Iron Maiden concert in Bangalore this month seems already a distant future. Precariously hanging, is also my Goa plan. G-Spot is dancing in the corner of my mind with his offer to go to Vaisno Devi. It is easier to fight US elections, than fix a plan for me. STD accuses me of the laziest and slowest guy to have roamed this earth.. Holy crap!!!! wd u believe it .. he he he.
I am lazy and slow. But O.J. Simpson beats me blue at that. Didn't you hear his latest claim. He says:
"Anna Nicole Smith's child is actually his. The gal child was born late because of his slow moving sperms. He hopes that there is no DNA test, otherwise it would be found that he is the father. He is among the three other men who have thrown their hats in the ring and claim the child is their."

Weird as it may sound, It would certainly do Anna proud if she is looking from the up-above. This is just the second weird findings of the week. The banana split guy, who lives close by introduced me to his cousin. Conversations took us around the world. From Charlie Sheen's hairdo in Hot Shots to Theory of olives from "How I met your mother".
She listens to Tony Flow and the Miraculously Majestic Masters of Mayhem. She says she is a big fan of their music. I said, "gulp!! gulp!! ok". It would have been easier to swallow had she just said she likes Red Hot Chilli Peppers, as the band is known now-a-days.
When she asked me what I listen to, I said, "cacophony of the weirdest lizard on earth which surely isn't miraculously majestic master of mayhem's fluidity." ..ok.. whatever it meant... bleh..
She said are u applying Theory of olives. Aha!! something I had an idea about. Theory of olives states that if you like olives and the counterpart doesn't there is an attraction.So , if some one likes red hot chilli peppers i wouldn't.
I said, "may be, if it impresses you ... however,I hardly have an idea what I am doing, except for attempting a sarcastic take on ur taste in music.. And in which I have failed measurably."
She shrugged her shoulders. I shrugged
Labels: entertainment, fun, humor
by JAY @ 9:37 PM
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Recent Posts
This is an over hyped conspiracy theory and the clip is very sleek.
Labels: blogging, Business, tech
by JAY @ 2:28 PM
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8 Ants in my pants:
- At 3/10/2007 09:40:00 AM, lunaticgal said...
- At 3/10/2007 10:43:00 AM, JAY said...
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Luna that means .. Google has collected loads of personal data in its database................ Like what does luna do?.. how many cats luna have?.. when was luna's 1st kiss?.. what is luna's social security number etc etc.. and hence they have taken away ur privacy.. They can use all their network to spy on u .. to control u and thus the whole human kind.
That is google's master plan. Isnt it scary :|. - At 3/11/2007 11:30:00 AM, Lizze said...
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No new info in this clip for me. There is old pic, from a white board, about google' masterplan
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=21470089&size=m
We are ginin' them the info for free .... says a lot about us really ... more then Google. - At 3/11/2007 03:41:00 PM, JAY said...
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yeah yeah Lizze .. my know it all ***rolls eyes**.. the clip was not for info but for .. the sleek vid clip made :).
isnt there a chance tht yahoo wd be doing this for long long time.. y accusing only Google :-? - At 3/13/2007 05:35:00 AM, Lizze said...
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the clip is a good one, I agree and I should have written that.
yahoo is in the shit at the moment and there are lots of rumours it is gonna get bought up. they have, so I have heard, the traffic but are not good enough to make money out of it.
msn are probably worse the google? - At 3/13/2007 03:35:00 PM, JAY said...
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Oh msn, is true shit... and in the wrong hands .. ppl, u can accuse of anything.
They have had hotmail.. may have loads of data. - At 3/14/2007 12:12:00 AM, Slim said...
- At 3/14/2007 01:39:00 AM, JAY said...
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Last fortnight was a whirlwind in the economy. The inflation touched a mammoth high, the annual exercise of Budget by the Finmin was tabled, the top B-Schools in the country entered the campus recruitment season and the grand old man of intestine Mr. Alan Greenspan opened his mouth again.
Talking of inflation, the reason is a palpable supply constraint. Too much money is chasing too few goods. The growing demand is exceeding the production capacities. Among other goods, Oil and petroleum is a substantial determinant of how inflation would go. India imports heavily and pays in rupees for it. Now, we do not let the Rupees to appreciate (limited floating), hence we have to pay a lot to import the oil. If Rupee appreciates against the Dollar the imports would become cheaper and the prices of oil can be brought down and hence the inflation too. Having said so its not that simple either. It spells doom for the exports and especially the software companies like Infosys; which are heavily dependent on software and services exports. Infact, it doesn't seem a good year for software companies. After enjoying a tax holiday of about 10 years they have been brought under the ambit of MAT (minimum alternative tax). No doubt the response from Bangalore was meek and gloomy. Meanwhile, the inflation is yet to be tamed.
Much ado about nothing: Alan Greenspan predicted about 33% chance of a global recession. Considering the fact that global economy was overheating after enjoying a 6th consecutive year of recovery, it seemed a correction factor. Stocks across the globe which had started tumbling two days ago .. actually made a comeback today. Greenspan's words couldn't dampen it further.
The reflection in my home: Today IIM Bangalore, one of the premier management institutes in India, saw its Day Zero placements today. It wasn't as rosy as expected in a year when the economy has prolly grown about 9.2 %. Global Investment banks unexpectedly picked up very low numbers. While, back in college, we were discussing the placements in our group, I actually joked "Its a sign of global recession". Hell !!.... Is the recession really down the corner?
Hope not... anyways the panic button has been pressed in my campus, where the campus recruitment season is just a day to go.
Those who get the news from the media would prolly never know the pressure and tension of a gloomy and uncertain future some of the students are facing because by the end of it Management institutions manage to show a big picture which has all the colors in place.
The Agar Media: Management colleges like the one from where I am graduating should actually share the blame for the misquoted statements in newspapers and newschannels. At times, in the hunt of greater glory; the students also gloss the final fugures of campus recruitment and salaries being offered. There is this funny story that figured in one of the leading business newspapers:
"Indian Institute of Management, Calcutta students have been offered salary packages of more than 1 crore (10 million)..................
.............................. In fact, the IIMs in India have come of age as these salaries are about 50% more than the salary figure offered to Harvard and Stanford Graduates".
Eventually, students in these colleges know the missing link. So, a friend of mine called IIM, Cal questioning as to wtf!!!! are these figures. They replied "you started the game".
Yup, the 1st news of more than a Crore salary came out of my campus, which was offered by a leading investment bank. Well, if someone could get the structure of the overall salary being quoted, they could see, it includes a huge chunk as the expected bonus. ...And I talk of a bloated figure .. douche!!!!!
Talking about media, there is another news article which made our jaws drop and made us giggle. Read this : http://www.centralchronicle.com/20070303/0303102.htm.
This college is also among the reputed management colleges in India. Hopefully this press release was not a work of the college officials but the work of an evil genius called press reporter. Look at the spelling mistakes committed : Macancy, Assenger business consultant, Deloty consultancy, Goldman Saches, Duche bank, City group, Alghamin Industries,etc.
(The correction should be-McKinsey, Accenture, Deloitte, Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, Citi, Alghanim). Some of them are the richest banks in the world and lolz imagine if they read the news article.
Labels: Business, college, Miscallaneous
by JAY @ 3:29 AM
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I am taking my Dorm for a dinner.... the whole dorm.. Oh yeah Baby... aaan aaan nod ur head.. That's right. See u latza, right now time for matza in Mirch Masala.
by JAY @ 8:01 PM
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2 Ants in my pants:
- At 3/03/2007 03:44:00 AM, Lizze said...
- At 3/04/2007 01:44:00 AM, JAY said...
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Yeah, well we had Kebabs, Kebabs and Tandoors.....the only fight we had was .. ppl were hell bent on proving food from their state was best.
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The evilllllllllllllllllllllllllll has been let loose.
I just finished the last exam in my life. TOmorrrow, I will start packing to go back home after 2 loooooooooong yrs, in which was prostituted by the books. (Doesn't feel bad tho .. I was a high end call boy of the acads
By the looks of it, u should feel by now I am going crazy. Batasha was the 1st one I called in the moment of ecstasy. Then, I wanted to call others.....hell!!! some inhibitions stopped me from doing so. Anyways, so here I am; my heads swinging to the Voodoo child by Jimi Hendrix and my fingers moving fast over the laptop surface.
Tomorrow, The sexy-eyes-Doc is coming to the town for an Interview. He is my long time undergrad friend and is also known as the man of weird ideas in the Jay world. When we finished XII, we took admission into St. Xavier's college (not telling you which Xaviers .. na na na). So, the class had like 40 gals and 10 guys of which 3 wd remain absent. When we would sit in the Lab.. staring at the gals... Doc wd mention "Jay!!! when r they gonna make prostitution legal in the country. When wd my dream of opening a brothel be realized.Oh!! Amsterdam I miss u".
After a brief stint there in the college he followed me to the undergraduation (B. Tech.) and we had fun.......... the story thereafter is LEEE GEEEN wait a minute its coming DDDARY.
But, I will talk about all those later.. right now two stingy chopsticks .. a few sexy white grain of rice and an aphrodisiac called Water is waiting for me ........ I NEED TO EAT.
by JAY @ 4:21 PM
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4 Ants in my pants:
- At 3/03/2007 03:47:00 AM, Lizze said...
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Done with school and got your degree? BIG CONGRATS!!
That is a fab feeling.
So happens next? After dinner that is ... - At 3/04/2007 01:42:00 AM, JAY said...
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After the dinner ........ i gotta skip some part (it was nasty :P).. and then.. Dunking Dunking Dunking..i.e. we poured buckets of water on each othaaa
- At 3/05/2007 06:53:00 AM, Trigger said...
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JJ's graduated. Goly! The world as we know it will never be the same again! It's like I can hear that eerie voice of forboding utter menacingly, "here comes the pain..." :-) Kudos, man, and easy on the 'kebab'. Gotta save some for the girls, ya dig;-)
- At 3/05/2007 12:32:00 PM, JAY said...
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"Not for me, for Octavian." and points to the kid sitting opposite her. Then, she continues:"Eat them while they are warm my dear, puts oak in ur penis."
"I rather not." Refuses the young man with disgust in his voice.
"Nonsense, u must. U have been developing a distinctive feminine aroma and I do not like it.When ur mom's father was at ur age .. not a single slave gal was safe. Remember the son of Julia and the masculine men. Now, do as I say .. eat them."
"I will not."
"U will not leave the room unless u do as I say."
Stares for a while and then barks again:"I am waitinggg!!!!."
and that kid at the young age of 19 became the emperor of Rome. Under his rule Rome ushered in a new era of prosperity and stability.his name was Augustus, also called as The Son of God, the heir to the throne of Julius Caesar.
I came across this while watching Rome (a HBO series). It shows brutal and insensitive treatment of women. Men used to swear by the code of conduct, would live by sword and use women like commodity. Women would be deceitful and use sex and seduction to have their way and screw the royalty. Similar, sexual politics is also seen in far east in Indian subcontinent. Women were used as commodity (well things have changed but..) and women wd play similar games full of lust, deceit and treachery. Kama Sutra is a tale of how women play sexual politics.
Having said so... I wd again read the conversation above between Augustus and his mother and I can't stop laughing.. Dude!!!! goats's testicle to become a man.... he he he.
Labels: entertainment, literotica, stories
by JAY @ 7:05 PM
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The 1st song I chose to better (he he he) was "Show me how to live"............. Chris Cornell
I Know, I can't SING. But u can pass these pieces of melody as drunken frustrations of a bereaved soul. (ouch!!! the songs were less painful than Jay's writing).
So, here u go.... this time COCHISE.
and I did that again :
Labels: fun, Miscallaneous, Music
by JAY @ 3:16 AM
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7 Ants in my pants:
- At 2/24/2007 04:37:00 PM, lunaticgal said...
- At 2/24/2007 05:38:00 PM, JAY said...
- At 2/28/2007 12:28:00 AM, said...
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lol...good ..good...btw i cant really see wht i m typing coz i have tears in my eyes n just cant stop laughing.
lol... - At 2/28/2007 02:26:00 AM, JAY said...
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THik hai Thik hai .. hansle.. urn't the only one who has rubbished my singing (awwwww). Komal called me tomorrow at 2 am to tell me how have i spoiled Chris cornell's songs. Well.. i dont have much to my defence but...umm. imagine i am chris Cornell and it wd feel betta ..he he ... and i was drunk .. and sleepy.. and excuses excuses...
- At 2/28/2007 12:43:00 PM, k-o-m-a-l said...
- At 2/28/2007 02:10:00 PM, JAY said...
- At 3/06/2007 08:08:00 PM, said...
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Smile, as we become a part of Monster's Inc.
U lick my wound, while I lick yours.
Last few weeks, I myself witnessed emotionally and professionally testing times.( I woke up to the fact that HR (Human Resource) guys are digging up Orkut Profiles to know about candidates. Orkut has been a genuine social networking site and experiences realistic expression among frnds. In this regard, it is by far more well-behaved than Myspace, Friendster or HI5. But then u can't blame the corporates, when they are hiring people by paying a sum, which is far above the national scene. They can't afford to hire people who gonna dupe them and dump them after a brief stay. Dog eat Dog...Corporate espionage is metamorphosing.
Too bad tho, my orkut scraps don't feed the spying eyes much. It still is a nightmare for me cause half of the scraps are all about "where have u been placed (=got a job)? what about the salaries". If there is an old friend on chat, its the same Q. If its a fone call, its for only one purpose. Anyways, I don't have anything bad, that I need to hide.(In fact, I have a pretty good one.. job I mean
Now, Dildo spends time playing carom with Nippo in weekends.
Labels: Business, college, fun
by JAY @ 9:55 PM
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2 Ants in my pants:
- At 2/24/2007 09:16:00 PM, said...
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wow dost superb, hahahaha!!! U need more practice to get the right notes, im ur dost, hahah!!!**..***
- At 2/24/2007 11:26:00 PM, JAY said...
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Ha ha hA .. Thannx Irene...
(u by mistake commented on the wrong post... this comment shd have been for the post above.. AUDIOSLAVED)
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(The Notice Board is to discuss Philosophy, Gyan and naked sadhus; with their doodle-dum hanging and running into the holy waters of Ganges in Allahabad. Men at war are identified in the discussion thread only by their weird nicks.)
Super powers along Maharashtra questions : Why did Anna Nicole Smith Die?
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess responds : Please elaborate how this is related to enlightenment or this NB.
Super powers along Maharashtra replies : Anna Nicole Smith was one of the few individuals who had the ability to bring men "up" when they were down and spread warmth and "holiness" throughout the land. She could only be rivaled by Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi in these respects. So if we can understand why, and possibly how she died, we would be able to uncover a part of the mystery that is life and death.
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess replies : I learn something new everyday.
Small people are called midgets interrupts the discussion : he he... I don't expect you Grande poopooba to not understand these things.
Che Gubbara : bad karma
Labels: entertainment, fun
by JAY @ 12:02 PM
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1 Ants in my pants:
- At 2/20/2007 04:30:00 PM, sAm said...
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hey hey jay...! I love you bLog..buT put some designs on it...! It is SooO eMptY...! hehe aNd BorIng...! buT i Love YouR bLog...! at LeasT yuO dnt haVe wrOng grAmmaR...hehe
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The news was about how women are attracted by body odor of men and hence the deo sales should go down. It was the byproduct of so many trivial researches that toe-nail-chewing scientists do.
Androstadienone is the male chemical signal. Here.....I drop it and there u get dropped.
Apart from the nasty scientific discussion we can indulged in, a lot of single male species came in with a new found argument. They justified their singledom and inability of female appeasement to their regular bathing habits and hygiene. Hydrophobia would result in a stinking male homo sapiens, which would coz the human body to be the fort of accumulated androstadienone and thus females would stick to him.
Soon, the repercussions were seen in the Annual POTY awards (Person of the year awards). A separate category was created for "hydrophobia award" for the one who bathes the least.
POTY nite didn't spring any surprise. Geela hosted the awards nite (which is also our farewell nite). The hydrophobia award was bagged by none other than our neighbor peepu.. Yikes!!.
Moment of reckoning came when "ADAM and EVE award" for the most sticky couple was announced and the winner was again Dopey and Peepu.
Geela straightway announced, their stickiness to be the true testament for the article on women and odor.
Geela: "Dopey; sticking with peepu, the hydrophobia award winner!!! It has to be true love...
with frustration and anguish in his face, he screams: " .....HOW?"
Labels: college, fun, Miscallaneous
by JAY @ 2:21 PM
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3 Ants in my pants:
- At 2/13/2007 06:51:00 AM, Lizze said...
- At 2/15/2007 11:23:00 PM, Slim said...
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Yeah, unfortunately evolution has made women more attractive towards the half-homosexual (aka metro) man :(
- At 2/19/2007 10:52:00 PM, JAY said...
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One- I indulge in excessive self adulation [Cause though it may be wrong, it doesn't take my right to talk about my feats.]..... and thus u have been lawyered
two - While I write this, I have already slipped into trance listening to one of my fav. bands Rammstein.
three - captain courageous has nothing to do with dharma. The story is in two parts.
___________________________________________________________________
Captain Cook
Interdorm cricket is something that takes the interdorm rivalry to a new level. Being the defending champions puts extra burden on us and considering we don't have the batting strength we had last year, our task is really cut out. Someone had put the team name in the notice board with me as the captain. Things really are weird here.
The taming bulls - Bhooke(cap). Geela. Chuli. Puchi.Cryo.Appu.TJ and Jhalak(wk).
The 1st match was against one of the toughest teams in the tournament and we, the defending champions entered the arena as the underdogs.We scored a pathetic 39. When it was time to bowl, the opponents made a mockery of our bowling. Soon, they were chanting "where is the next team". Our shoulders were down. Suddenly, Geela started bowling like a drunken monkey. Opponents started getting run out in a mad rush. In the last over they were supposed to score 5 runs to win. Yours truly and sincerely Jay took the ball. I bowled a negative line. The opponents gave away their wickets and lost by one run. Hurrays.It took some time b4 realization of the victory sank in.
Sounds Fatalistic. Atleast, we are through to Quarter Finals.
__________________________________________________________________
Dharma
In our leadership class, we had to make a presentation on "Idealism and reality" based on Iravati Karve's Book "Yuganta". We had three characters to portray "Karna, Aswathama and Krishna" (Tongue twister ?.. no doubt the exchange students from Europe excused themselves from this Hindu mythological discussion)
We planned a decent role play and we pulled it well too, except one technical goof up. I used one of my favorite Fonts "Samarakan"(below), but I couldn't install it on the classroom comp.

As usual the classroom produced some intense discussion splashed with corny display of humor which reached rock bottom.
The faculty is moderating the discussion and asks to draw parallel between the character of Krishna and Rama.
She says "Though both are considered Gods, Rama is the one people look up to and not Krishna.Even when Mahatma Gandhi was shot, he said Hey Rama"
interruption 1 - Ma'm, That's also because Rama is easier to pronounce than Krishna
laughter.
interruption 2 - Ma'm. actually the chant goes . "Hare rama , hare krishna." So, Gandhiji mentioned Rama first and before he could say Krishna ... he was no more.
man!!!!.
However, the following cracker was a bit respectable.
Characters of Karna and his quest to be recognised as one of the royal blood was being discussed, when some1 mentioned the dreaded word RACISM. Some fellowmen started giggling.
On being asked to share what was it that got them tickled, prompt came the anecdote-
Well, last Sunday we had been to dorm dinner and Mukul ordered SIZZLING BROWNIES.
To that Geela commented - "Had u been in England u would have been charged with Racism and atleast watchout that Shilpa Shetty is not watching"
The faculty later said " In fact, this city is famous for its' sizzling brownies."
.......
don't laugh. literally.
by JAY @ 1:44 AM
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5 Ants in my pants:
- At 2/11/2007 05:51:00 AM, Trigger said...
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Had u said that ("sizzling brownies") in Nigeria, the most u would have received would've been non-plussed looks :-) People judge less by innuendo in speech than by overt action. And I'm impressed you've paid more attention to ur typos. Only two this time (I'll let u guess which and which). U're the bomb, JJ. Hare Rama - oops, was it 'Krisna' first:-)?
- At 2/11/2007 02:53:00 PM, JAY said...
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"people judge by innuendo in speech less than by overt action" - that's a random generalization .. and a sweeping statement... It solely depends on how much the society is evolved ... :)..
Hare Rama .. Hare Krishna. - At 2/11/2007 10:45:00 PM, Trigger said...
- At 2/12/2007 03:50:00 AM, Trigger said...
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yeah...I see how you'd misunderstand that. I was carrying on a train of thought about Nigerians, but I guess you missed that 'cos I didn't say, "people HERE judge...". My bad :-)
- At 2/12/2007 02:18:00 PM, JAY said...
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He he he .. exactly Trigger happy.
I know u meant people THERE judge.
that's y I added with "sarcasm" that ... it solely depends on how much the society has evolved...(the society which is judging :P).





