Jay's oeuvre

A bit of jazz in blog, however, falls tremendously short of being a musical

O Jay. Where art thou ?

"..been drinkin, sinkin and thinkin in Goa..got tanned like coal.. biked.......beer red wine white wine sea food sleeping on the rubber floater tattoo masti cards.. sand ....ab rehne de jay!!!"

This post was long due. The Goa trip had gobbled me into such laziness that I wd sit back like a sloth whole day in my room doin nothing but watching Prison Break and Rome.

Goa was an awesome trip. Danko and me left from Ahmedabad, Pankhi and Jhade Singh joined us in the trip...while, KayG and Tiru had already booked cottages for us in Palolem Beach. Palolem is among the top 10 beaches in the world. It features in the movie bourne supremacy. Palolem is 80 km down south from the other popular beaches near Panjim and hence the domestic crowd rarely indulges in the adventure. Thus, it remains one of the less crowded beaches and plenty of foreign tourist spend months in there. The Beach is really cool coz u walk two steps into the sea and u will have enough water to swim and there aren't forcefull currents that will take you away.

We hired bikes from Panjim city for 5 days. And hell!!!! I had been missing biking. I do love Pulsar DTS I. Its been two years since I quit my job, when I had biked to my satisfaction. Pulsar is the only bike that matches faintly the joyride of Yamaha RX 100.. By the time we hired it .. it was already evening .. and I had no idea that the road to Palolem is through the hills. The next 5 hrs was spent worrying about the twists and turns and dark jungles .. the journey threw upon me (occasionally), the cool breeze and a speed of 100 km/hr .. did give me some relief....

Unlike my other posts, this one sounds like a mundane travelogue. But, I can't muster enough energy to write the way I do.................. So, I will simply put some pics out here from the Goa trip and this anecdote :

The departure flight for Ahmedabad was to leave within an hour. I was waiting in the cab while Jhade had gone to pick other frnds and luggage. Suddenly the driver turns back and asks "So, did u enjoy Goa trip".. I said I did. He continued "been to Arambol beach. akkha nude beach saab. Udhar kya hai na.. usko dekho koi fikar naye... but dont stare for too long.. Side se dekhne ka ..and move on.. total firungs.(white ppl).. "

me: "Nah, didnt go there. Been to Palolem .. its similar and lotsa Israelis. And also to Agonda thats more secluded than others. udhar kya hai na RAVE PARTY bhi attend kiya, Every firung was dressed in white gown. Mast.. booze, grass and blah.."

My eye brows wd go up and down in coherence with the spicy details wherever it was required. The interest of the cab driver was providing me enough incentive to go on.

Cabbie: " umm Goa is like that. Poora Masti karne ka. Idhar Firung ko lagaya kya?" his voice dipped suddenly and he watched my facial expressions very keenly as if there hinges the mystery of all wisdom.

Me: " Nopes. nahin Lagaya" pause. "Arre tumne to lagaya hi hoga itne saal se reh rahe ho" (arre u must have screwed some white chicks, u have been living here for so long.

Cabbie: "haan Boss. Once.."
By that time pankhi, danko and Jhade had returned with all the luggage.

The cabbie opened the doors to help them but for a second he turned his head, smiled at me and sneaked in a few words: "Firung ko lagane ka alag maza hai. Agli baar aao aap." ( its a different experience experience with white females, u come next time ..;)



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by JAY @ 5:46 PM |Show/Add (7) comments|

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Sea, Sand, Sun and Skin

attach(Disclaimer: characters and incidents in the following act is purely incidental. Any resemblance to the movie 300 is purely incidental).

These were the few brave men who had defied destiny. They fought against slavery. They fought like there was no tomorrow.They were led by their will to enjoy the fate, they had come here to embrace.

They looked at the sun which was being gobbled by darkness. The breeze was from the west .... prolly originated in the angst of Persia. Even the sea was hitting the shores with passion and vigour. Apocalypse now. However, only thing etched in the minds of these few men up against all odds, was FREEDOM.

The King, looked at the murky sky and remembered the red walls, which had imprisoned him and almost decapitated him for two years. Then, he turned to face the fellow soldiers, who had vowed to die with him and cried with LORD'S own stereo:

"SPARTANS !!!!!! tonite.........we die in our undies"

Soon..... the warriors JAY, HAT, FUGGA, CANTO, MAXI, BOCHO, FOOZIE and Junglee NATO threw their naked bodies, wrapped only in underwears; to the sea and swam and dived and somersaulted and played and laughed and sun burnt themselves till FUGGA said, "mujhe bhookh lagi hai" (I am hungry).

We were holidaying in DIU. DIU is a small island and used to be a Portuguese colony. It has got beaches, the Portuguese church, some good Italian restaurants, sea food, booze and peace. There are too many stories from the trip. I wish I could dish them all here. People rush to this place mostly because there is a ban on liquor in my state and nearby Diu is a good excuse to let the juices flow. I was surprised to get discounts in the resort we lived in for two days. I was amused by the fact that the Identity card of my college was doing wonders 100s of kilometers away. I was with a bunch of friends who had let the peer pressure and finance jobs bypass them and accepted marketing jobs (which was only 8% of the final job scene this year in my college).



I would put anecdotes from the trip sometime later. Right now I am bugged by my itinerary. I have finally booked tickets for GOA (the poor man's CANNES). Tiru and KayGX would join, me and Danko there in GOA after attending the IRON MAIDEN CONCERT. (oh man! y did I miss it.) Maxi is joining NOKIA which has sponsored the IRON MAIDEN CONCERT and is also Sponsoring SHAKIRA's SHOW in Mumbai. Our own Tadka is looking after the two concerts as a representative of NOKIA. Tickets/ Passes wd have been available so easily :(((((. Anyways, as of now ... following schematic diagram is supposed to represent "how jay, broke sackles, toured, laid eggs, punished cockroaches and got a life" for next 20 days.



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by JAY @ 5:29 AM |Show/Add (4) comments|

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The Dawg is leaving

There are numerous videoz made every year. This one is one of the videoz, which captures and arouses my sentiments for leaving one of the best places on earth after 2 years. The video has been made by Proxy, who is now joining a Swiss Bank and its all about the Dormies. All the Dawgs captured in the video. ...................................................................I need a shoulder to cry now!!!!






There is this video from one of "the wannabe rival college of ours". The video is sweet and for our batch, thus, it reciprocates our feelings. It is extremely nostalgic :( and the composition is their own.

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by JAY @ 1:51 AM |Show/Add (2) comments|

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Bong Bong Bang Bang

I just finished watching this new Indian movie named "honeymoon travels ltd.". The story was weird and at times hilarious. Among all the couples shown in the movie, there was this Bong (Bengali.. ppl belonging to West Bengal in India) couple. The young bride was like a lake, holding millions of boiling desires inside with a calm presence on top. One day, she insists her husband to walk to their home at nite, instead of taking a bus. The Hubby, a typical Bengali guy,was hesitant initially but gives in to constant bugging from her better-beautiful half. And just to prove the Murphy's Law (If something can go wrong, it will), some goons surround them in a lonely road and ask to submit all the belongings. Even the chain, the woman was holding to so dearly. Even the chain!!! Even the chain!!

"Back off!!!" She shouted,"I am not giving you this. It was gifted by my parents."

"Guahahahaha" (please, imagine the echo and monstrous laugh)..."give us the chain .. u filthy.. wh@#$"

The afraid and astonished husband pleads,"Sona diye dao.. chainta diye dao" (Darling, please give them the chain)
"I am warning you, don't try to touch it." announced the woman in her increasingly war rhetoric.

With knife in the right hand, the grease painted face with a mole, grinned and lunched forward towards her.

Suddenly without warning, the catwoman of that coy Bong gal jumps in air and slams her knee on the chest of the goon. A few more of those martial art kicks and the battle was over.

The hubby looked at her with his mouth wide open and so did I. She comes to him puts her head on his shoulder and says,"Remember, momma used to send me to learn RabindraSangeet in the red building. They used to teach martial arts in the floor below. I never liked Singing."

Yup. That is the story of a rebel Bengali. Every Bengali is supposed to be surrounded in the myth of Rabindrasangeet. They are defined by their coy and disciplined behaviour. Woman with Big Red Dot on head and a stick in the hand to spank their hubby. Man, with a restricted behavior and high intellect but bound by the limits drawn by his wife and his five Gods

1. Rabindranath Tagore
2. Durga
3. Subhash Chandra Bose
4. Satyajit Ray
5. Saurav Ganguli.

U utter a word against them and they will take out ur tongue and stuff it up ur arse. I have my own Bong connections. I was reminded of it a few days back during the Holi family get-together. One grandma comes to me and says, "Beta, did u read Tagore. Rabindrasangeet is the ultimate treasure of wisdom and wealth. Have u read Gitanjali?? U didn't !!! U should see the way he defines "LOve". There is no human emotion, which isn't delineated in there. Read it and follow it. U will have success and will get a good job and u will prosper."

I nodded once. twice. thrice. and so on. Then, I looked at grandma, i looked at the roof for once and then I kept my head down. I couldn't find any Bong words to reciprocate to her. My next job would probably take me to a stint in the land of Bongs "Calcutta" ..(Blasphemy.. its Kolkata).

There are a few good things about Bengali though They have supposed to be the Hottest and most beautiful Indian women. They have Rasagolla, which is a good Bengali sweet. They can have me, if they promise to be nice and welcoming.

Lastly, a few words for the girl, who probably reads my blog a lot. Please!!!!!!!!!!!11 stop asking me: "how do u say I love u or I love someone else in Bengali "

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by JAY @ 1:28 PM |Show/Add (9) comments|

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Theory of olives and flying sperms.

In last few days, I have chalked out 200 plans for the coming holidays and erased them. Hence, the frustration of not being able to come out with anything is growing inside me. It is pinching me and the bitterness is flowering.

Iron Maiden concert in Bangalore this month seems already a distant future. Precariously hanging, is also my Goa plan. G-Spot is dancing in the corner of my mind with his offer to go to Vaisno Devi. It is easier to fight US elections, than fix a plan for me. STD accuses me of the laziest and slowest guy to have roamed this earth.. Holy crap!!!! wd u believe it .. he he he.

I am lazy and slow. But O.J. Simpson beats me blue at that. Didn't you hear his latest claim. He says:

"Anna Nicole Smith's child is actually his. The gal child was born late because of his slow moving sperms. He hopes that there is no DNA test, otherwise it would be found that he is the father. He is among the three other men who have thrown their hats in the ring and claim the child is their."




Weird as it may sound, It would certainly do Anna proud if she is looking from the up-above. This is just the second weird findings of the week. The banana split guy, who lives close by introduced me to his cousin. Conversations took us around the world. From Charlie Sheen's hairdo in Hot Shots to Theory of olives from "How I met your mother".

She listens to Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. She says she is a big fan of their music. I said, "gulp!! gulp!! ok". It would have been easier to swallow had she just said she likes Red Hot Chilli Peppers, as the band is known now-a-days.
When she asked me what I listen to, I said, "cacophony of the weirdest lizard on earth which surely isn't miraculously majestic master of mayhem's fluidity." ..ok.. whatever it meant... bleh..

She said are u applying Theory of olives. Aha!! something I had an idea about. Theory of olives states that if you like olives and the counterpart doesn't there is an attraction.So , if some one likes red hot chilli peppers i wouldn't.
I said, "may be, if it impresses you ... however,I hardly have an idea what I am doing, except for attempting a sarcastic take on ur taste in music.. And in which I have failed measurably."

She shrugged her shoulders. I shrugged her mine.

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by JAY @ 9:37 PM |Show/Add (0) comments|

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Master Plan Google

This is an over hyped conspiracy theory and the clip is very sleek.

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by JAY @ 2:28 PM |Show/Add (10) comments|

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Total economix

As I am graduating, bypassing the Gyan distribution in my very own blog would be a gross error. So, I am gonna bowl short spells of friendly biodegradable knowledge from my wallet.

Last fortnight was a whirlwind in the economy. The inflation touched a mammoth high, the annual exercise of Budget by the Finmin was tabled, the top B-Schools in the country entered the campus recruitment season and the grand old man of intestine Mr. Alan Greenspan opened his mouth again.

Talking of inflation, the reason is a palpable supply constraint. Too much money is chasing too few goods. The growing demand is exceeding the production capacities. Among other goods, Oil and petroleum is a substantial determinant of how inflation would go. India imports heavily and pays in rupees for it. Now, we do not let the Rupees to appreciate (limited floating), hence we have to pay a lot to import the oil. If Rupee appreciates against the Dollar the imports would become cheaper and the prices of oil can be brought down and hence the inflation too. Having said so its not that simple either. It spells doom for the exports and especially the software companies like Infosys; which are heavily dependent on software and services exports. Infact, it doesn't seem a good year for software companies. After enjoying a tax holiday of about 10 years they have been brought under the ambit of MAT (minimum alternative tax). No doubt the response from Bangalore was meek and gloomy. Meanwhile, the inflation is yet to be tamed.

Much ado about nothing: Alan Greenspan predicted about 33% chance of a global recession. Considering the fact that global economy was overheating after enjoying a 6th consecutive year of recovery, it seemed a correction factor. Stocks across the globe which had started tumbling two days ago .. actually made a comeback today. Greenspan's words couldn't dampen it further.

The reflection in my home: Today IIM Bangalore, one of the premier management institutes in India, saw its Day Zero placements today. It wasn't as rosy as expected in a year when the economy has prolly grown about 9.2 %. Global Investment banks unexpectedly picked up very low numbers. While, back in college, we were discussing the placements in our group, I actually joked "Its a sign of global recession". Hell !!.... Is the recession really down the corner?

Hope not... anyways the panic button has been pressed in my campus, where the campus recruitment season is just a day to go.

Those who get the news from the media would prolly never know the pressure and tension of a gloomy and uncertain future some of the students are facing because by the end of it Management institutions manage to show a big picture which has all the colors in place.

The Agar Media: Management colleges like the one from where I am graduating should actually share the blame for the misquoted statements in newspapers and newschannels. At times, in the hunt of greater glory; the students also gloss the final fugures of campus recruitment and salaries being offered. There is this funny story that figured in one of the leading business newspapers:

"Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta students have been offered salary packages of more than 1 crore (10 million)..................
.............................. In fact, the IIMs in India have come of age as these salaries are about 50% more than the salary figure offered to Harvard and Stanford Graduates".

Eventually, students in these colleges know the missing link. So, a friend of mine called IIM, Cal questioning as to wtf!!!! are these figures. They replied "you started the game".

Yup, the 1st news of more than a Crore salary came out of my campus, which was offered by a leading investment bank. Well, if someone could get the structure of the overall salary being quoted, they could see, it includes a huge chunk as the expected bonus. ...And I talk of a bloated figure .. douche!!!!!

Talking about media, there is another news article which made our jaws drop and made us giggle. Read this : http://www.centralchronicle.com/20070303/0303102.htm.

This college is also among the reputed management colleges in India. Hopefully this press release was not a work of the college officials but the work of an evil genius called press reporter. Look at the spelling mistakes committed : Macancy, Assenger business consultant, Deloty consultancy, Goldman Saches, Duche bank, City group, Alghamin Industries,etc.

(The correction should be-McKinsey, Accenture, Deloitte, Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, Citi, Alghanim). Some of them are the richest banks in the world and lolz imagine if they read the news article.

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by JAY @ 3:29 AM |Show/Add (2) comments|

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And another thing, I forgot..

I am taking my Dorm for a dinner.... the whole dorm.. Oh yeah Baby... aaan aaan nod ur head.. That's right. See u latza, right now time for matza in Mirch Masala.



by JAY @ 8:01 PM |Show/Add (2) comments|

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The evilllllllllllllllllllllllllll has been let loose.

I just finished the last exam in my life. TOmorrrow, I will start packing to go back home after 2 loooooooooong yrs, in which was prostituted by the books. (Doesn't feel bad tho .. I was a high end call boy of the acads lol).

By the looks of it, u should feel by now I am going crazy. Batasha was the 1st one I called in the moment of ecstasy. Then, I wanted to call others.....hell!!! some inhibitions stopped me from doing so. Anyways, so here I am; my heads swinging to the Voodoo child by Jimi Hendrix and my fingers moving fast over the laptop surface.

Tomorrow, The sexy-eyes-Doc is coming to the town for an Interview. He is my long time undergrad friend and is also known as the man of weird ideas in the Jay world. When we finished XII, we took admission into St. Xavier's college (not telling you which Xaviers .. na na na). So, the class had like 40 gals and 10 guys of which 3 wd remain absent. When we would sit in the Lab.. staring at the gals... Doc wd mention "Jay!!! when r they gonna make prostitution legal in the country. When wd my dream of opening a brothel be realized.Oh!! Amsterdam I miss u".
After a brief stint there in the college he followed me to the undergraduation (B. Tech.) and we had fun.......... the story thereafter is LEEE GEEEN wait a minute its coming DDDARY.

But, I will talk about all those later.. right now two stingy chopsticks .. a few sexy white grain of rice and an aphrodisiac called Water is waiting for me ........ I NEED TO EAT.

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