Jay's oeuvre

In last few days, I have chalked out 200 plans for the coming holidays and erased them. Hence, the frustration of not being able to come out with anything is growing inside me. It is pinching me and the bitterness is flowering.

Iron Maiden concert in Bangalore this month seems already a distant future. Precariously hanging, is also my Goa plan. G-Spot is dancing in the corner of my mind with his offer to go to Vaisno Devi. It is easier to fight US elections, than fix a plan for me. STD accuses me of the laziest and slowest guy to have roamed this earth.. Holy crap!!!! wd u believe it .. he he he.

I am lazy and slow. But O.J. Simpson beats me blue at that. Didn't you hear his latest claim. He says:

"Anna Nicole Smith's child is actually his. The gal child was born late because of his slow moving sperms. He hopes that there is no DNA test, otherwise it would be found that he is the father. He is among the three other men who have thrown their hats in the ring and claim the child is their."



Weird as it may sound, It would certainly do Anna proud if she is looking from the up-above. This is just the second weird findings of the week. The banana split guy, who lives close by introduced me to his cousin. Conversations took us around the world. From Charlie Sheen's hairdo in Hot Shots to Theory of olives from "How I met your mother".

She listens to Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. She says she is a big fan of their music. I said, "gulp!! gulp!! ok". It would have been easier to swallow had she just said she likes Red Hot Chilli Peppers, as the band is known now-a-days.
When she asked me what I listen to, I said, "cacophony of the weirdest lizard on earth which surely isn't miraculously majestic master of mayhem's fluidity." ..ok.. whatever it meant... bleh..

She said are u applying Theory of olives. Aha!! something I had an idea about. Theory of olives states that if you like olives and the counterpart doesn't there is an attraction.So , if some one likes red hot chilli peppers i wouldn't.
I said, "may be, if it impresses you ... however,I hardly have an idea what I am doing, except for attempting a sarcastic take on ur taste in music.. And in which I have failed measurably."

She shrugged her shoulders. I shrugged her mine.

As I am graduating, bypassing the Gyan distribution in my very own blog would be a gross error. So, I am gonna bowl short spells of friendly biodegradable knowledge from my wallet.

Last fortnight was a whirlwind in the economy. The inflation touched a mammoth high, the annual exercise of Budget by the Finmin was tabled, the top B-Schools in the country entered the campus recruitment season and the grand old man of intestine Mr. Alan Greenspan opened his mouth again.

Talking of inflation, the reason is a palpable supply constraint. Too much money is chasing too few goods. The growing demand is exceeding the production capacities. Among other goods, Oil and petroleum is a substantial determinant of how inflation would go. India imports heavily and pays in rupees for it. Now, we do not let the Rupees to appreciate (limited floating), hence we have to pay a lot to import the oil. If Rupee appreciates against the Dollar the imports would become cheaper and the prices of oil can be brought down and hence the inflation too. Having said so its not that simple either. It spells doom for the exports and especially the software companies like Infosys; which are heavily dependent on software and services exports. Infact, it doesn't seem a good year for software companies. After enjoying a tax holiday of about 10 years they have been brought under the ambit of MAT (minimum alternative tax). No doubt the response from Bangalore was meek and gloomy. Meanwhile, the inflation is yet to be tamed.

Much ado about nothing: Alan Greenspan predicted about 33% chance of a global recession. Considering the fact that global economy was overheating after enjoying a 6th consecutive year of recovery, it seemed a correction factor. Stocks across the globe which had started tumbling two days ago .. actually made a comeback today. Greenspan's words couldn't dampen it further.

The reflection in my home: Today IIM Bangalore, one of the premier management institutes in India, saw its Day Zero placements today. It wasn't as rosy as expected in a year when the economy has prolly grown about 9.2 %. Global Investment banks unexpectedly picked up very low numbers. While, back in college, we were discussing the placements in our group, I actually joked "Its a sign of global recession". Hell !!.... Is the recession really down the corner?

Hope not... anyways the panic button has been pressed in my campus, where the campus recruitment season is just a day to go.

Those who get the news from the media would prolly never know the pressure and tension of a gloomy and uncertain future some of the students are facing because by the end of it Management institutions manage to show a big picture which has all the colors in place.

The Agar Media: Management colleges like the one from where I am graduating should actually share the blame for the misquoted statements in newspapers and newschannels. At times, in the hunt of greater glory; the students also gloss the final fugures of campus recruitment and salaries being offered. There is this funny story that figured in one of the leading business newspapers:

"Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta students have been offered salary packages of more than 1 crore (10 million)..................
.............................. In fact, the IIMs in India have come of age as these salaries are about 50% more than the salary figure offered to Harvard and Stanford Graduates".

Eventually, students in these colleges know the missing link. So, a friend of mine called IIM, Cal questioning as to wtf!!!! are these figures. They replied "you started the game".

Yup, the 1st news of more than a Crore salary came out of my campus, which was offered by a leading investment bank. Well, if someone could get the structure of the overall salary being quoted, they could see, it includes a huge chunk as the expected bonus. ...And I talk of a bloated figure .. douche!!!!!

Talking about media, there is another news article which made our jaws drop and made us giggle. Read this : http://www.centralchronicle.com/20070303/0303102.htm.

This college is also among the reputed management colleges in India. Hopefully this press release was not a work of the college officials but the work of an evil genius called press reporter. Look at the spelling mistakes committed : Macancy, Assenger business consultant, Deloty consultancy, Goldman Saches, Duche bank, City group, Alghamin Industries,etc.

(The correction should be-McKinsey, Accenture, Deloitte, Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, Citi, Alghanim). Some of them are the richest banks in the world and lolz imagine if they read the news article.

The slave comes forward and brings the bowl forward:"The goats' testicle domina."

"Not for me, for Octavian." and points to the kid sitting opposite her. Then, she continues:"Eat them while they are warm my dear, puts oak in ur penis."

"I rather not." Refuses the young man with disgust in his voice.

"Nonsense, u must. U have been developing a distinctive feminine aroma and I do not like it.When ur mom's father was at ur age .. not a single slave gal was safe. Remember the son of Julia and the masculine men. Now, do as I say .. eat them."

"I will not."

"U will not leave the room unless u do as I say."

Stares for a while and then barks again:"I am waitinggg!!!!."

and that kid at the young age of 19 became the emperor of Rome. Under his rule Rome ushered in a new era of prosperity and stability.his name was Augustus, also called as The Son of God, the heir to the throne of Julius Caesar.

I came across this while watching Rome (a HBO series). It shows brutal and insensitive treatment of women. Men used to swear by the code of conduct, would live by sword and use women like commodity. Women would be deceitful and use sex and seduction to have their way and screw the royalty. Similar, sexual politics is also seen in far east in Indian subcontinent. Women were used as commodity (well things have changed but..) and women wd play similar games full of lust, deceit and treachery. Kama Sutra is a tale of how women play sexual politics.

Having said so... I wd again read the conversation above between Augustus and his mother and I can't stop laughing.. Dude!!!! goats's testicle to become a man.... he he he.

This is erratic. Suddenly, I found myself with a lot of free time. It is making me go crazy and I am doing really stupid stuff. Missing old flames... awwww. Soul searching.........bullshit. Playing....... kid!!!. and Singing.............. save me!!!.. and recorded them... why??????

The 1st song I chose to better (he he he) was "Show me how to live"............. Chris Cornell .

I Know, I can't SING. But u can pass these pieces of melody as drunken frustrations of a bereaved soul. (ouch!!! the songs were less painful than Jay's writing).

So, here u go.... this time COCHISE.
and I did that again :
Now u know when I said I am going crazy, what I meant.

Legs tied to the branches, I too 've been hanged upside down

The days of untented innocence is coming to an end. Last few days in college and its a mad rush to get a job. Nites go by discussing jobs, the hype surrounding my college and the pressure it has created on students. Cooked up stories, whimsical journalists have a field day. The salary figures quoted in news papers are largely false. The media attention and public interest has created a spell, where everyone is expected to bag a job which is top paying. These jobs are infact restricted to a certain sector and to a few only. However, ppl are sacrificing their choices and jumping into the job profiles, prolly which, they are not made for. All because they are falling prey to peer pressure.

Last few weeks, I myself witnessed emotionally and professionally testing times.( I woke up to the fact that HR (Human Resource) guys are digging up Orkut Profiles to know about candidates. Orkut has been a genuine social networking site and experiences realistic expression among frnds. In this regard, it is by far more well-behaved than Myspace, Friendster or HI5. But then u can't blame the corporates, when they are hiring people by paying a sum, which is far above the national scene. They can't afford to hire people who gonna dupe them and dump them after a brief stay. Dog eat Dog...Corporate espionage is metamorphosing.

Too bad tho, my orkut scraps don't feed the spying eyes much. It still is a nightmare for me cause half of the scraps are all about "where have u been placed (=got a job)? what about the salaries". If there is an old friend on chat, its the same Q. If its a fone call, its for only one purpose. Anyways, I don't have anything bad, that I need to hide.(In fact, I have a pretty good one.. job I mean ).

Talking of Jobs and readily available foreign exposures, I can't miss mentioning the story of Dildo and Nippo. Both of them got high paying jobs last year and are well placed in England. The story goes... During 1st few months, Dildo used to go out on weekends to clubs and pubs; while Nippo the conservative one wd stay back alone. He would pick a firang (white) chick and ask if she wd like to have a drink with him. Too bad .. no luck here dude. After constant failures, he started checking out eastern Europeans. 1st they wouldn't understand english. When they did, lol.. "no thanks". Dildo didn't get discouraged. He tried approaching Indians living in there. Lol, they won't even listen.

Now, Dildo spends time playing carom with Nippo in weekends.

U don't let ur go life like this. He he he .. so we have our share of fun at the high pressure situation. STD, Tiru me and Rubby have this tournament going on between us.

Hello ... 1,2,3... check... check. Welcome to the live coverage of the Satsang NB.
(The Notice Board is to discuss Philosophy, Gyan and naked sadhus; with their doodle-dum hanging and running into the holy waters of Ganges in Allahabad. Men at war are identified in the discussion thread only by their weird nicks.)

Super powers along Maharashtra questions : Why did Anna Nicole Smith Die?
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess responds : Please elaborate how this is related to enlightenment or this NB.

Super powers along Maharashtra replies : Anna Nicole Smith was one of the few individuals who had the ability to bring men "up" when they were down and spread warmth and "holiness" throughout the land. She could only be rivaled by Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi in these respects. So if we can understand why, and possibly how she died, we would be able to uncover a part of the mystery that is life and death.

Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess replies : I learn something new everyday.

Small people are called midgets interrupts the discussion : he he... I don't expect you Grande poopooba to not understand these things.

Che Gubbara : bad karma

A few days back a stupid news item featured in our NEWS NB (Notice Board). It followed a long discussion, culminating into a grand finale.

The news was about how women are attracted by body odor of men and hence the deo sales should go down. It was the byproduct of so many trivial researches that toe-nail-chewing scientists do.