Jay's oeuvre

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Main Bhi Madonna: Audioslaved [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 3:16 AM |(7) comments|

This is erratic. Suddenly, I found myself with a lot of free time. It is making me go crazy and I am doing really stupid stuff. Missing old flames... awwww. Soul searching.........bullshit. Playing....... kid!!!. and Singing.............. save me!!!.. and recorded them... why??????

The 1st song I chose to better (he he he) was "Show me how to live"............. Chris Cornell

I Know, I can't SING. But u can pass these pieces of melody as drunken frustrations of a bereaved soul. (ouch!!! the songs were less painful than Jay's writing).

So, here u go.... this time COCHISE.

and I did that again :

Now u know when I said I am going crazy, what I meant.

Labels: fun, Miscallaneous, Music

7 Ants in my pants:

At 2/24/2007 04:37:00 PM, lunaticgal said...: yee!? i was introducing chinese song too :P
At 2/24/2007 05:38:00 PM, JAY said...: ha ha ha,,, sweet :P
At 2/28/2007 12:28:00 AM, khushboo said...: lol...good ..good...btw i cant really see wht i m typing coz i have tears in my eyes n just cant stop laughing.
lol...
At 2/28/2007 02:26:00 AM, JAY said...: THik hai Thik hai .. hansle.. urn't the only one who has rubbished my singing (awwwww). Komal called me tomorrow at 2 am to tell me how have i spoiled Chris cornell's songs. Well.. i dont have much to my defence but...umm. imagine i am chris Cornell and it wd feel betta ..he he ... and i was drunk .. and sleepy.. and excuses excuses...
At 2/28/2007 12:43:00 PM, k-o-m-a-l said...: i can sing better =; gee
At 2/28/2007 02:10:00 PM, JAY said...: "Et tu, Brute? Then fall Jay"
At 3/06/2007 08:08:00 PM, Anonymous said...: love ur voice especially when u sing... amazing voice u've got...

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Monster's Inc. Ahoy [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 9:55 PM |(2) comments|

Legs tied to the branches, I too 've been hanged upside down

and I could see a room of corpses and closed doors
Smile, as we become a part of Monster's Inc.
U lick my wound, while I lick yours.

The days of untented innocence is coming to an end. Last few days in college and its a mad rush to get a job. Nites go by discussing jobs, the hype surrounding my college and the pressure it has created on students. Cooked up stories, whimsical journalists have a field day. The salary figures quoted in news papers are largely false. The media attention and public interest has created a spell, where everyone is expected to bag a job which is top paying. These jobs are infact restricted to a certain sector and to a few only. However, ppl are sacrificing their choices and jumping into the job profiles, prolly which, they are not made for. All because they are falling prey to peer pressure.

Last few weeks, I myself witnessed emotionally and professionally testing times.( I woke up to the fact that HR (Human Resource) guys are digging up Orkut Profiles to know about candidates. Orkut has been a genuine social networking site and experiences realistic expression among frnds. In this regard, it is by far more well-behaved than Myspace, Friendster or HI5. But then u can't blame the corporates, when they are hiring people by paying a sum, which is far above the national scene. They can't afford to hire people who gonna dupe them and dump them after a brief stay. Dog eat Dog...Corporate espionage is metamorphosing.

Too bad tho, my orkut scraps don't feed the spying eyes much. It still is a nightmare for me cause half of the scraps are all about "where have u been placed (=got a job)? what about the salaries". If there is an old friend on chat, its the same Q. If its a fone call, its for only one purpose. Anyways, I don't have anything bad, that I need to hide.(In fact, I have a pretty good one.. job I mean

Talking of Jobs and readily available foreign exposures, I can't miss mentioning the story of Dildo and Nippo. Both of them got high paying jobs last year and are well placed in England. The story goes... During 1st few months, Dildo used to go out on weekends to clubs and pubs; while Nippo the conservative one wd stay back alone. He would pick a firang (white) chick and ask if she wd like to have a drink with him. Too bad .. no luck here dude. After constant failures, he started checking out eastern Europeans. 1st they wouldn't understand english. When they did, lol.. "no thanks". Dildo didn't get discouraged. He tried approaching Indians living in there. Lol, they won't even listen.

Now, Dildo spends time playing carom with Nippo in weekends.

U don't let ur go life like this. He he he .. so we have our share of fun at the high pressure situation. STD, Tiru me and Rubby have this tournament going on between us.

We have to play a series of sports. Me and STD on one side while Tiru and Rubby on the other. We already have lost Tennis 6-4 6-4 (don't listen if they say its 6-2 6-0). Today while we were coming back from Canteen at 3 am .. we decided to finish off the Badminton. Hola!!! we did play and we won .. he he he. So now the scores are level at 1-1 (Tennis goes to them and Baddie to us). The only game in which I am banking on STD is "wrestling". Hopefully he will get us a point in our Fightclub.

Labels: Business, college, fun

2 Ants in my pants:

At 2/24/2007 09:16:00 PM, Anonymous said...: wow dost superb, hahahaha!!! U need more practice to get the right notes, im ur dost, hahah!!!**..***
At 2/24/2007 11:26:00 PM, JAY said...: Ha ha hA .. Thannx Irene...

(u by mistake commented on the wrong post... this comment shd have been for the post above.. AUDIOSLAVED)

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Enlighten me Anna-Banana. [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 12:02 PM |(1) comments|

Hello ... 1,2,3... check... check. Welcome to the live coverage of the Satsang NB.
(The Notice Board is to discuss Philosophy, Gyan and naked sadhus; with their doodle-dum hanging and running into the holy waters of Ganges in Allahabad. Men at war are identified in the discussion thread only by their weird nicks.)

Super powers along Maharashtra questions : Why did Anna Nicole Smith Die?
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess responds : Please elaborate how this is related to enlightenment or this NB.

Super powers along Maharashtra replies : Anna Nicole Smith was one of the few individuals who had the ability to bring men "up" when they were down and spread warmth and "holiness" throughout the land. She could only be rivaled by Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi in these respects. So if we can understand why, and possibly how she died, we would be able to uncover a part of the mystery that is life and death.

Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess replies : I learn something new everyday.

Small people are called midgets interrupts the discussion : he he... I don't expect you Grande poopooba to not understand these things.

Che Gubbara : bad karma

Labels: entertainment, fun

1 Ants in my pants:

At 2/20/2007 04:30:00 PM, sAm said...: hey hey jay...! I love you bLog..buT put some designs on it...! It is SooO eMptY...! hehe aNd BorIng...! buT i Love YouR bLog...! at LeasT yuO dnt haVe wrOng grAmmaR...hehe

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Body odor and women: POTtY tales [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 2:21 PM |(3) comments|

A few days back a stupid news item featured in our NEWS NB (Notice Board). It followed a long discussion, culminating into a grand finale.

The news was about how women are attracted by body odor of men and hence the deo sales should go down. It was the byproduct of so many trivial researches that toe-nail-chewing scientists do.

"Cortisol levels in the women who smelled androstadienone, a derivative of testosterone; shot up within roughly 15 minutes and stayed elevated for up to an hour."

Androstadienone is the male chemical signal. Here.....I drop it and there u get dropped.

Apart from the nasty scientific discussion we can indulged in, a lot of single male species came in with a new found argument. They justified their singledom and inability of female appeasement to their regular bathing habits and hygiene. Hydrophobia would result in a stinking male homo sapiens, which would coz the human body to be the fort of accumulated androstadienone and thus females would stick to him.

Soon, the repercussions were seen in the Annual POTY awards (Person of the year awards). A separate category was created for "hydrophobia award" for the one who bathes the least.

POTY nite didn't spring any surprise. Geela hosted the awards nite (which is also our farewell nite). The hydrophobia award was bagged by none other than our neighbor peepu.. Yikes!!.

Moment of reckoning came when "ADAM and EVE award" for the most sticky couple was announced and the winner was again Dopey and Peepu.

Geela straightway announced, their stickiness to be the true testament for the article on women and odor.

Geela: "Dopey; sticking with peepu, the hydrophobia award winner!!! It has to be true love...

.. but, Dopey..."

with frustration and anguish in his face, he screams: " .....HOW?"

Labels: college, fun, Miscallaneous

3 Ants in my pants:

At 2/13/2007 06:51:00 AM, Lizze said...: and in the real world:

if you want to find a girls, be clean and USE a deo

period.
At 2/15/2007 11:23:00 PM, Slim said...: Yeah, unfortunately evolution has made women more attractive towards the half-homosexual (aka metro) man :(
At 2/19/2007 10:52:00 PM, JAY said...: Yeah .... women have bad taste :P

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Captain Courageous and His Dharma. [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 1:44 AM |(5) comments|

Forgive me for -
One- I indulge in excessive self adulation [Cause though it may be wrong, it doesn't take my right to talk about my feats.]..... and thus u have been lawyered

two - While I write this, I have already slipped into trance listening to one of my fav. bands Rammstein.

three - captain courageous has nothing to do with dharma. The story is in two parts.
___________________________________________________________________
Captain Cook

Interdorm cricket is something that takes the interdorm rivalry to a new level. Being the defending champions puts extra burden on us and considering we don't have the batting strength we had last year, our task is really cut out. Someone had put the team name in the notice board with me as the captain. Things really are weird here.

The taming bulls - Bhooke(cap). Geela. Chuli. Puchi.Cryo.Appu.TJ and Jhalak(wk).

The 1st match was against one of the toughest teams in the tournament and we, the defending champions entered the arena as the underdogs.We scored a pathetic 39. When it was time to bowl, the opponents made a mockery of our bowling. Soon, they were chanting "where is the next team". Our shoulders were down. Suddenly, Geela started bowling like a drunken monkey. Opponents started getting run out in a mad rush. In the last over they were supposed to score 5 runs to win. Yours truly and sincerely Jay took the ball. I bowled a negative line. The opponents gave away their wickets and lost by one run. Hurrays.It took some time b4 realization of the victory sank in.

Sounds Fatalistic. Atleast, we are through to Quarter Finals.

__________________________________________________________________
Dharma

In our leadership class, we had to make a presentation on "Idealism and reality" based on Iravati Karve's Book "Yuganta". We had three characters to portray "Karna, Aswathama and Krishna" (Tongue twister ?.. no doubt the exchange students from Europe excused themselves from this Hindu mythological discussion)

We planned a decent role play and we pulled it well too, except one technical goof up. I used one of my favorite Fonts "Samarakan"(below), but I couldn't install it on the classroom comp.

As usual the classroom produced some intense discussion splashed with corny display of humor which reached rock bottom.

The faculty is moderating the discussion and asks to draw parallel between the character of Krishna and Rama.

She says "Though both are considered Gods, Rama is the one people look up to and not Krishna.Even when Mahatma Gandhi was shot, he said Hey Rama"

interruption 1 - Ma'm, That's also because Rama is easier to pronounce than Krishna

laughter.

interruption 2 - Ma'm. actually the chant goes . "Hare rama , hare krishna." So, Gandhiji mentioned Rama first and before he could say Krishna ... he was no more.

man!!!!.

However, the following cracker was a bit respectable.

Characters of Karna and his quest to be recognised as one of the royal blood was being discussed, when some1 mentioned the dreaded word RACISM. Some fellowmen started giggling.
On being asked to share what was it that got them tickled, prompt came the anecdote-

Well, last Sunday we had been to dorm dinner and Mukul ordered SIZZLING BROWNIES.

To that Geela commented - "Had u been in England u would have been charged with Racism and atleast watchout that Shilpa Shetty is not watching"

The faculty later said " In fact, this city is famous for its' sizzling brownies."

.......

don't laugh. literally.

Labels: college, Sports

5 Ants in my pants:

At 2/11/2007 05:51:00 AM, Trigger said...: Had u said that ("sizzling brownies") in Nigeria, the most u would have received would've been non-plussed looks :-) People judge less by innuendo in speech than by overt action. And I'm impressed you've paid more attention to ur typos. Only two this time (I'll let u guess which and which). U're the bomb, JJ. Hare Rama - oops, was it 'Krisna' first:-)?
At 2/11/2007 02:53:00 PM, JAY said...: "people judge by innuendo in speech less than by overt action" - that's a random generalization .. and a sweeping statement... It solely depends on how much the society is evolved ... :)..

Hare Rama .. Hare Krishna.
At 2/11/2007 10:45:00 PM, Trigger said...: This comment has been removed by the author.
At 2/12/2007 03:50:00 AM, Trigger said...: yeah...I see how you'd misunderstand that. I was carrying on a train of thought about Nigerians, but I guess you missed that 'cos I didn't say, "people HERE judge...". My bad :-)
At 2/12/2007 02:18:00 PM, JAY said...: He he he .. exactly Trigger happy.

I know u meant people THERE judge.

that's y I added with "sarcasm" that ... it solely depends on how much the society has evolved...(the society which is judging :P).

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Battlehardened [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 1:58 AM |(7) comments|

This is hardcore. (Yup, not much is here for nubile minds.)

Rated - A
Theme - A hard Days Night

4:15 pm - I had put on my business casual and rushed to CR5. I took the comb in one pocket, so that I could rest the bouncing souls on my head called hair, to rest; while I walked to the CR5. If u are late u have to flush out 250 bucks.

4:30 pm- 5:30pm - the presentation by this company, which claims to be the 2nd largest FMCG in India (pre Gillete-PnG marriage) starts with the display of "uncommon sense", which is their idea of existance.
Well, one good thing they distribute After Shower Cream and a Aftershower Gel.

wierd.

Then, for an hour they go on to pitch in as to how wonderful it is to work in that organization.. I am impresssed.

5:45 pm- I rush to the computer center (I have been playing the Commodity trading game there). I see a slump in the silver and gold prices. I start buying a couple of lots. Soon, there is a news flash in Kitco.com that some funds have started buying Gold. Gold prices start to rise so wht do I do .. I take some short (sell) positions.

No prizes for guessing the bullion prices never go back .. and I start losing money. I decide to go back and sleep.

8:30 pm - I came back to room. and started reading a book "the new world of microenterprise finance". I was supposed to submit a review next morning.

10:00 pm - I couldn't resist sleep. :)

00:30 am - I woke up to reality. Start slipping the pages of the book. fast and furious.

7:00 am - I completed a review of 4000 words. Then, I started another book.

10:10 pm- I finish both the reviews. Rush to Ludo's room. wake him up. Start his comp and fire the print out. y don't they keep their system fast and running. geez. Meanwhile, far-far away from the maddening moments the class where the review was to be submitted has already started.

10:10 am - I enter the classroom with a thumping noise of hands hitting the desks and everyone staring at me.

Mr. Sriram welcomes me in the class."Did u submit both the reviews". I answer by nodding my head in affirmative. "Are u able to walk? (he he he.. my foot) If, u wanna go back and sleep, I will allow you and If u wanna stay, that is possible only in one condition - u have to promise You won't snore".

No Answers.

"I have been Nasty to you"

No Answers. (Nasty. Nasty... Hell ya!! u have been Nasty.)

**FlashBack***

The book review was allotted like a month ago. However, I realized only two days back that the book I was supposed to cover, wasn't available. I was roaming around in a corridor, where I was supposed to be interviewed for a Job that I saw the prof passing by. I informed the prof that I didn't find the particular book and instead picked another by the same author. the prof gave me a mouthful before he realized my neatly pressed suit and asked " Are you going for a job interview?" I said "yes". " Well, then go in a good mood and talk to me in the class next day."

The next day. He asked me to submit reviews on two books. Punishment for bad planning. I had only one day to go.

So I had finished 2 book reviews of 4000 words each in one night. One of the Book was about SBA Loan guarantees to the Bank credits by the federal government and the only thing it discussed was how badly run and managed the whole program was in the early 1950s.

Gladly it was the profs last class and thats my experience with one of the best prof i met was to end.

"Ok, So bye bye for now and all the best for your careers.Its time for me to gossip in our lobby with other teachers." Pause. and stare. ""what do you think only students gossip. Faculty also have their own juices to share. The crime committed on you is an organized one." Wide smile. "Good morning Jay and Bye"

11:15 am - I am back to my room. I check my mail-box and reply to some penis enlargement kit messages.

Oh, when would they stop.

11:45 am - I adorn myself in business casuals again and enter the CR5 (again!!), which adorned itself for a mega cola war. Yes, this time it was Pepsico presentation.

Good thing about them, they distributed us lots of free Pepsi and Mountain dew. Bad thing, I am not very fond of Pepsi products. They made us play a game in four groups named "Pepsi, Aquafina, Tropicana, Fritolay". We were supposed to solve an operation problem for them.

The Fritolay group presented an algorithm to solve their distribution problem and walked away with the prize.

1:30pm - I finished my mountain dew and walked towards the dining hall for Lunch.

2:00 pm- I come back to room. I check the Gold prices and silver prices. They had climbed further up. more losses. I sit back and wait for the prices to go down. They didn't.

5:00pm- I come back to room dejected and open my comp to see a news in www.kitco.com

"Gold prices crash from an all time high because the funds face losses".

A bit too little too late.

Labels: Business, college, Miscallaneous

7 Ants in my pants:

At 2/03/2007 11:35:00 AM, Lizze said...: Firstly, I don't like the Beatles ... just so you know :)

And I am a Diet Coke girl so I totally agree with you re Pepsi.
And what, they can't afford to pay the students with proper money for the suggestion that is gonna make them more money? *tsk*
Real case scenarios are great when you are a student, but Pepsi shouldn't take advantage of it.

And as for your Commodity trading, man you need to be crack ... ehhh... blackberry up and keep an eye on the market 24/7 and not let book reviews and classes come in the way.
At 2/03/2007 11:37:00 AM, Lizze said...: AND

your post doesn't come up in my RSS reader ... just this:
Battlehardened
| 12:28 by JAY
At 2/03/2007 01:14:00 PM, JAY said...: yay for u r not a pepsi gal..

boo for u don't like Beatles.

They didn't give us money but they gave some shitty prize to the winner who solved the case.

Oh hell ya !! I need to devote more time in the commodity trade.. [but anyways.. i lost only 2500 bucks rest was contributed by my broker and college's trading club :)].

Ur RSS reader sucks :|
At 2/03/2007 01:53:00 PM, Lizze said...: No, my RSS reader doesn't suck. Don't complain. First you are bullying me a la Jade Goody style to get me to use RSS and the you don't have the right RSS whatever so I can follow your blog.

I'd do with oil instead of gold. Gold usually goes up when it is a new Iraq war starting or similar. Gold is the safe haven when the fin.stats can't tell the future.
I am, of course, don't practice what I preach. Well, actually, I am investing in Russia mutual funds and they are linked up with oil indirectly.
At 2/03/2007 03:17:00 PM, JAY said...: I was not doing Gold instead of Crude coz it was a Gold mini contract.. so smaller volumes & less exposure. We had a cap on the exposure (Because it was arranged by a third party AND COLLEGE for our sake :( ).. and today the game was closed so had to square off all positions at losses.

I trade only in equities, currently. Russian Mutual funds is a nice idea.. will start my research on them soon.

Lizze everything is dependent on "OIL" :P

and :P If I did a Jade Goody.. on u .. Thank me .. now u can become a failed-actress-turned-star like Shilpa :)
At 2/04/2007 09:42:00 PM, erlynda said...: A Hard Days Night... hahaha. i haven't been hearing that song for quite some time now. love it though. you got good taste in music. just like the saying "old is gold". ^^

cheers!
At 2/05/2007 07:05:00 PM, JAY said...: Hellolz Erlynda.

Yeah. old is gold :) Tell that to Lizze.

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The pregnant woman. [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 10:29 PM |(2) comments|

Once upon a time, when Jay had a plan (refer the previous post). Aliens launched a "crack attack".. blisters sprouted on the skin.. dark clouds covered the sky.. television had "Oprah" all day... Britney won a Grammy.. Bush got a third term.

**snap**

They started drinking too many too fast. shots after shots. Cranberry nectar packs were short. During the western choreo itself, peepu and G-spot made a mess of it. Peepu started rolling all over the floor. Dopey had more than a handful to hold. Rubby was trying to pacify everyone.
To cool everyone down, we came back to the canteen. sipping coffee and chit-chatting. Fashion parade was about to begun. Suddenly, the three men (Rubby, peepu and G-spot), expressed their desire to be taken to the room. Dopey took Peepu. Komal took G-spot and I took Rubby.

That was not a good idea.

Rubby puked all over. After that, I stayed in my room looking after Rubby. Meanwhile, Fashion Parade got over and Prestorika performed in my absence. Nextday, the remorse of missing out on the metal bands' bitch-slap-kick-ass music took over Rubby and he kept abusing me for not taking care of him. I kept wondering "wtf".

and yes The Caribbeans turned the tables and whipped the naked ass of Indians.

So, we decided not to drink and spoil our plans like this again (Still we had two days of concert to go). After delivering a baby, A pregnant woman always swears not to go through all that pain again.
___________________________________________________________________

hangover persists.. everyone is feeling wasted . After the boring day, a round of fone calls start among the friends. I pinch everyone with a message : "I am the unconquered one as everyone else couldn't handle the vodka fest".

Rubby takes the bait: "bitch, I started drinking when u were in the womb".

"What do u say dopey, feel like drinking b4 the show?" "I just woke up and my head still hurts plus I have an assignment submission tomorrow". " ..picture two months ahead and everyone else has nothing else left in life but to watch data from Reuters on the computer screen. None of the friends would be around"

pause.pause.pause.
Dopey : " Can u get me some dope"

( Alas! After an year she gets pregnant again)

Labels: college, fun, life

2 Ants in my pants:

At 2/02/2007 01:13:00 AM, Trigger said...: "...so they drank thru time forever and a day; lost manly form and like mules did bray; till morning struck their temples sore; and bid them pilgrim to Bangalore; though when they arrived, they knew not what for..." hehehe...A lyrical look at the Labor of the Lager Larks...
At 2/03/2007 03:19:00 AM, JAY said...: and people ask me y do i roll my eyes so much.

Welcome back trigger happy. U deserve a poetic justice.

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Cranberries with the pyromaniac [+/-,show/hide post]

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by JAY @ 5:07 PM |(1) comments|

Today is the third day into "Chaos". Its already 5 pm. Western Choreo is gonna start in an hour. It would be followed by Fashion Parade and then the whole nite ROCK competition to be moderated and judged by Prestorika.

Meanwhile , down south in Chennai, Indian Batsmen are murdering the Caribbeans in cricket.

To keep up the pace with all the excitement we have made arrangements to spice up our mood. We just came back from the mall and we bought Cranberry Nectar (loads), Red Bull and Lays. The news has just filtered in that Vodka wouldn't be at premium.

Rubby, Myself, Komal, G-SPOT(yes, thats his name), Peepu and Dopey planned for everything yestrday itself after a dull Remo and Mynta performance. So, we are gonna assemble in Dopey's room and gonna pour all the Vodka inside and go to the Fashion parade. (muahahahah! we would be allowed in the premium section of the crowd because we are volunteering for some logistic work in the Fashion parade and the Fashion Parade Coordinator STD is our dorm mate

)

Dopey has god level limits of boozing and she maintains such composure. However, her boyfriend the pyromaniac peepu would do the balancing act by going wild. Hope we will be able to keep the match box and lighter away from his sight.
Anyways. its better that he goes wild, because I would need company for my post drinking no-holds-barred act of craziness.

(thankfully, I was able to push aside all the relatives, who asked for guest passes of the shows and wanted me to be with them during the show.. he he he I am evil). In the pic, u can see pyromaniac peepu at his decent best.

Labels: chaos, college, fun

1 Ants in my pants:

At 1/30/2007 12:08:00 PM, louise said...: sweeeeet

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