"Not for me, for Octavian." and points to the kid sitting opposite her. Then, she continues:"Eat them while they are warm my dear, puts oak in ur penis."
"I rather not." Refuses the young man with disgust in his voice.
"Nonsense, u must. U have been developing a distinctive feminine aroma and I do not like it.When ur mom's father was at ur age .. not a single slave gal was safe. Remember the son of Julia and the masculine men. Now, do as I say .. eat them."
"I will not."
"U will not leave the room unless u do as I say."
Stares for a while and then barks again:"I am waitinggg!!!!."
and that kid at the young age of 19 became the emperor of Rome. Under his rule Rome ushered in a new era of prosperity and stability.his name was Augustus, also called as The Son of God, the heir to the throne of Julius Caesar.
I came across this while watching Rome (a HBO series). It shows brutal and insensitive treatment of women. Men used to swear by the code of conduct, would live by sword and use women like commodity. Women would be deceitful and use sex and seduction to have their way and screw the royalty. Similar, sexual politics is also seen in far east in Indian subcontinent. Women were used as commodity (well things have changed but..) and women wd play similar games full of lust, deceit and treachery. Kama Sutra is a tale of how women play sexual politics.
Having said so... I wd again read the conversation above between Augustus and his mother and I can't stop laughing.. Dude!!!! goats's testicle to become a man.... he he he.
Labels: entertainment, literotica, stories
by JAY @ 7:05 PM |Show/Add (0) comments|
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The 1st song I chose to better (he he he) was "Show me how to live"............. Chris Cornell .
I Know, I can't SING. But u can pass these pieces of melody as drunken frustrations of a bereaved soul. (ouch!!! the songs were less painful than Jay's writing).
So, here u go.... this time COCHISE.
and I did that again :
Labels: fun, Miscallaneous, Music
by JAY @ 3:16 AM |Show/Add (7) comments|
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Smile, as we become a part of Monster's Inc.
U lick my wound, while I lick yours.
Last few weeks, I myself witnessed emotionally and professionally testing times.( I woke up to the fact that HR (Human Resource) guys are digging up Orkut Profiles to know about candidates. Orkut has been a genuine social networking site and experiences realistic expression among frnds. In this regard, it is by far more well-behaved than Myspace, Friendster or HI5. But then u can't blame the corporates, when they are hiring people by paying a sum, which is far above the national scene. They can't afford to hire people who gonna dupe them and dump them after a brief stay. Dog eat Dog...Corporate espionage is metamorphosing.
Too bad tho, my orkut scraps don't feed the spying eyes much. It still is a nightmare for me cause half of the scraps are all about "where have u been placed (=got a job)? what about the salaries". If there is an old friend on chat, its the same Q. If its a fone call, its for only one purpose. Anyways, I don't have anything bad, that I need to hide.(In fact, I have a pretty good one.. job I mean ).
Talking of Jobs and readily available foreign exposures, I can't miss mentioning the story of Dildo and Nippo. Both of them got high paying jobs last year and are well placed in England. The story goes... During 1st few months, Dildo used to go out on weekends to clubs and pubs; while Nippo the conservative one wd stay back alone. He would pick a firang (white) chick and ask if she wd like to have a drink with him. Too bad .. no luck here dude. After constant failures, he started checking out eastern Europeans. 1st they wouldn't understand english. When they did, lol.. "no thanks". Dildo didn't get discouraged. He tried approaching Indians living in there. Lol, they won't even listen.
Now, Dildo spends time playing carom with Nippo in weekends.
U don't let ur go life like this. He he he .. so we have our share of fun at the high pressure situation. STD, Tiru me and Rubby have this tournament going on between us.
Labels: Business, college, fun
by JAY @ 9:55 PM |Show/Add (2) comments|
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(The Notice Board is to discuss Philosophy, Gyan and naked sadhus; with their doodle-dum hanging and running into the holy waters of Ganges in Allahabad. Men at war are identified in the discussion thread only by their weird nicks.)
Super powers along Maharashtra questions : Why did Anna Nicole Smith Die?
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess responds : Please elaborate how this is related to enlightenment or this NB.
Super powers along Maharashtra replies : Anna Nicole Smith was one of the few individuals who had the ability to bring men "up" when they were down and spread warmth and "holiness" throughout the land. She could only be rivaled by Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi in these respects. So if we can understand why, and possibly how she died, we would be able to uncover a part of the mystery that is life and death.
Pickbrain says consistency is the key to sucksess replies : I learn something new everyday.
Small people are called midgets interrupts the discussion : he he... I don't expect you Grande poopooba to not understand these things.
Che Gubbara : bad karma
Labels: entertainment, fun
by JAY @ 12:02 PM |Show/Add (3) comments|
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The news was about how women are attracted by body odor of men and hence the deo sales should go down. It was the byproduct of so many trivial researches that toe-nail-chewing scientists do.
Androstadienone is the male chemical signal. Here.....I drop it and there u get dropped.
Apart from the nasty scientific discussion we can indulged in, a lot of single male species came in with a new found argument. They justified their singledom and inability of female appeasement to their regular bathing habits and hygiene. Hydrophobia would result in a stinking male homo sapiens, which would coz the human body to be the fort of accumulated androstadienone and thus females would stick to him.
Soon, the repercussions were seen in the Annual POTY awards (Person of the year awards). A separate category was created for "hydrophobia award" for the one who bathes the least.
POTY nite didn't spring any surprise. Geela hosted the awards nite (which is also our farewell nite). The hydrophobia award was bagged by none other than our neighbor peepu.. Yikes!!.
Moment of reckoning came when "ADAM and EVE award" for the most sticky couple was announced and the winner was again Dopey and Peepu.
Geela straightway announced, their stickiness to be the true testament for the article on women and odor.
Geela: "Dopey; sticking with peepu, the hydrophobia award winner!!! It has to be true love...
with frustration and anguish in his face, he screams: " .....HOW?"
Labels: college, fun, Miscallaneous
by JAY @ 2:21 PM |Show/Add (3) comments|
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One- I indulge in excessive self adulation [Cause though it may be wrong, it doesn't take my right to talk about my feats.]..... and thus u have been lawyered
two - While I write this, I have already slipped into trance listening to one of my fav. bands Rammstein.
three - captain courageous has nothing to do with dharma. The story is in two parts.
___________________________________________________________________
Captain Cook
Interdorm cricket is something that takes the interdorm rivalry to a new level. Being the defending champions puts extra burden on us and considering we don't have the batting strength we had last year, our task is really cut out. Someone had put the team name in the notice board with me as the captain. Things really are weird here.
The taming bulls - Bhooke(cap). Geela. Chuli. Puchi.Cryo.Appu.TJ and Jhalak(wk).
The 1st match was against one of the toughest teams in the tournament and we, the defending champions entered the arena as the underdogs.We scored a pathetic 39. When it was time to bowl, the opponents made a mockery of our bowling. Soon, they were chanting "where is the next team". Our shoulders were down. Suddenly, Geela started bowling like a drunken monkey. Opponents started getting run out in a mad rush. In the last over they were supposed to score 5 runs to win. Yours truly and sincerely Jay took the ball. I bowled a negative line. The opponents gave away their wickets and lost by one run. Hurrays.It took some time b4 realization of the victory sank in.
Sounds Fatalistic. Atleast, we are through to Quarter Finals.
__________________________________________________________________
Dharma
In our leadership class, we had to make a presentation on "Idealism and reality" based on Iravati Karve's Book "Yuganta". We had three characters to portray "Karna, Aswathama and Krishna" (Tongue twister ?.. no doubt the exchange students from Europe excused themselves from this Hindu mythological discussion)
We planned a decent role play and we pulled it well too, except one technical goof up. I used one of my favorite Fonts "Samarakan"(below), but I couldn't install it on the classroom comp.
As usual the classroom produced some intense discussion splashed with corny display of humor which reached rock bottom.
The faculty is moderating the discussion and asks to draw parallel between the character of Krishna and Rama.
She says "Though both are considered Gods, Rama is the one people look up to and not Krishna.Even when Mahatma Gandhi was shot, he said Hey Rama"
interruption 1 - Ma'm, That's also because Rama is easier to pronounce than Krishna
laughter.
interruption 2 - Ma'm. actually the chant goes . "Hare rama , hare krishna." So, Gandhiji mentioned Rama first and before he could say Krishna ... he was no more.
man!!!!.
However, the following cracker was a bit respectable.
Characters of Karna and his quest to be recognised as one of the royal blood was being discussed, when some1 mentioned the dreaded word RACISM. Some fellowmen started giggling.
On being asked to share what was it that got them tickled, prompt came the anecdote-
Well, last Sunday we had been to dorm dinner and Mukul ordered SIZZLING BROWNIES.
To that Geela commented - "Had u been in England u would have been charged with Racism and atleast watchout that Shilpa Shetty is not watching"
The faculty later said " In fact, this city is famous for its' sizzling brownies."
.......
don't laugh. literally.
by JAY @ 1:44 AM |Show/Add (5) comments|
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Rated - A
Theme - A hard Days Night
4:15 pm - I had put on my business casual and rushed to CR5. I took the comb in one pocket, so that I could rest the bouncing souls on my head called hair, to rest; while I walked to the CR5. If u are late u have to flush out 250 bucks.
4:30 pm- 5:30pm - the presentation by this company, which claims to be the 2nd largest FMCG in India (pre Gillete-PnG marriage) starts with the display of "uncommon sense", which is their idea of existance.
Well, one good thing they distribute After Shower Cream and a Aftershower Gel.
wierd.
Then, for an hour they go on to pitch in as to how wonderful it is to work in that organization.. I am impresssed.
5:45 pm- I rush to the computer center (I have been playing the Commodity trading game there). I see a slump in the silver and gold prices. I start buying a couple of lots. Soon, there is a news flash in Kitco.com that some funds have started buying Gold. Gold prices start to rise so wht do I do .. I take some short (sell) positions.
No prizes for guessing the bullion prices never go back .. and I start losing money. I decide to go back and sleep.
8:30 pm - I came back to room. and started reading a book "the new world of microenterprise finance". I was supposed to submit a review next morning.
10:00 pm - I couldn't resist sleep. :)
00:30 am - I woke up to reality. Start slipping the pages of the book. fast and furious.
7:00 am - I completed a review of 4000 words. Then, I started another book.
10:10 pm- I finish both the reviews. Rush to Ludo's room. wake him up. Start his comp and fire the print out. y don't they keep their system fast and running. geez. Meanwhile, far-far away from the maddening moments the class where the review was to be submitted has already started.
10:10 am - I enter the classroom with a thumping noise of hands hitting the desks and everyone staring at me.
Mr. Sriram welcomes me in the class."Did u submit both the reviews". I answer by nodding my head in affirmative. "Are u able to walk? (he he he.. my foot) If, u wanna go back and sleep, I will allow you and If u wanna stay, that is possible only in one condition - u have to promise You won't snore".
No Answers.
"I have been Nasty to you"
No Answers. (Nasty. Nasty... Hell ya!! u have been Nasty.)
**FlashBack***
The book review was allotted like a month ago. However, I realized only two days back that the book I was supposed to cover, wasn't available. I was roaming around in a corridor, where I was supposed to be interviewed for a Job that I saw the prof passing by. I informed the prof that I didn't find the particular book and instead picked another by the same author. the prof gave me a mouthful before he realized my neatly pressed suit and asked " Are you going for a job interview?" I said "yes". " Well, then go in a good mood and talk to me in the class next day."
The next day. He asked me to submit reviews on two books. Punishment for bad planning. I had only one day to go.
So I had finished 2 book reviews of 4000 words each in one night. One of the Book was about SBA Loan guarantees to the Bank credits by the federal government and the only thing it discussed was how badly run and managed the whole program was in the early 1950s.
Gladly it was the profs last class and thats my experience with one of the best prof i met was to end.
"Ok, So bye bye for now and all the best for your careers.Its time for me to gossip in our lobby with other teachers." Pause. and stare. ""what do you think only students gossip. Faculty also have their own juices to share. The crime committed on you is an organized one." Wide smile. "Good morning Jay and Bye"
11:15 am - I am back to my room. I check my mail-box and reply to some penis enlargement kit messages. Oh, when would they stop.
11:45 am - I adorn myself in business casuals again and enter the CR5 (again!!), which adorned itself for a mega cola war. Yes, this time it was Pepsico presentation.
Good thing about them, they distributed us lots of free Pepsi and Mountain dew. Bad thing, I am not very fond of Pepsi products. They made us play a game in four groups named "Pepsi, Aquafina, Tropicana, Fritolay". We were supposed to solve an operation problem for them.
The Fritolay group presented an algorithm to solve their distribution problem and walked away with the prize.
1:30pm - I finished my mountain dew and walked towards the dining hall for Lunch.
2:00 pm- I come back to room. I check the Gold prices and silver prices. They had climbed further up. more losses. I sit back and wait for the prices to go down. They didn't.
5:00pm- I come back to room dejected and open my comp to see a news in www.kitco.com
"Gold prices crash from an all time high because the funds face losses".
A bit too little too late.
Labels: Business, college, Miscallaneous
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