Sunday, April 05, 2009
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Jaybert is from Elbonia. Elbonia is a little known fourth world town in the communist Bengal. Elbonia has been famous only because long back a large cache of arms was dropped in its mainland to fight the mindless rule of Communists. However, all the hopes of a great renaissance died when the mighty people of Elbonia decided to use the rocket launchers to tie their cows.
Jaybert has been working in a city in the heart of the communists, disguised as a supply chain expert. Secretly, he works with the brotherhood to overturn the communists one day.
Just about two years ago, Jaybert had joined as a fresh and young graduate in an organization, and worked hard to expand the Supply Chain Operations. He expanded the operations for entire 2 years. He accumulated some net +ve accolades (summation of all the brickbats and accolades). Today, Jaybert has just executed a plan to reduce the warehouse area and make all the processes lean.
Pointy haired Boss - What next?(Apologies to hard core ADAM SCOTT fans, for the shortcomings in the above piece especially the lingo)
Jaybert - Do I go beyond and open more warehouses?
Pointy haired Boss - Please, feel free to do so as long as you don't ask for cash.
Jaybert - No Cash!!... ummm.. do I get a permission to go and try to win one of those reality TV competitions. This will get us cash, keep me busy for a few months and no one has to know.
Pointy haired Boss - What are the odds?
Jaybert - Let's say, If I compete as a transvestite with a big rack, in a show called Dancing Queen, I can at least reach the semis without a fight. The other option is to enroll into Big Boss, where the probablity to win the event is high even if someone lacks talent.
Pointy haired Boss - That's TV jazz and is risky too. I would need money to fix you to win the competition.
Jaybert - What do I do then? I don't have work. Are you gonna fire me?
Pointy haired Boss - Not really. I already got Catbert to fire your other colleagues. Who do I boss around? Besides you are too cute to let go.
Someone poking the "pitchspoon" into Jaybert's sordid posterior, by now, goes unnoticed.
Jaybert - hmm.. What should I do?
Pointy haired Boss - There is one guy eligible to ask questions here and that's not you. Besides I pay you to think.
Jaybert - I can do one thing. There were two warehouses I built last year. I can destroy them now. It will take about 6 months and then, we can rebuild it ,which will take another 6 months. So, we get busy for the entire year.
Pointy haired Boss - great! I like it.
While you do it, keep some reasons ready for justification of your actions.
1 Ants in my pants:
- At 4/05/2009 05:32:00 PM, said...
Links to this post:[Hide (1) comments]
Check out this >> Lotsa Lota!
You do feel proud to be associated with such a person. So many of his batchmates like me, got lured by corporates - He decided against it. He has started "Samriddhi" - which delivers vegetables to the customers in association with vendors and farmers. He has involved every stakeholder in the entire value chain. Foremost he decided to go back to his roots - in Bihar - and pull it off.
2 Ants in my pants:
NMTV Personalities of the year are NMMC SCC Sandeep Naik and commissioner Vijay Nahata
He is young, he is suave, he is tech-savvy and he defies the belief that politicians are a gang of good-for-nothings. Exposed to the world of politics at a young age, the younger son of Thane Guardian Minister Ganesh Naik comes from that breed of educated, young politicians that the nation craves for today. His dynamicity as a leader came to the forefront only after he took over as the Standing Committee Chairman of NMMC.
- At 12/12/2012 11:46:00 AM, said...
[url=http://ivlkrwnnz.com]MTBdXMzZIlyV[/url] , ZXWXsozDSoO , http://hhmgziigpu.com
Links to this post:[Hide (2) comments]
These super techies were well educated and smart, but the job on offer was comparatively mundane. The money on the other hand was easy, there was lure of overseas stint, and a better quality of corporate life that the new IT companies offered.However, two things happened in this unholy alliance -
1. Soon, with an experience of 2 - 3 yrs they were bored and looking to get the MBAs by cracking things like CAT/GMAT etc.
2. The bored super techie, with ample time/money on hand and an easy tech access - got interested in Online indulgence into the Equity Market and its cousins . No wonder emergence of the online brokerage/penetration of internet/booming economy and the bored Super Techie in an IT company forged an alliance.
Aditya, fell prey to the "obvious second one", stated above; whereas,I was still as non serious as I was two years back (prior to my MBA days). Aditya, in the dinner table would randomly throw a few questions to me like - "given a chance which sector you would bet on?". Then, what would follow was typical MBA global gyan on sectoral growth. Real estate,Retail and Infrastructure would form the core of our discussions. One interesting thing he had revealed to me during such discussions was - his penchant to back companies with strong leaders and an easy way out is - the companies driven by IITians. Thus, he would discuss with me - IndiaBulls, its rise and future growth plans. I was impressed indeed. He would also explain his game plan - The Markets are on the rise and its gonna surge like this for probably next two years - Here is the chance to maximize our gains and then it will be a super neo Hindu growth story.
Its been one year and things have changed since then. I am looking to call him soon and let him know a few of the things that is happening now:
. An erstwhile busy Investment Banker is finding time to comment on my Tagboard. Wackiness of his comments are not at all proportional to "the squeeze" in the market.( Who is etika ).
. A famous movie from 80s starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas, is going to the editor's table and now the opening trailer would read "Once upon a time in NY, there was a wall street.."
. Top 10 Email Spams: A forwarded email by a colleague of mine is finding a place into the top 10 email Spams. This was an email on the walk-ins for Lehman Employee's by another Investment Bank in India.
. Corporate Bankers: With work, less likely to come by,the city bankers have installed NFS (need for speed) on their comps. No corporate client is likely to walk by, to borrow money at such high interest rates.
. Jaywalking Jay is back to blogging - He has time to sit and fiddle around with his comp. The sudden space has been provided by the decision to cull new retail projects and go slow on spending.
. Super techie Thorny is looking for start-ups. New projects are drying up for the IT biggies. Banking is a big customer.
. My consistent cousin who talks once a year to me had called to say "Hi". During the conversation, he drops in the news of layoffs to be announced by the Steel sector in coming months and how he is wondering what to do. Surely, one option is to pass on the CV to me.
These fretting facts, though from different parts of the world they are, point towards one inevitable truth - The slowdown is here - before than we expected and more monstrous than we have ever seen.
0 Ants in my pants:
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My Cellphone was incessant. The whole world breaks lose to disturb my beauty sleep, which anyways has long alured me since I moved outta college.
6 Ants in my pants:
Oh, good to see you back again Jay Bhaiya! This is Ish..deado..you remember? I was wondering where you are..so it's Kolkata now. Situation doesn't seem very good but anyway, how is everything else going? It's great to see you again.
I also wanted to ask another thing, are you still a part of the iBored blog we had? If so, can you please send me another invite to that on this ID with which I'm posting a comment?
yeah been an ardous journey.. Wassup with ya ... live an kicking with a loads of blogging?
.. iBored .. yeah it shows in my dash board .. but i donno if i can invite anyone.. will check it some time.
I'm fine, still blogging yeah. Now looking to attend college. What's been up with you?
And don't worry about iBored. We figured it out ourselves.
- At 8/03/2008 10:13:00 PM, said...
- At 8/10/2008 03:41:00 PM, said...
Links to this post:[Hide (6) comments]
"Can u see anything".
I smiled. "Then slow down the bike".
"Arre its too slowwww.." Couldn't complete it. Damn bump dram hump pump. I only had an idea something was going wrong. The front wheel wasn't on the road anymore. Seemed we were sliding down a pit. Suddenly, the body mass of existence flew in air. The laptop that was till now sitting pretty on my back, was suddenly over my head pulling me along.
My palm touched the ground 1st and the cell fone slammed on the flat hard road. (Sehwag's mom had advised to keep the cellphone mutthi mein - not my fault) I wasn't resisting any of these nature's call. I just let it go and with a sommersault I was 6 fts away from the bike. The Laptop was still hanging around though.
The whole episode was no less exciting than experiencing . The only regret remained - "the flashlights and cameras around to capture the "somersault" or pretty chicks watching me do the act :(.
49 Ants in my pants:
Yeah big shame that there was no cameras around .... would have been to see that ;)
Glad you + friend are ok
look this is the "diet" i told you about you should really enter the site :) bye enter the site
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Cyrus: No offence to Alyque, the play was…
Boman: Go ahead and offend Alyque. It’s okay.
Cyrus: Yes, the play was really bad. And the only good part about the play was the pimp… you.
Boman: Parsi mothers are always very proud of their children. After the show, my mother asked around, ‘Did you like my son?’ They didn’t know who her son was. So she said, ‘The pimp is my son.’ Someone ask ed her if she wanted a lift, and she said, ‘My son will drop me.’ ‘Who will drop you,’ they asked from the other end of the lobby and she went, ‘My son… the… the pimp will drop me. Don’t bother.’
Boman: You’re making fun of my mom by laughing. But yes, growing up in a Parsi family, I’m used to Parsi moms. Every time the dhobi comes, she would go, ‘Tum idhar tehro. Main kapda nikaal ke aati hoon’ (You wai t here. I will remove the clothes and come).
Boman: You are laughing at my mom again. I’m offended. (mockingly)
Cyrus: Tell me about the classic romance. Your wife used to buy only 100gm of chips from your shop everyday.
Boman: Dumb me, I would not understand why she would buy 100gm everyday when she could buy in bulk. And then, it struck me that maybe…
Cyrus: Her version is that you were the one who gave her 100 gm everyday saying that you were not allowed to give more. But we’ll stick to yours.
0 Ants in my pants:
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"T. Nagar, Sivaji Ganeshan Road"
lolz lolz lolz.. I rolled my eyes and wondered- the craziness has been underrated.
5 Ants in my pants:
Ha ha ha I am still here .. i will leave today evening. I lost ur no.
Geela is my dormie and batchmate.
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this was as close as he cud get to Ricky Balboa. Now, Ricky Babloa is a grown up young man and his physique would put his nameshake to shame. He is a towering 5 feet and is heavier than thy (prolly 45kgs). Whenever, I am back home he comes to visit me. We share a lot of information amongst each other. Now a days he is busy imitating some Bangladeshi folksinger. He painted his face and performed exactly like it was done by the originally artist. Later, I found it in youtube too. The Dayal Baba phenomenon.In deep roots of India people get more joy out of a Dayal Baba from Bangladesh than a Younis Khan (the nobel peace prize winner), Taslima (lajja etc etc) or Monica Ali(a booker prize winner for Brick Lane).
When it was my turn to share something with him. I couldn't resist but to tell him everything he always wanted to know about sex, and also, to rekindle his dad's movie mania we sat together to watch Woody Allen's first blockbuster. Ricky Babloa almost died of a laugh riot when the 2nd story in the movie started. It went on like this :
An Old Armenian guy visits a doctor. Doctor asks, " what is your problem?"
"Doctor, I am in love with a sheep". "A what..!!" "A sheep".
Doc is in shock he is just unable to utter any word. After a while he musters all his energy and patiently says," umm I see".
The Armenian guy, "U see doctor, in the heights of those Armenian Mountains. No body is out there. At times it gets lonely and I am not married. That night I was feeling so low and there she was .. so beautiful .. so serene.. soothing me.."
The doc," the sheep!!" ...." Yes, The Sheep" and the Arenian Continued,"I cudn't resist myself doctor.. I made love to her and it was the best sex I ever Had".
The Doc,"ok. So what is the problem?"
"You see Doc.. now, she no longer loves me.. I Can feel it .. It hurts. She no longer wants me, after so many nights together... It breaks my heart.. You have to do something about it doctor. My brother says you are Great. You treated him. I know no one else. you have to do it." And he rushes to bring the sheep in the clinic. Doc kept yelling behind his back... "stop, don't do that.. I am not a veterinarian."
But the sheep is brought in and doctor checks it and falls in love with the sheep.
Later, the doc's wife divorces him for adultery.
As soon as this story was over Ricky Babloa got up and said that he gotta get back to his home. I said that he should wait coz the movie ain't over yet. Ricky Babloa said, "My dad is alone in home, I gotta go fast".
I said, "oh! Is he sick?" He said,"No!!!.. I have 12 sheeps".
0 Ants in my pants:
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Court. copulate and produce.
My mailbox has started receiving excessive spams of viagra and cialis ads. When it rains it really pains :((.
3 Ants in my pants:
So my (single) aunt told me the following a few years back:
When she was in her 30s, all her friends were getting married and having children, she felt a bit low.
At her 40s when her friends were going through divorces, she was like an eagle. She had her own life, she could travel when and wherever she wanted with no kids to consider first and everything to look forward to.
I didn't have it in my life plan to get married but then again, life can be a bitch sometimes ;)
You don't have to comply or follow other people’s timetable ... follow your own - it is your life after all.
My brother got married recently too, I guess he's around 28 or something but he did it on his own. Now that I'm thinking, it's weird no one had started bugging him.
It's real funny when your older brother gets married and all the aunties in the family are like,,"You're next, now it's your turn" and I'm like ," Fuck I'm just 17." But they never learn, do they?
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So it has rubbed on to me, I've gotten into politics and I picked up this news about Wolfowitz. Sounds NAZI.. Nah re. Infact, he is a Jew. President of World Bank. Served in the defence deptt. All the sleazy CV points.
So, this guy is on the news coz of the nepotism he has indulged in. Now, there is an Indian connection to it. Bush made him the president of World Bank to clease corruption. All the presidents of the World Bank have to be Americans .. So, much for the proponents of democracy (rolls his eyes).
So, a man on a mission sends a troupe of lawyers to India to check the corruption in the Health Sector fundings. They summon our Finance Minister Mr. P. Chidambaram and wanted to interrogate him .. phewww. The FinMin refused to talk to anyone except their leader ( I guess it was Shaha Riza herself (correct me, if I m wrong). Pissed off. They all went back and recommonded the blockade of all funds to India's Health Mission. And it got Blocked. Some people still treat the third world as their colonies.
Now, its time for Mr. Wolf to answer. He has been charged with showing extra favors to Shaha Riza and had granted her extra powers. Hi hi hi ... ho ho ho... Maza Aaaya
4 Ants in my pants:
- At 4/22/2007 08:56:00 PM, said...
That's a great publication on the subject fighting the communists Add your blog site to the bizleadsnet collection.
yeah, jj, u spelt Riza right. and very enlightening, the behind-the-scene build-up to the Wolfowitz scandal. r these issues, the fractious India visit and the probe on the WB Pres., connected, or is that stretching it a teeny bit...?
btw, as long as you thought out ur future prospects thoroughly, you needn't bother with the peer pressure to start out as self-supporting entrpreneurs. It's all risk, whatever you do; the key ingredient that'll determine whether you succeed or get sucked under is...you
...methinks a decision's been made about the Wolf-Riza issue, anyway, except a media lull is being contrived to wane public attention before the axe falls. Whether it's Wolfowitz, Riza, or the Benedict Arnold who blew the whistle, heads will roll, count on it...
- At 4/23/2007 03:03:00 PM, said...
I knew writing about politics wd tickle whose bones.. and Trigger it is.. :P.
No the trial for Wolf is noty connected to the behind the scene issue in India.. but was just highlighting the fact.. how one whio is to cleanse corruption is being triad for corruption .. :P
and thanx for the kind words about entrepreneurship issue... but Trigger gimme somethng new :)
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Once upon a time there was a king. He ruled an empire which was fast losing its shine and energy. It seemed to be falling down in the dumps. The king would spend time playing chess with a machine, a new technology which was brought to him from an alien land. The machine was referred to by the messenger from far west as the computer. The frustration of not being able to beat the silly machine never got on to the king and he played chess endlessly.
His queen, the mighty woman who stayed with him in his thick and thin would go by the day’s rituals patiently. She would cook, wash and express her dissatisfaction over the shitty work the housekeeper does. Often, to break the monotone she would complain to the King to move to the nearby summer capital Ranchi (also a hill station). The king would brush aside all such expectations. The king was too happy to live in the heat and mistreat, that his castle would bring to him. He in fact wanted to add one more floor to the magnanimity, he called his castle.Why not? He so dearly himself designed the castle.
Designing was one of his old passions. When his fellow princes would go to hunting he would sketch towers on his drawing board. Only now (he is not a public servant anymore) that designing doesn’t earn him any revenue, else he owes his complete pension fund to an engineers' work. Even today people come and ask to design their houses, but they no more pay him and take it for granted, considering it a genuine help the King is willing to offer selflessly. The cost of such a service has surpassed the goodwill it generates. The new machine that his prince had once introduced to him is a wily old creature in designing too, however; the king hates such mechanical interference in his work.
More often than not he finds himself indulging in “remote fights” with his queen.(Its both fighting for the remote control of television and fighting from a distance). Ask him to look 6 yrs back, and he would laugh; ‘cause then he used to tease his lovely queen about the crappy soaps she used to watch. Now, he himself has fallen prey to the web that these family dramas spin. Slaves inform us that they often get bored watching each other and arguments or little fights are just a pass time.
Recently, the queen has seen a buzz in her feet. The King has renovated his castle and pruned all the bushes in his garden, that he created by himself. They say their son is returning home triumphantly from the battlefield. The king took his old chariot, an old and legendary white ambassador, to the station to pick him up. After a bit of tom toming, the charioteer brought everyone home safely.
The prince, excited at the plans he had for his mother was brimming with happiness. He opened the gates and rushed towards his mom. He touched his mom's feet and hugged her. Sigh. Its been two years.
The prince picked her up in his arms and started dancing. The words of Led Zepp’s whole lotta love started ringing in his head. Before he could sing baby you need cooling.., the queen’s eyes lit up in excitement. She saw the companions of the prince in the chariot. There was this little niece of the prince who had come along with him. The queen rushed towards the kid and picked him in her arms. Then she yelled “Say hello grandma”.
The prince thinks … oh! There goes my share of love. Then he turns back and looks at the kid and smiles.
The prince is played by your own Jay. The King is his dear dad and the almighty queen is his mom.
Though the prince couldn’t sing the Led Zepp number; he soon would and he would don a 70s show attire and would belt the guitar and would record it and sing...
You need cooling.
Baby I am not fooling
I am gonna send ya back to schooling
Way way inside, honey you need
I am gonna give u my love
I am gonna give u my love
Whole lotta love
Whole lotta love
(Imagine, you singing this to a middle aged Indian housewife who doesn't even know there is world of rock that exists in the same planet..)
Foot note: By the time Jay posted this on his blog.....King's affection for his son was on a wane...and was back to doing his disciplinarian act like scolding for sleeping till 10 in the morning, not taking a bath till 1 pm ..taking his lunch very late and yeah! not shutting his Laptop.
But, you know Jay ..right?.. Like father like son ... Old Habits die hard.
5 Ants in my pants:
You write the most unusual post, if I tried to do something similar it would just be so lame ... you, you do it fine.
Once you bother to read my blog, I have got you something ...
- At 4/21/2007 08:37:00 PM, said...
Jester bole to :P.
Slimo .. i tried to post a comment thrice on ya page .. all unsexessful.. my penis went limp :(.
Lizze.. what ya mean .. the style suits me.. (suspects sarcasm). but thanku for the t shirt paape.
The possible sarcasm bit was you reading my blog. I got scared that I might loose your interest so I am trying with a bribe. I emailed you but it bounced back ...
I am sincere about you are writing the unusual post and I could never pull that off the excellent way that you do.
Oh Lizze.. Sweet .. I am not losing interest in ur ur posts at all .. Just that i am not finding enopugh time to surf... u know spending some time with family :)