable multicultural influences. He sure is a man who has done things differently - record an album in the bedroom, write and illustrate a book of poems, design postcards and t-shirts, and drive around on a yellow scooter distributing all three...."Zara Hat Ke"!!! For more information log onto http://www.remofernandes.com/


27th January2300 hrs onwards : All Night Rock Competition at RJMCEIHeadlining act and Judging byPrestorika
'Prestorika' came into being during the summr of 2001. the past years have seen
them reach the pinnacle, playing primarily heavy metal/progressive music they constantly tour the country providing their audiences with a mind-boggling set of high energy music. calling all you metal heads out there for a performance of your lifetime. visit their website for further details www.prestorika.comVarious semi professional bands from Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune and Delhi competing in the event. 28th January Gaurav DagaonkarHeadlining ActGaurav Dagaonkar is our very own alumnus who graduated from IIM Ahmedabad in 2006 and is coming out with his first album 'Om Namah Shiva' soon. From amidst the race for corporate honchos emerged this individual with a passion for music, and ended up paving his own path to his dream. It doesn't get more 'hat ke' than that !! and we celebrate him before the country would.

Silk Route

The music of Silk Route, is very much their own genre, even as they are
constantly reinventing their sound and adding to its repertoire.‘Silk Route’, which came into being in the summer of 1997 and caught the attention of the country’s music scene by bagging a host of Channel V awards for their first album Boondein, the track that still plays in our heads. Get ready for the uniquly fresh music that still never fails to amaze!!

Junoon

At present, dubbed as the 'Best Music Group' in Pakistan, this 3 man band has
goven a whole new meaning to the word 'Rock 'n Roll'. The band were one of the first bands in Pakistan to insist on playing live music where most music was sampled and programmed synth pop. Heavily influenced by rock bands like Led Zeppelin, Junoon aims at combining loud guitar riffs with the tranquility of sufi poetry. Junoon has been the first and most successful Pakistani group in history, having toured extensively around the planet, including the renowned European rock festival, Roskilde, where Pearl Jam, Iron Maiden, Travis, Queensrÿche, and over 200 other world famous artists performed. For more information please visit their official website http://www.junoon.com/
[Read More..]

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by JAY @ 12:01 PM |Show/Add (1) comments|

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My Inspector Cluso

pencil .Its been an year since, he had smelled the aroma of the red walls. He had returned to the college as a guest lecturer. Soon, the students realized the master of the ring hasn't lost touch as he flashed his smile and said to his audience

"Hi, Pink panther returns."

he pounces like the quintessential beast and sets the stringent rules and says he is adding one exam and an assignment to the curriculum. Looks at the response of the students laughs at them and reinforces while he is here we need to walk on the tight rope.A student tries toenter the class late he looks at him and then looks at the class. ***sigh**.

Then, he says what r u waiting for come one join the class. I understand you Its hard to wake up after 4 pegs during the nite in some1's arm.

"Anyways, since you all love me for the assignments i throw upon ya ; I no more feel comfortable and hence I reduce the work by removing one of the presentations scheduled later in the course."

Sensing the smile amongst his audience he says: "You Know. The good cop bad cop works. You guys indeed should watch the pink panther returns."

Since, removing the presentation allows you all the time to manoeuvre a bit, next week I expect everyone to submit a book review on microfinance.

He again flashes his smile: "good cop bad cop".
____________________________________________________________________________________
Later, Mr. Sriram who has returned to take our Microfinance classes; went on to discuss the Nobel peace prize winners Grameen Bank and how Daniel Pearl was pushed to oblivion.

Yes, the same Daniel Pearl.... Angelina Jolie is making a movie on. The same Daniel Pearl, who was shot to martyrdom by the terrorists in front of media glare somewhere in Pakistan. Nonetheless, a few years back he had put a front page post on Washington Post, about how not everything is right with Grameen. Since, then Grameen Bank has changed a lot and this year they won the Nobel for making a difference in the livelihood of the poor in Bangladesh. Though nowhere they recognize the findings of Daniel Pearl.


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by JAY @ 7:57 AM |Show/Add (4) comments|

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The Goo, The Ba, and the Lee

Rating: *** (PG)
Soundtrack: Jay (Blatantly lifted from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly)

Play the mood:(the version which included my voice couldnt be uploaded on time sad, will do it later)



Epilogue: Its been only 3 days, I had arrived in this infamous land in relation to my work. Straighway, I was assigned a job in a remote town. I was about to leave the small roads of the city to join the highway. I could see millions trying to do so.. and my bad! all the other lanes except mine were under repairs. The lane was generous as it accommodated all of us, and then suddenly we saw right in front of us a guy on his horseback riding like a cowboy .. coming straight at us. (The other side of the road was logged coz of traffic the guy just switched over to wrong side). It was just the beginning as the land let me experience the WHOLE WILD WEST thereafter. It is also known as Bihar. This is just one of the stories narrated to me by a friend.

pencil Story: Jay had just withdrawn some money from the ATM and was rushing towards his home on his Yamaha RX 100. It was a posh locale, abuzz with crowd in the heart of the city. He took a right into the colony where he lived. Soon he could hear some words chasing him from the behind.

"He is the one. Bastard!!.. Lets beat the shit out of him. He is the one"
"No. No. I don't think this is the guy."
"No. I am telling ya. This mo fo is the one.. what are we waiting for"

Jay decides to check it out as to what was going on. He brings his road rider RX100 to a halt and looks back. Two men were approaching him. Suddenly they increased their pace and with a flash they surrounded him. One of them said: "take out cash. FAST"
As i move a bit I wake up to the gun pinching me near my kidney."

He pressed the gunpoint again to enforce the dictum. Jay takes out his wallet to get some cash. They snatch the wallet, move away, ride their bikes and only a trail of dust is left. People started surrounding a shell shocked Jay.

After 1 hr, Jay is home. A cousin of his is discussing the matter with him. Jay doesn't want to register a complaint. Cousin pressurizes him to do so. Then Jay informs that he did visit the police station but they refused to register it. Cousin immediately calls the Police Commissioner, who is a relative.
Commissioner takes a note and gets back to them after 15 min.: "get your complaint registered in the Police station".

At 10 pm, the inspector of the police station calls and asks" Sir. can u please come and register the F.I.R."
Jay refused rudely coz it was too late in the night. The inspector hangs up and calls in the morning again to continue with his request. This time jay decides to go and register the F.I.R.

Later in the day, the inspector calls again and says:"Sir. U can come to the Police station, we recovered your belongings".
Happy yet surprised, at the efficiency; Jay goes back to the police station where they hand over the wallet to him. All the documents were in place. The wallet looked as if was thrown in a garbage bin.He checks eagerly (there were some important documents and a hefty check in the wallet). All of them were in place. But, there was about Rs 5000 cash missing from the wallet. As he raised his face to inquire with the police inspector. The inspector interrupted: "You know, I had to chase the bastards and get your belongings. You should be happy u got atleast your wallet back." he followed it with a wide grin.

I decided not to argue any further and returned home. Later in the evening The commissioner called to ask if everything went fine. Jay informed him of the wallet and the missing Cash.
Commissioner responded with a tone laden with anger:"wtf. The cash was there in the wallet, when last reported to me." "Jay. wait.. I will get back to you later".

After one hour the inspector calls Jay again:"Sir, we have nabbed some of the goons and have got the cash from them. Can you please come and identify the offenders".

I mulled over the idea and decided to let it go.

Soon the commissioner called and asked whether he got his money back or not.
Jay replied:"Uncle let it go. Those 5000 bucks aren't much. If I identify the goons today, tomorrow they will nail me down and I can't go back to you every time. I am the one who has to live his life amongst these bastards."

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by JAY @ 8:15 AM |Show/Add (0) comments|

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Smileys in Blogger

Though, I keep fiddling with the blogger template I, like the miser with a spoon, have rarely talked in detail as to what and how I do it. Recently, I saw some fellow bloggers nonnie and luna throwin a lot of tutorials, I thought lets do it for once.

So, when a friend of mine asked me how I included smileys in blogger .. I decided to put it here.

This is where I get my smileys from. A simple "click" for whenever I want. biggrin


Initially wanted to include all the yahoo smileys here, but then I thought they were a bit big for my liking. I used greasemonkey scripts to include them here. For the techies who want to know more go for the attachment below.
____________________________________________________________________

attach Greasemonkey is a firefox extension which allows you to change the way your webinterface functions by modifying through Javascripts. So, first of all you need firefoc with greasemonkey. Then I found the some Java scripts for blogger in Userscripts. I installed one script for blogger smileys through it. But, I didn't like them so i wanted to have my own smileys. For this, I opened an account with userscript.Then, Uploaded the script for smileys/emoticons to my account and modified the script.

To modify the script, I opened the script in an editor (in my case notepad) and then included a few lines for the smileys I wanted to add. like here :-

Its simple. One only needs to include the image url's for their smileys/emoticons. Then save it and upload in your host (in my case
Userscript). Then install the script to your browser through greasemonkey.

Thus you are done. linux_penguin

There are other ways to do it like included a whole lot of codes into ur template for urself but I think using greasemonkey for JS is a simpler way.

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by JAY @ 3:39 AM |Show/Add (5) comments|

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Horrorscope

I had intuitively vowed to myself not to type down anything unless I have something substantial to put in the blog. However, I can't find time or the energy to do a nice job (which requires a lot of effort on my part unlike others for whom things flow so naturally and they keep blogging cry.)

So, finally I have decided to leave just a footstep of insignificance. Lets open the cards one by one:

.Honed my dancing skills to "smooth criminal" again. I love the kid in the video.
.Have fed myself with a lot of grunge and metal. Been rediscovering the Seattle Bands. oh! and my usual dose of some Scandinavian stuff (Royksopp again). The lovely part about such bands is they bank on a promotion which comes by word of mouth and not big banners.
.I have failed an interview (don't stare at me).
.Passport office been making me run all over.
.Had too many classes (I wish didn't attend) and the profs are so good, that I end up attending their sessions rather than sleeping in my room even if I am tired.

.I am playing a commodity trading game for the second time. Yesterday, I made money on some crude oil futures. However, I think my team is lagging. Today evening the window opens again and I hope the Gold futures will fetch me some brownie points and good money. Phatlee, my other team mate has just informed me that he won't be able to accompany me during the trading session as he has some gay presentation to attend.

___________________________________________________________________
attach Lastly, I leave you with this anecdote that a friend of mine shared during our usual 2 am CT (cafe tanstafal) get together:

Prof. Ravi Chandran had taken a bunch of 30 students on strat. Safari (an annual event where you get to visit the SEA nations and understand their sudden resurge and economic boom and a subsequent bust).

"CEO ,Johnson and Johnson, Malaysia has just delivered lecture and is involved in discussions with the students.
Amidst this serious discussion on economy, our usual CP* GOD has her itch and stands up to ask : "Sir, what are the best places to shop in Malaysia".

The frame shifts to the CEO. He smiles and stares blankly at prof Ravi Chandran.

Ravi Chandran tries some damage control measure (if wit is the greatest savior of all).

"Yeah, I know at times she asks difficult Questions"

*CP= Class participation, tendency of a student to speak in class to fetch some marks.

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by JAY @ 3:24 PM |Show/Add (3) comments|

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The Monkey Balls

"What your monkey balls, Jay .. u have been doing?"

"Nothing much .. been bouncing and bouncing and bouncing"

I was supposed to slog hard for the work which is due this fortnight. However, I downloaded a lot of music. Checked out "Royksopp", a Scandinavian band. They are very good and just my taste thumb like other Scandinavians. The vids are also impressive. I tricked the network block with the help of Tor and downloaded a few songs before my e-mule, limewire and torrent were tied to impotency.

Another excellent stuff, I came across was Frank Miller's"300". Hopefully, its the movie of 2007 in the making and the theatrical release would do justice to a very graphic and gruesome novel from which it is being adapted to screen. You can check out the promos. That's a completely "yo"movie with the background score by "nine inch nails". (umm.. I wanna feel u from the inside.!!!)



This is madness....
madness!!
This is "SPARTA!!!!!"

and the frame freezes into ur mind as the spartan king Leonidas throws the kick of his life.

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by JAY @ 4:45 AM |Show/Add (6) comments|

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Fight Club

This is one of the long lost pics of 1st year that I just found in the LAN. This used to be our regular "Fight Club" Sessions when we; the young nerds' frustrated of the Academic pressure in the first year would grapple for physical supremacy in the "top floor". We used to have "one on one"(Hard core WWE) and "pile-ups"(the pic below).

That's Rubby getting pinned down by the mighty three Peepu, Geela and Frustu.

Did u see that Ass mrgreen.



I loov this pic (Please, don tell rubby that you saw this pic has been published on the net. Dude! no one wants the proof of the fact that he was raped literally biggrin.)

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